Childhood Regrets - The Abridged Post

There are many things from my childhood that have crept up to haunt me with immense regrets; those things had the power to change my future with the simple turn of events and yet I took it for granted that it will all fall into place, never once stopping to appreciate its importance and its value to me.

Credits to Quotes Pictures.org for the image

Look at me now, so far away from her original route with mistakes permanently erected in one’s memory. Okay, it was while we were having a chat in Pearl Point one evening with Mama Carrie in presence about the past, present and future that I was reminded of my own childhood.

“From what I can see, you are suited to live abroad (where you won’t feel so agonized)”

If I hadn’t been financially forced to leave that place full of memory laxatives, I’d have stayed on and joined the route to permanent residency half a year and lead a wholly different life, sacrificing my past for a better future today. It was much easier back then with fewer requirements but as more and more people are permanently flying out, the Immigration Department has tightened the rules and regulations, making it even harder to be a PR there.

Memory laxatives were the one that kept my spirits high, optimistic about the future, it just came with the change of environment but it has its price when it came to friendships (read on, scroll down). If I hadn’t been forced to study the subjects that I now hate with a vengeance, life would have been easier to comprehend with dreams of the future coming to reality. I can feel that I’ve changed into a different person, two split personalities: I’m the smiley face in the eyes of others but hidden from public view is the pessimist with a worried mind that runs like the ocean waves, not confident to fight for her dreams and locking away her deepest fears and worries.

"You don't have the never-say-die attitude that your late uncle possesses."

Friendships. What does it mean to you?

In continuation from this post, I’m more than glad to admit that it was of my negligence and ignorance for not keeping in constant touch with my childhood friends, but what do you want out of me? Back then, it was nothing but handwritten letters and emails, no such thing as the social networking sites that we have today.

Credits to Quotes Pictures.org for the image

The regret is that if I had kept everyone’s correspondence addresses, it would have made such an impact. The friendships with the boys (Jeremy, Ginaesan, Charles, Ryan, Adrian the well-built prefect, Darren the skinny prefect; the list goes on and on) and the girls (Sue Mae, Stephanie, Samantha the Sunday School mate, Hui Yee, Merlin, (Alicia) Anne; the list goes on and on) would have continued right up to this day, right up to our college/university years.

But still, I’m grateful that I’ve found a handful of them (Inez, Angeline, Kar Wyai, Chyrene, Michelle, Latha; the list goes on) who still remember me on Facebook and have learnt my lesson to keep in touch with them.

I shall leave you with this video; the lyrics really hit the core of this topic.

田馥甄 - 寂寞寂寞就好 (HQ 官方版MV)

"我寂寞寂寞就好 這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了 想到快瘋掉"

心理能难受 the fact; 我对你这是最陌生的朋友。
在你最需要一个 listening ear, 我默默听你诉苦； 你又不再在我低落的时候。

如果我选者默默离开,你会发觉到吗?

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

The Ssspecial Day

The Crossroad Friendships

Note: this is a scheduled post.



The more I come to think of it, the more I’d like to run off to the windy Wellington and forget everything that has happened here. Maybe he’s right; I will be as sunny and bright as the sun when I’m there (not specifically Wells; it can be some other place, I hope), spreading my infectious laughs to everyone.

But we’ll see whether it holds weight when I’ve permanently departed this place. Nothing’s been confirmed rock solid yet, but after with what I went through with Papa Carrie, I’m unsure if I’d want to inform the world (all of my friends, I mean) of the news as it might not make a difference after all, especially since not all of us are in constant talking terms. It’s not like a farewell meal will be specially organized for me with collages of pictures as memories/remembrances, that I can bet you. I know that if I were to silently slip out, certain parties will come to learn of it and tell me that if I had let them known in advance that I was leaving for good, we could all gather together for that one final meal. Right, as if my presence here matters.

As of now, it feels the same whether I’m in or out.



Now, sometimes I really wonder if I’m still the same person, especially since after I’ve been dealt too many worries and mistakes to deal with as a result of playing with the wrong deck of cards – in life. But it’s rather true; I was more lackadaisical back then, not caring about the future and living each day for what it’s worth. I’m now like a fish, barely staying afloat in the sea as I’ve too much running in my mind, my heart and fighting a battle with no sign of victory in the near distance but I can’t surrender my deck of cards as I’ve failed way too many times in the eyes of my parents.

But, yeah, since he doesn’t remember me, doesn’t remember that we once shared the same neighborhood as youngsters, I’m letting it slide off the surface even though Mama Carrie’s sure that he’s to remember this fact.

All I want him to do is to leave me alone if his memory of me has finally been invoked by something; it could be an aged photograph or even at the mention of our former neighborhood, which is now literally congested with nothing but residential properties. Just treat it as the friends in us have now turned into familiar strangers. I know it carries acidity in it, but there’s a chance that when I’ve left the building that I will never remember him at all, just like that time in Auckland when I had inadvertently forgotten everyone here.

Hear Our Prayer - Yuki Kajiura

A Partial Dream

.... I had thrown myself in the bathroom when I heard footsteps approaching the bedroom, fearing for the worst but when it was a known associate frantically searching for me, I reentered my bedroom and followed her out.

I was stunned to my core when I saw our mutual friend being held at gunpoint and being threatened that she’d be strangled to death if we didn’t submit to the abductor’s demands.

Because fear was heavy in the air, my whole body had been taken over in numbness when I woke up to the dark room but for a small lamp.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and returned to my sleep.

Clearance, clearance - Pt. 6

Selling: RM100 (w/o the baby basket)
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: will no longer be using it and instead of leaving it as a white elephant, I figured that it will be more useful under someone else's hands.



Selling: RM 100
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: will no longer be using it and instead of leaving it as a white elephant, I figured that it will be more useful under someone else's hands.



Selling: RM 150
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: will no longer be using it and instead of leaving it as a white elephant, I figured that it will be more useful under someone else's hands.

P.S. I'm afraid courier is not an option here; it will cost a lot on both sides.

Yuki Kajiura - A song of storm and fire [HQ]

《新天生一對》正式溫馨版預告發布

Oh, when can this movie be screened in the local cinemas?

Just because Xiao Xiao Bing is still a child doesn't mean that he's not good in his work; he's really a good actor, even at such a young, tender age.

If he can make the cast and crew shed tears during the filming of the scene between his character and his character's biological father, I don't see how the movie audience/critics would be able to stop themselves from shedding tears.

Watch the trailer below. You'll know what I mean.



Even though the last resort would have to be getting my hands on the DVD and watching it with a couple of my friends at our place, I'd still prefer to watch it in the cinema.

Clearance, clearance - Pt. 5

Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the law trade



Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the sales and marketing trade



Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the sales and marketing trade



Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the sales and marketing trade

Clearance, clearance - Pt. 4

Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the accounting/auditing trade



Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the law trade



Selling: RM 15
Condition: well-maintained, only used twice
Reason(s) for selling: have a bigger one at home



Selling: RM 7
Condition: well-maintained
Reason(s) for selling: won't be using it, not in the sales and marketing trade

A Time-Out

It was last Wednesday that Chrissy and I swung by GSC 1U to watch a movie and since we caught the 11.15 am screening on time, ‘Dark Shadows’ was agreed upon; it eventually turned out to be the best choice that we made as we debated on either ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ or ‘Dark Shadows’.

Credits to Dark Shadows (film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for the image

Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the lead male character blew me away; most of his scenes varied from emotional to hilarious (especially that part when he mentioned, "that is the ugliest woman I have seen," not knowing that Alice Cooper's a rocker), but he was not revengeful and willing to defend his surviving descendants and loved ones at all costs.

He flawlessly and perfectly executed the character, not only with his body language but with his verbal speech (he spoke British English when, in reality, he’s an American) as well.

Eva Green’s portrayal of the lead female character took my breath away; she really threw herself into her character as the sexy, mean and ruthless business-minded woman who wanted the lead character to herself and when that failed, she ruined him in more ways than one or so she had thought and eventually paid the price for all of it.

That’s all I’m going to spill; I don’t want to ruin the suspense for those who’ve not been able to catch the movie just yet but let me tell you, some of the scenes really made me blow with laughter.

Shamelessly taken with credits from Chrissy's blog

And our movie was followed by lunch in Opika at the LG floor of 1U - same floor as Hokkaido Ice-Cream, Kwong Woh Tong and MooCow. It was our maiden visit there; the carbohydrate addict in me ordered the pasta dish while my dear friend ordered the brown rice and it was lovely!