08/27/2019

I dreamt that I went to view a condo unit situated in one of the medium rise buildings in Brisbane. There was an initial roundtable discussion with the property agent and the person in charge from the management about the tenancy, such as the duration of my stay and any additional conditions attached to the agreement. Yet I couldn’t confirm about taking vacant possession of the unit as my would-be housemate would need to take a look at it to see if it suits him as well.

The condo unit was spacious with lots of natural light spilling into the area - a benefit of it being a corner unit. The kitchen had an open concept to it. On the right was the kitchen cabinet and the built-in appliances. To the left was the white dining table and another balcony that fronted a shorter building. There was a road separating this building and the neighboring structure. The walkway then extended to the living room and another balcony. On the left was an LCD TV with a set of three seater sofa facing each other. When I peeked my head out of the sliding door, I observed that this particular property also came with a sea view. What struck me as odd was the blue aura that I felt.

The waiting area outside the condo came with grey walls and grey tiles. There were three elevators facing five units. As we waited for the elevator, the neighbor at the other end of the row was about to enter his unit. He and his wife sounded like they were from Mainland China, judging from the Mandarin accent that they spoke in as well as the way they carried themselves. Next to the unit I viewed was a locked cabinet displaying a fire hose reel and portable fire extinguisher.

I initially wasn’t sure who or what the dream hinted at because I didn’t know head or tail, but after asking (someone) for his opinions, the pieces started to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. This is one of the dreams closely associated with my real life. My personal interpretation of this is that I’m subconsciously craving for a bachelorette pad that I can share with a close friend whom I can trust in a safe, reputable place. It’s rather close to another dream I had about sharing a unit with someone.

Dream-Meaning.net interprets this as To dream that you are hunting to rent a new apartment, suggest transitioning into a new phase in life. You are up for new emotional and financial adventures, perhaps a new job or relationship. If the dream features hunting for apartment with a significant other, it suggests that you are ready to move the relationship to the next level.'. Connecting it to the dream context, I wasn't in a relationship with the would-be housemate; rather, I was trying to reduce the financial costs by sharing a place with a close friend. Flowing from that, it's relatively accurate, considering what has happened so far with regards to a job. As to what constitutes a new phase in life, maybe it's the future me signing the tenancy and receiving the keys for a tastefully decorated semi-furnished residence in a place away from familiar faces.

Another angle has a darker explanation. DreamStop.com opines that 'Renting is a constant drain on resources, and is not a permanent residence. Therefore even if you dream about renting a very nice house, it still indicates that your life is not stable, or does not feel stable to you.”. Well, look at what showed up. This has hit a sore part of my life, but for reasons that I'm unwilling to share on a public domain.

Just a Little Update from the Weary Soul

Eek, I hadn’t realized that it has been weeks since I last blogged.

I guess that’s work does to you, especially when you’re in the service industry and completing tasks like how plates after plates of delicious food are served through the kitchen service window at a bustling restaurant. It also doesn’t help me that I’m pressed for time, seeing that I’m still clueless and finding my way around the office.

I’m drained by the time I returned from work.



I won’t entertain the idea of staying back in the office after hours for now. Maybe after I familiarized myself with the company practice will I consider working OT when there’s an urgency of documents and if I live nearby. I don’t want to be caught in the peak hour traffic congestion and arrive home an hour or two later.

At least being busy and on the go has kept my worries at bay . It forces my brain to focus on something else, which is the tasks that are associated with my job position. Believe me when I say that extreme worries don’t bode well for anyone as it sends you down the path of insomnia. The university student in me may fancy the late nights because there’s additional time to perfect my assignments. The working me dislikes it because it craves for as much rest as possible to start off the day in the right mood. I don’t want to rock up to work with a spoiled mood and on the verge of irritability. I’d also like to avoid the tendency of downing cups after cups of coffee and tannin to keep awake and forgetting to hydrate myself with water instead.

I’ve paid for this countless times before.

Yet nothing much has changed with my emotions.

I still harbor the longingness to withdraw from social interactions when I’m on my own and away from the workplace (although a close friend would rather have me not do that). I crave for the time alone to recuperate from all the peopling during the day. I still have no idea whether I’m an introvert or not, but my battery depletes faster than a reasonable person’s. You wouldn’t want to see me or speak to me when I’m running low on energy. As mentioned above, I’m irritable and walk in circles with annoyance at myself. I’ll cite a recent example; because of the sudden urgency to complete a task, I felt a growing dislike at myself for not being able to do it on time and about to tug at my hair. I’m also suppressing my own emotions with as much self control as I have in exchange for a fruitful period. I don’t like when there’s too much free time. I prefer it when I’ve assigned tasks after tasks to finish. It permits time to fly faster through the cracks of my fingers.

08/20/19

And so, it shows that I haven’t been active on the blogosphere for some time now. I can’t even remember when my last update was.

I’ve not disappointed without a reason, though. Life took precedence once again with me focusing on my current position. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it, but I’ve managed to secure a job related to the field that I studied in. The amount of paperwork in my current position is enough to keep me busy to such a stage where I’m working through lunch. I know that it’s not the healthiest option as lunch hour is there for a reason. It’s to provide employees with an hour’s break to refuel or to catch a breath.

Yet I love it; I’d rather swim in continuous stress in the workplace and fry my brains than to harbor feelings of boredom. There’s another reason; being nose deep in the paperwork allows me to lose myself in the tasks on hand. It’s dangerous because my brain can never rest. It’s forever checking off the work-related mental checklist. The effects of this is perilous. As if to make it worse, I’m suppressing my thoughts and emotions whenever I’m in public. It’s only when I’m alone, away from prying eyes and judgmental ears that it shows in my eyes. I know that it’ll worsen if I don’t do anything to resolve it.

It’s not that I don’t want to take precautionary or mitigatory steps. It’s more along the lines of not wanting anyone to know what I’m facing with. Ever since I’ve been kicked to the kerb after that critical period, it’s given rise to the feeling of abandonment. No one deserves to know what’s happening in my life or to me while life moves forward without me.

If I’m left alone to lick my wounds, then I shall be left alone, away from those judgmental ears.