Save me, I'm trapped in a vile world

I’m not sure if I’ve conferred myself with a death sentence through the courses of choice. It doesn’t make sense when I reflect on my decision. The workload is about the same as last year, so why in the hell does it feel like there’s more?

And certainly, why do I feel like I’m sliding down instead of slowly hiking the gradient?

At the time of this post, I’m severely drained at the significant lack of adequate rest, which gave rise to a sudden bout of common cold. I had to skip two morning lectures to catch up on sleep and I don’t think I’ve fully recovered just yet. It’s the first time that the cold’s crept up on me. I usually am able to gauge when I’m about to crumble under the weather.

You could say that it’s of my own doing that I landed in this pile of mess. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not pulling all-nighters ever since sophomore year started, but I’ve been waking up in the wee hours of the morning – either after being suffocated by the content of my dreams or for no reason at all. For someone who’s nocturnal, it’s not a good omen. I’ll be a walking zombie in the morning and I hate relying on caffeine to throw the psyche awake.

Furthermore, I like to keep myself on the go so that I can complete the necessary errands and not think about random crap. I realized that if I allow myself to sit back and think, the emotions will roll with my thoughts. It’s bad because I’ll want to push people – yes, close friends included – away.

Yup, crazy thought of mine.

The first week of university started off alright, but that’s because the lectures contained the introductory content into the courses. Take Equity for an example: it was a brief introduction into its history and how it became what it is today. I know that not many of my readers are acquainted or even fans of history, so I shall spare you guys from the details.

It’s only Week 3 and the workload’s already messing with my head. I actually don’t mind the readings (or even the tutorial questions) at all… because it’s an opportunity for me to absorb more information and practice it without having the scores discounted from me. It’s just that I can’t handle doing thrice the work on a daily basis. The amount of work to be done for Equity and Criminal Law is pretty indescribable; it’s rather heavy, if you’re not cautious or even time conscious.

And I guess I’m one of those who works best after midnight. Once I start working on my assignments or academic-related matters, it goes on for at least three hours and that’ll mean sleeping at about 2 am. Weigh that with waking up at 7 am daily, it’s only a matter of time before I am drowning with health issues again – since homo sapiens are required to have a minimum of 6 hours of sleep nightly.