09/27/18

And so, it was after weeks of arrangement and a sudden clash of schedules that we were able to hang out - me and the good friend. I brought him to a place that I figured would compliment his palate since he’s a fan of Asian cuisine instead of one of our usual joints.

We managed to find a seat even though the place was packed with starving lunch hour diners. I killed two birds with one stone and handed his gift bag to him while waiting for our meals to be delivered. It contained both his birthday and farewell presents (he’s not going anywhere; I am). As expected, it was accompanied by a handwritten letter that was separately given. I should’ve seen it coming the moment the conversation fell into silence and the impact that it had on him. I zoned out, allowing him the moment to have a cursory glance of the letter or read the content. He was quieter than usual as he folded the letter along its creases. It wasn’t until our gazes met that alarm bells rang in my head - he’s never behaved in this manner in the course of our friendship, which left a cold hand on my spine because I didn’t know what to do.

I did the only thing that I thought of. That one innocent gesture that earned me awkwardness and a piercing stares from someone when I was at the receiving end. I comforted him with a side hug twice; seeing him in this state left me with a sour feeling as he’s been a good friend to me in our law school journey. To change the mood of the conversation, we talked about safe topics - one which I knew he has a voracious interest in.

It was a good hangout, alright. As we spent the lunch hour together, his mood slowly but surely recovered. I don’t know if it was me, but I thought I detected a wave of exhaustion in his eyes - like he wanted to throw in the towel. We managed to update each other with the current twists and turns of our lives, careful to omit some content on our parts.

I’m breaking out in cold sweat even as I think about what would happen when those two really keep to their word and see me off at the airport. In my years of solo travel, I never fancied friends to bid their adieus at the airport - for the fear of tearing our eyes out. Flying with red, swollen eyes ain’t fun because of the pressure and dehydration.

A week later, my criminal law friend and I met up for lunch at the same time for an overdue catch up. The last we properly caught up was sometime last semester, lol. There was an exchange of gift - and I know I ruined the surprise for him when I told him the content of it, but I figured it was the best, especially if he intended to bring it back to his home country. Transporting glasses are already a pain in the neck - what more alcohol? My breath caught in my throat when he handed mine - two of them, actually. I hadn’t expected him to make an effort to get a birthday/farewell gift for me. Not many friends know me that well to buy presents because they didn’t want to risk getting the wrong item. Furthermore, I’m comfortable with gifting friends for birthdays and farewells because I have a mental list of safe items for each person. It would have cost him quite a bit to purchase them (because as far as I could tell, they weren’t bought in Adelaide).

At least meeting up with them took the edge off from a stressful semester. Keeping appearances when you are in the sour mood ain't fun, but that was how I was for 3/4 of the semester.