10/17/18

I dreamt that a fashion event was held in an abandoned building. If I hadn’t known about its history, I wouldn’t have known that it was once unoccupied for a long time. It was as if the management ensured that they went to extreme lengths to remove all traces of its past - including its decorations.

There was a registration table on the ground floor, but it was hidden from public view. It was in a little room that was at the back of the building. There was an elevator close to the entrance to the room. It required someone familiar with the building layout to know where it was. As we walked towards the room, I noticed that the wall art was similar to the one that an acquaintance used for her house. After we collected our name tags from the person in charge, we were guided to the location hosting the event that we registered for.

It was a beautifully decorated third floor. There was a chair outside the elevator - for reasons that I don’t know. Accompanying the chair was a side table with a window on top of it. The side table had a vase of flowers as a decorative piece. The events were divided by rooms and floors - it was a large event with different segments to it. The fees that we paid also differed in that regard. The more events we attended, the higher fees that we needed to pay. The one that we registered for was held in a medium-sized and brightly lit room. The stage was decorated with white curtains with a couple of tables scattered across the place.

Interpretation

The emotions that I picked up from the abandoned building bordered on loneliness - even though the management removed all traces of its past. With regards to this, MetroEve.com suggested that the following: ‘To dream of an abandoned house represents belief systems, ways of living, or relationships that have been discarded. It may also reflect abandoned ideas or a future you planned for yourself and gave up on. Decisions or lifestyle choices you are aware of yourself having purposely given up.’ This is true; I’m living on a shaky bedrock. I know the future that I’ll have would differ from the one I planned for myself after high school. Life’s cruel stroke, I guess.

Maybe the hidden room connotes a self of me that I’ve hidden from the rest of the world - including those closest to me. I’m like an onion. When you think you have gotten to the core, there are more layers to be peeled, revealing something different about me. According to MetroEve.com, the dream most likely is trying to remind me that I have more potential than I am willing to let on. Furthermore, it might be a reminder to return to something that I have placed on the backburner. This reminds me of a story that I’m trying to write in the free time that I have. It’s a hard task - because whatever free time I have, I want to spend it on myself not doing anything but sleep. The fact that I have dreamt of an elevator signifies 'an awareness that a choice will be better or worse with ease once I make the choice.' Is this hinting at my desire to return home and the dilemma I faced in making that decision? I won't deny that there are pros and cons to the decision.

The thing that caught my attention in the dream was the vase of flowers because it came straight out of a movie scene. DreamBible.com opines that dreaming of flowers means that I’ve noticed something nice or gorgeous and appreciating those around me. That’s the positive aspect of it. The negative side would be me being a narcissist and vain, but the one that strikes a chord with me is ‘dwelling too much on how good your life used to be before something bad happened’. Because I made the decision to pursue my studies abroad, I had a different life. I’d say it was more stable than the one I’m having now. And I was definitely less moody.

As for the chair, it means that I’ve made a decision and would not be swayed by the opinion of others. It might even mean that I’ve had enough of the unequal treatment I’ve received over the years and my intention to make it a level playing field while giving those people a taste of their own medicine.

Here’s the interesting part. The color white. In the dream, everything from the decorations to the wall was in white, leaving everyone in peace and in admiration. I’m not sure if this means I’ve dragged myself through the deeper levels of hell that I need some peace to balance things out. On one hand, it does feel that I’m bearing grudges and angst in my heart but am doing my best to mask those feelings. I don’t know why, but there is a part of me which feels that the consequences of my decisions would only bring hurt to those around me. Also there is a fear that I won’t be the perfect person that I want to be.

As for the stage, I’d have to agree with the interpretation that there is ’a heightened sense of pressure to succeed or perform well under pressure'. These last couple of years have caused me to live in a pressure cooker for most of the time. Don’t even remind me of my anxiety levels when I catch myself thinking about my readiness to graduate and be financially independent. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, but I’ve no idea whether I can cope with the stressful environment of my chosen path. There is some truth to this. Although I was comfortable with being one of the presenters, I felt that I could’ve done better. It would have been easier to have held the paper in my hand and speak instead of letting it rest on my thighs - but I just couldn’t. When I tried to hold the paper up, my hand started to shake.