11/3/2017

This is the second time that I’ve dreamt of pelicans. Although it is in a different location with a slightly varying context, I’m sensing that there is an occurring theme as well. The timing is also … too accurate - almost a year to this day, to be exact. As always, there was much more information in the dream, but I could only remember some of it due to sleep deprivation and exam revision.

I dreamt that I was leaning against a wooden bridge that connected the mainland to somewhere in the middle of the sea. My peripheral vision did not allow me to see where the bridge ended. As I allowed my thoughts to drift away, I noticed 3 pelicans waiting at the riverbank before another 3 swam over to join them. I remember feeling peaceful and relaxed at seeing this occurrence.

The online interpretation suggested sacrifice, charity, and nurturance. I’m not sure if it’s a 100% applicable, but certain elements of it seem to be. It does sound like I’ve sacrificed something without being aware of it, though. If I were to reflect on the past semester, the only thing that I have sacrificed is social time.

If we are also to discuss about nurturance, then the dream makes full sense. I was fully aware that things weren’t rosy as it seemed. A part of me feels like I need some nurturing, especially after what has transpired. It has made me question myself if this is the right choice and whether I should still follow the path. Or whether a divergent path would prove to be much more successful?

In addition, it might serve as a reminder to trust in the process and not to panic at the way things have turned out. When I first read this interpretation, I wanted to burst out laughing because that’s what I’ve not done. Although I know that I should have faith on what is to come, I’ve successfully scared myself with the prospects of next semester instead. I’m sure that I’ll be crazy soon at the rate I’m going.

I’ve forced myself not to blame myself if I don’t get the desired score because there are variables that led to such a result, but it is hard to trust blindly in the process and see the positive side of things.

On a more realistic view, it might also mean that I have a lot of errands to tick off my to-do list as well as carrying a lot of baggage. A wave of anxiety would always envelope me whenever it is the exam season because I have to tick off the list of revision methods. I feel that there’s too many things to do with little time to spare before it’s time to face the papers.

As for carrying a lot of baggage, I wonder if the interpretation refers to both the physical and emotional ones. Based on the reasonable person’s understanding of the term, I’d say that it’s probably hinting at the emotional baggage. Ah, this one is a bit arduous to write about - because I thought that I’ve buried it. Everyone has their own load of emotional baggage that they choose to speak of or keep secret about - it’s understandable.

I just don’t want to talk about it in public.