Mixture of emotions and life

I dreamt that it was our group’s turn to present to the lecturer and our peers. Instead of the whole tutorial speaking, the two of us were appointed to present our findings to the class and run the show on our own.

We decided to test the raw footage in the meeting room to see if there were any last-minute edits that were needed. There was a row of couches in front of a projector screen and recliners behind. It was devoid of any decorations, but what struck me was the smell of the room. Although it wasn’t offensive, it was pungent and musty - as if the windows weren’t open for a long time. Once we were satisfied that the video was perfect, we headed to the presentation room.

The presentation room was scattered with the batch of students from Evidence, but in a darker place than our lecture theatre. Yet we found ourselves dealing with technical difficulties - even though we tried it with two different computers.

The footage was alright on the computers, but when it came to the actual presentation, it was as if the footage was possessed. Not only was the one on the projector screen being affected, even the one on my Mac was showing signs of rebelling. There was white noise and the words were scrunched up. I stopped the recording while the two of us tried to resolve it without allowing the panic and embarrassment leak onto our faces.

The lecturer entered the room and asked if everything was okay after he saw the reaction from the audience and our panicked body language. I sad that the technology crashed on us for no reason - although we tried it in two different places.

My teammate threw in the towel minutes after a couple of minutes and spoke to the lecturer about starting afresh or coming to a compromise. I apologized to the audience about the sudden change of events.

Okay. This is one of the most realistic dreams I’ve had - because it’s a reflection of what recently transpired. The fact that the computers in the presentation room and the raw footage malfunctioned would be indicative that something in me is exhausted and not working at its best. That’s what the dream interpretation said - ‘You feel as though you can't seem to connect, can't reach him or her, that you keep losing touch. You can't reach someone on an emotional level, or feel that something in your body is not working properly.’

As for the weird smell in the presentation room, since ‘smell is the sense most closely associated with emotional memory — just think about how evocative certain scents can be — and the one most closely tied to mental health and happiness.’ Based on this alone, is it safe to say that my mental health has crashed from the pressure of dealing with a million things? Am I losing traces of happiness and descending straight into that black hole?

Since I had a dream about the lecturer, it has a positive and negative interpretation to it. The positive side is that I’ve a breakthrough to the mess that I now face. The negative aspect is the ‘embarrassing truths or feeling the reality of a situation telling you what to do. Coming to scary or unpleasant conclusions that you realize are true. Feeling terrified that you have to do something differently than you currently are.' If that is the case, it means the line between black and white has been blurred.

The lecturer teaching the course in the dream is a reflection of reality because in my waking life, it is exactly that. I’m not sure if it’s the bi-annual academic anxiety dream or a mixture of the academic pressure and my exhausted brain.