From Where Do We Leave

Although this isn't my first rodeo, it still packed enough of a punch to knock me off my feet into a state of confusion. Basically, today's post will touch on the topic of the death and burial of a loved one.

Adelaide Fringe, 2018

Death in the Hospital

In all honesty, it is easier on the loved ones if the deceased takes their final breath in the hospital. The necessary paperwork would be conducted with their assistance, including the issuance of an official death certificate.

That's when the postmortem comes into play.

At this stage, the next of kin (usually the spouse or registered emergency contact) would be notified. That way, they can arrange for a mortician to schedule a wake service and/or a direct cremation.

The body is usually released once the postmortem has been completed (provided the cause of death isn't suspicious), but is subjected to the signing of the release forms and the identification of the deceased.

(P.S. My memory of the process of claiming the body from the hospital is rather fuzzy. It's been years since I last dealt with this.)

The mortician would then bring the body back to the funeral home for cosmetic preparation before the wake service.

This is why one should always be prepared for their last rites. If it is expressed in a legal document, it's even better because no one can question it... and the next of kin wouldn't need to run around like a headless chicken.

The moment the services of the funeral home is engaged, the funeral director would ask for instructions on how the deceased's remains are to be handled—whether there would be a wake service or not, and if the deceased would be laid to rest or cremated. If the family is unsure of how to approach the matter, the mortician would also advise on the best course forward, taking into consideration their financial, moral, and religious situation.

Death Out of the Hospital

Depending on where the deceased was found, the process could differ slightly. It'd be best to err on the side of caution and do your own due diligence.

For the purposes of this post, I'll be discussing this from the context of them dying at home.

The next of kin's first port of call would be to call the emergency responders (your country's equivalent of 911), informing them of the death. They would then dispatch the EMTs to the said location to further assist with the situation. At the same time, the first responder would guide you on the use of the AED defibrillator or perform CPR over the phone.

The EMTs have a duty to ask whether the family would want to continue the resuscitation and inform them of the consequences spanning from that—including the possibility of blood bleeding from the eyes, nose, and mouth. The pooling of blood, you would say.

Once the mobile electrocardiogram machine confirms that the deceased no longer has a heartbeat, a representative would have to head to the nearest police station to apply for a burial permit and engage the services of a funeral home. (The body would need to be handled soonest possible due to rigor mortis, hence the urgency.)

Because the investigating officer would need to verify the death (as required by law), the scene where the body was found would need to be secured. That is, until the police issue the burial permit.

The police in charge would then receive the oral report and draft it into an official one for you to verify and sign. After that, the report would be given to the sergeant in charge to sign off (after they have been satisfied with the details) before it is forwarded to the headquarters.

Once the headquarters okays the report, the burial permit is then issued and given to the informant, giving them permission to move the body.

For this, expect to spend hours waiting at the precinct.

(P.S.S. Depending on the nature of death and age of the deceased, the police might also request that a postmortem be conducted. The sergeant in charge would contact the informant directly with the updates if further documents/procedures are needed.)

The permit allows the funeral home to transport the body for the cosmetic procedure, getting ready for the wake service, or the cremation (as per the family's wishes).

When it comes to death, there's so much paperwork to be dealt with, so this is actually not the end of it.

Food Exploration

On the bright side, because stepping out of the house has been a draining activity for me, I've just decided to order everything - yes, including meals - online and have them delivered to me.

Paying that nominal amount for the delivery fees would be much better than having to deal with crowds of humans and risking a full-blown meltdown.

That in turn has led me to discovering more food and beverage outlets in and around my neighborhood.

The Calm in Chaos

I'm running around like a headless chicken as of late. Between work, the constant need to research the websites for specific medical items that I need, and the imbalance of life, there's not much downtime again. Ugh, what kind of life do I even have?

In short, I found myself in the hospital decades later, not as a patient but more of a next-of-kin. I was supposed to be concerned in my panic for the patient's well-being, but my behavior resembled more like someone who was disconnected from the situation.

Lol, no wonder the emergency physicians were caught aback by my reaction. I think they were used to dealing with frantic next-of-kins instead. I mean, this wasn't my first rodeo. The last time I was in the hospital, it was for the afterlife matters - and I had the same barely-there reaction.

Who knows if I had disassociated without even being aware of it both times?

But if there are some things that I've picked up from this experience, it's the importance of medical insurance. Even if you aren't open to purchasing an insurance policy, it is still pertinent to have a medical one. You wouldn't know what tomorrow would bring, so it's best to be safer than sorry. At least you wouldn't have to pay the medical bills out-of-pocket. I got mine in the end because of this reason (and am thinking of buying a second one to cover my soul too).

That said, for a future reference, I shall list the items needed in the event that someone I know or I myself end up being warded. At least I wouldn't get into a state again. First thing's first—your medical card. Or at least a copy of your medical policy in the event that your attending physician needs to liaise with the insurance company. It also works as a proof of your medical/health insurance—as long as it is still within the valid period.

Next would be your next-of-kin or someone to deal with the medical matters. Your next-of-kins are usually the close family members (parents, siblings, and children or relatives). Apparently, the definition is not legally fixed, so you can have anyone of your choice by way of a Power of Attorney to execute your standing instructions. (You're better off speaking with a lawyer for further details, though.)

Third, be prepared with the level of care needed after discharge. Depending on the seriousness of the condition, the person's competence, and their mobility, be prepared for the round-the-clock care and their stubbornness. The latter part will be a challenge as it will chip away at your emotions and wear down your patience.

Them patients are extremely—and I emphasize, extremely—capable of uttering the meanest and most demeaning words possible… and deny ever doing so. Not all, but some of them—so just be prepared for this.

And now, the list of items

-Adult diapers (especially if there is limited to no mobility whatsoever)

90cm x 90 cm underpads

-Underpads (mattress-sized [if possible] or the largest size [90 cm x 90 cm]) to avoid the risk of spillage/leakage (with adult diapers comes the use of this)
-Reusable absorbent bed pad (this works like the underpads, but it's washable)
-Wedge pillow sponge cushions (this helps when the person needs to be turned every few hours or so without breaking the caregiver's back)

Baby wipes

Antibacterial wipes

-Loads of wet issues/baby wipes and antibacterial wipes (for those days when it is necessary to wipe down the body and the bathroom's just a no-go)
-Medical gloves and masks (if you're dealing with soiled diapers)
-Comfortable clothes

Antibacterial Spray

-Air fresheners or sprays (so that the place won't start reeking)

Una Breve Bienvenida a la Blogosfera

(Translation: A Short Welcome to the Blogosphere)

Oh, look at what we have here.

It's been almost a year since I dropped from the face of the blogosphere. I mean, my last post was in May 2024, and it wasn't a complete one.

 

Taken from one of Sunway Pyramid's parking floors

Anyway, you might wonder, what could have pulled me from the blog for such a long time. Well, the answer could come as a surprise (or not, depending on who's reading). It's work; I've been so focused on work and fulfilling the hours that I forgot about this little project of mine.

Nothing much changed, except for the increase in hours, but it has taught me one thing: why folks always stressed the skills of time management and boundaries. If one isn't careful, the fragile scale tips over to the side where they spend more hours, which results in a dangerous domino effect.

(Trust me! I've lived through this twice!)

Yet, it is arduous for me to stop thinking about work. Whenever I catch a breath, I keep having the sneaking suspicion that something will happen or I will just commit a vanishing act for hours.

Workaholic, much?

Self-isolation, much?

At some poke bowl shop

Perhaps, but I do have moments when the mere existence of humans ruffles my feathers.

On the side, I have discovered a lot of F&B outlets mushrooming in locations within driving distance from my neighborhood. While a couple are my new haunts, I haven't given the rest of them a try, considering how I am unable to get myself out of the house and can only rely on Grab/FoodPanda to make the delivery. (My temper tends to rise whenever I am in a crowded area, so it's best to remove myself from the equation to prevent any blowout.)

But really, 2024 has sailed past with such speed that 1) I barely remember living the year or 2) I've lived through in a dissociative state. Now that we're in a new year - the year of a snake, let's see if I am able to carve enough time out of a busy schedule on a weekly basis to juggle this blog and my work moving forward.

I'd need the appropriate content to work with as well. I can't be plucking something out of the sky, right?

Consider this a brief post, while I crack my head to brainstorm a proper one.

Blurry Images

So, in the midst of the busy workload, my subconscious decided to give me some respite by sending messages through the dreams. I only remember bits and pieces of it because it was a late night and an early morning.

I dreamt that we were in Puchong. Or at least we were because of the neighborhood mall that we patronized. The layout was as exactly how I remembered it to be, even though I've never lived there in real life.

The person I was with was taller than me, and while he wasn't sinewy, it was evident that he frequented the gym from time to time. Don't ask me why, but his presence gives off the aura of safety and being cared for.

We found ourselves in a quiet shed near the mall. Even though it was constructed with zinc, it was bright and airy. There was even a decent-looking couch and a table fan, which made us feel lucky that we were there after-hours. Since we had the shed to ourselves, we merely made ourselves comfortable and I fell asleep.

Then, we had to attend to some matters. Seeing that barely anyone knew the existence and location of the shed, I left my backpack there since it was burdensome to lug it around. By the time we returned, there was a senior citizen tidying up the shed. So, I took the opportunity to ask whether he saw my passport (since I couldn't locate it anywhere).

He mentioned that he hadn't seen it either and asked whether I was the owner of the backpack. When he arrived, he saw the bag but didn't want to move it since he knew the owner would eventually return to get the item.

…

Then, in a change of scene, we all found ourselves in the living room of a decent house, working out the arrangements for bed. Since there were a handful of us, it meant that we all had to bunk up and share beds for a while.

Mr. Protector took the room upstairs while my mom and I took the one downstairs with another lady. She was a known associate, but I couldn't remember her name.

Truth be told, I won't need the help of a dream interpreter to assist with this. The moment I saw the neighborhood mall and Mr. Protector in the dream, I already knew what was going on—it was my subconscious's way of sending help.

Sprinkles of Stress

Ironically, this was something that I dreamt about, and here's how it went:-

Credits: Photo by Alice Triquet on Unsplash

I was in a high-rise building overlooking a lake. Opposite the lake was an island-looking place with a bench, and seated on the bench was a mother with two young children - a boy and a girl. The mother was in the middle and reading to the youngsters on her left and right, respectively. 

They were separated from me by that pool of water in the lake, whereby the high-rise building was on one end, and they were at the other end, making them the only ones on the other side. It was as if they were on their private island.

The next minute I knew, I smiled like I was relieved and satisfied that everything fell into place as I collapsed onto the floor. As this happened, the camera pans to someone else - a man of fair complexion - as I landed on the ground with a thud. 

In the next scene, there were office colleagues around for a corporate event. Two women were gathered around a four-tier cake that resembled a wedding cake at the same place where I had collapsed, while I, still very much alive, was observing their behavior in the distant corner. Time travel, much?

Then, I was in a public area and trying to reach out to someone acquainted with me. However, before I could vocalize my thoughts and call out to him, I noticed that someone else - a woman - had approached the said person. So, I didn't bother to do anything and headed out on my way with my trusty umbrella to take the escalator down… to somewhere.

Riverbank Promenade, SA

There was a sense of relief while walking in the rain; it was as if I craved to be in it and wanted it to flush my buried emotions. Even though I could hear someone calling my name, I ignored the person and walked faster to blend with the crowd and cause the person to lose sight of me. I even ditched the umbrella aside in the process. Yet, he narrowed the distance between us, and as I continued walking ahead, I noticed two people walking past me with spectacles soiled in the rain. 

One even looked at me with a sad face, as I continued to ignore the person who had called my name from earlier. 

And it's time to decipher the dream, bit by bit. 

I remember feeling at ease and relieved when I saw the lake; it was as if everything was falling into place when I saw the bench and the small family. Gosh, it might even mean that the water could be drawing me in. According to the online interpretation, they mentioned that "If you can see the lake is huge, this symbolizes that great changes are on the horizon. If the lake is deep in nature, it means that you have a fear of deep emotional situations. Lakes in dreams generally signify an emotion and energy in which you have taken to yourself."

Well… can I reserve my comments on this? I have an idea of where this is going, but I don't think it's suitable for the public domain. 

For the part where I collapsed after seeing the bench and its occupants, it sounded more like my body decided to give up on everything and end things. However, the online interpretation has an alternative: "You may dream of collapsing when they are desperate for rest and rejuvenation. There may be a sense of exhaustion experienced in daily life on a physical, emotional, or mental level. Fainting can be a sign of concern about the well-being of a family member. This dream may indicate the dreamer's wish to protect and care for their loved one or even a subconscious awareness of a family issue."

Oh my, this is absolutely accurate - I've been swamped with the sudden influx of work, thanks to the timing of the year and the changes in work scope. All I want at the end of the year is just to sleep, instead of seeing or meeting any human to maintain the level of friendship/relationship. So, I guess this is the indication from my subconscious to take a chill pill and one breath at a time instead of biting off more than I can chew.

As for the part where I tried to reach out to someone but was ignored in the end, I think it is merely a reflection of my psyche as a result of the above. (Yup, the desire to stay at home and not breathe in the fresh air is rather strong now.)

There are two contrasting suggestions to this. One interpretation is that "Dreaming about getting ignored is likely related to your inability to express, or understand, your emotions. Or in your waking life, you feel or assume that you’re just being taken for granted by someone you’re trying to please." Judging from this sentence alone, I'd say it just goes to say that I'm repressing my emotions in exchange for stability or peace - and it's affecting my subconscious.

Another interpretation is that "Dreaming of being ignored may be associated with your emotional detachment from others. It’s probably because of past events that greatly hurt you, which caused you to feel safer when there are no attachments." Maybe the subconscious is craving more human contact whereas my ego merely wants to push everyone else to a safe distance since it feels that there is a danger if I'm too close to anyone.

The part where I took the escalator to head to a lower floor also speaks of something. The online interpretation suggested that "When you dream of going down on an escalator, this indicates that you may fail to meet your expectations. You dedicated yourself a lot to get into a more comfortable position, and now you have almost lost everything. Someone envious would make this happen. It would help if you thought smart and don’t let your efforts go to waste. Your achievements are the result of your work and sweat. Hold on tight and stay firm in what you are doing."

Again, a sign of asking too much from myself? Perfectionism about to say hello?

A Dream of Swimming in Stress and Insecurity

I dreamt that I was in a brightly-lit commercial store and having a chat with an acquaintance about the products and services that the place offered. I was seated behind the counter while he was leaning over to make it easier for him to hear me.

At the same time, a good friend was done with his business and about to leave the store when his gaze landed on me. Knowing that he wasn't of the same nationality as me and he loved hugs (like really, really loved them), I took the initiative to give him a goodbye hug.

One thing led to another and we left the store together while behaving like we were high on alcohol as we made our way down a dim alley. Obviously, I was worried, but when I saw the streetlight shining on a signboard at the end of the road and with him there, I knew that I was okay because we were about to arrive at the main road.

So, here comes the dream interpretation.

From the get-go, the moment the place appeared in the dream, I already knew that this place exists in real life. Even the placement of the streetlights in the back alley too.

About the part where I gave the good friend a hug, I actually don't know the person in real life, which makes the interpretation a tad bit difficult. I suppose we can approach it from two angles - where I know the person and us being strangers in reality.

"Dreaming of hugging a friend – If you dreamed of hugging some friend, that dream could indicate that your friend needs some help from you, especially if your friend was the one hugging you. If you hugged your friend in your dream, that dream could be revealing your current feelings of loneliness and isolation." - Dream Astro Meanings

Judging from the way the said person behaved in the dream, it was giving me the aura of someone else - a person whom I know. I'm not sure whether he needs my help because we've barely been in contact for a long time now, so maybe it's me who is subconsciously feeling the effects of self-isolation?

How about us being strangers in real life?

"Dreaming of hugging a stranger – If you had a dream about hugging some stranger, that dream often isn’t a good sign. It could indicate being gossiped about by someone. This dream asks you to pay attention to the people you trust or spend your time with. Sometimes, this dream could indicate some unexpected meeting with someone. Someone could make a surprising visit to you, such as a close friend or a relative. You might unexpectedly see someone in a place you hang around a lot." - Dream Astro Meanings

Considering the fact that I don't know the said person in real life, I suppose this dream is more like an advance warning to be on the lookout, but hey, who knows that it might be hinting at the second part whereby there is an unexpected meaning with someone?

"Dream about street light means awareness. You are experiencing a high level of stress. You are a team player and work well with others. The dream is about your unconscious mind and its suppressed content. There is an unexpected setback in your plans or goals." - Dreams'opedia

As for the streetlight, I'd say that there is some element of truth in this since the nature of my work borders will be a typical example of it.

The conclusion? Either I'm stressed and insecure in my daily life or just so uptight that my subconscious is trying to search for something to knock the stress out.