Now that the year is drawing to a close, I'm somewhat relieved that I have a bit of breathing space to clear the backlog that has accumulated in my paperwork. This is the result of being a newbie and having to waddle my way through unfamiliar territories. It's still familiar in some ways, but not for the most part.
I don't know; at least my work life has some positive aspects attached to it - unlike my personal life and emotions, which are still in the mud. All I desire now is to throw myself into work as much as I can - even if it means a nervous breakdown or burnout. Exhaustion is thick in the air with me wanting to ignore everyone and plug out the phone line from its socket.
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| A shop selling teddy bears in Sunway Pyramid |
The lunch hour is there for a reason yet I’m continuously against the idea of catching a meal outdoors and have a change of environment. I’m working through the lunch hour most of the time - unless I’m confident that the paperwork doesn’t warrant enough urgency for me to do that. It’d mean that I’m working for straight hours and nursing frequent headaches at the end of the day without the valuable break while toying with the idea of popping Panadol tablets.
In an attempt to keep the stress at bay, I decided to throw everything to the backburner and window-shop at my favorite stores. Yeah, I know it’s the season of giving and I should treat myself, but I still won’t. I’d rather hide under the blanket and sleep through day and night to allow my exhausted soul to recuperate. The irony is that I know what has caused my soul to feel this way but I haven’t taken steps to deal with it.
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| Hari Raya Celebration at Sunway Pyramid |
So, maybe it’s the period where I should learn to relax and take a chill pill - instead of being frazzled and walking on a thin line while resembling someone about to crash and burn.
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