Thursday, February 20, 2020

Left Alone


Dark thoughts that swirl in my mind,
They suffocate me with unseen hands.
The weight of it is heavier than an anchor.
I’m flailing my hands for help.

The persistence to fight the tough road,
It is being bled from my bones.
My body is losing its strength,
Drip by drip, minute after minute.

Specks of happier memories,
They rise from the ashes before me.
Bits and pieces in mixed fashion,
They console my exhausted heart.

Clouds of cold embraces me,
Soothing my tired soul.
It convinces my fatigued brain
That it is okay to let go.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

02/18/2020


Sleep is where I find the desirable peace,
Away from earthly burdens and mental torture.
Free from the control of others,
It is an area where I am myself.

Shoulders are burdened with unspoken pain.
A light burnt by agony,
Buried by piles of sadness.
My head is bent forward with a curved spine.

My eyes are trained on the floor,
Never maintaining a gaze with anyone.
Fear swims in my veins,
Chaining me in shackles.

Responsibilities weigh me down like a boulder,
Knocking my confidence off to its lowest.
Dark clouds hang above me like a sign,
Held together by an invisible draining piece of rope.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

02/09/2020

What more can I say?

Clients and callers are surprised that I hadn’t taken a longer break for Chinese New Year. I mean, I could have if I wanted to. I was even given the permission to do so, but what’s the point of doing so when I’ll be greeted by an increased workload?

After all, I’m accruing my annual leave for emergency situations or for flights that I want to catch. Or maybe I love working too much.



Now that I’ve another job scope added to my position, there’s not much time left for me to be thinking about breaks anyway. I’d rather focus on completing what is before me and get the workload reduced to a bare minimum - even if it means shortening the time spent on lunch. I’ve gone to such extent of working while eating lunch - and we both know the result of that if done frequently. Even if it means running the risk of falling under the weather and going off on a sick leave. I know what you’re thinking. What’s the point of pushing myself beyond the edge and being ill as a result of the stress? The only answer I can give you is that I don’t have to spend an extra amount of time after I’ve recovered to catch up. One thing’s for sure; as long as I’m able to move around, there’s a chance I won’t take a day off unless I’m sick and glued to the bed.

Yet it drains me and makes me look more exhausted than I’m letting on. But it’s still better for me to force myself to complete all the paperwork without reaching out for help. At least it doesn’t give anyone - or even myself - something bad to critique on.

What more can I say?

When my personal life threatens to encroach into my work life, there’s only so much that I can do to stop both aspects of my life from mixing with each other. I’m someone who wouldn’t mind having the perfect work-life balance, but there are times when it will be shattered by a file’s urgency - or worse when rude, sarcastic people are getting on my nerves. Maybe my subconscious is correct on this: something must’ve happened for me to be easily irritated by petty matters. A part of me is also aware that something’s changed too.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

2/5/2020



Her eyes are trained at the scenery before her.
Sipping on her latte,
Reminiscence flood her brain.
Memories of when life was lighter than a stone.

The tables of customers flood the area,
Bringing with them conversations that float.
Their laughter permeate the air
Yet it serves a painful reminder of what once was.

Her heart aches with misery,
As tears threaten to break from its dam.
Nostalgia tugs at her,
Convincing her to be herself.

Her coffee warms her cold soul,
Shattering the ice in her heart.
Her bone-chilling pain swim in her veins,
Taking away its weight.

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Love Says Everything


Photo by unsplash-logoMaddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

Nestled under his arm,
Love dances in her eyes.
His warmth,
A source of protection for her.

Squished in his embrace,
Her vulnerability fills the ambience.
Security envelopes the air.
He reads her like a mirror.

One look into her optic nerve reveals all,
The sadness bleeding her courage.
The anger draining her optimism.
The happiness radiating like the sun.

His heart reaches out to hers,
Desiring to shield her from harm’s way.
Wiping the silent tears rolling down her cheeks,
He strives to paint a smile on her face.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Save Me, The Dilemma



The wind being her only companion,
Amidst the good, the bad and the ugly in her life.
People are minding their own business,
In the direction of their planned destinations,
Unaware of the life-changing moment up above.

Her body drained from fighting,
All hope being bled from her bones.
She stares at the distance below her,
Feeling the weight of the world yanking her down
And into a different dimension.

The longiness of departure swimming in her eyes,
Amplified by the pulling of an anchor in her heart.
Her shoulders are burdened by her invisible struggles,
The ones that nobody understands.
The ones that sow the seeds of displeasure.

Bittersweet memories of the past flash before her,
The happy days, the angry tears, the sad hours,
Convincing that she was worth yet another chance.
She was worthy of living,
Of being here.

Tears roll down her cheeks,
Knowing the hurt and disappointment in his eyes
Upon hearing the news of her premature departure.
Her feet frozen on the cold pavement,
Unable to make a decision to step off or to stay.

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Memory's Little Moments














Credit to Thought Catalog for the image

One look into her eyes reveals it all,
What her soul feels.
Like hands pressing on a dough,
Slicing her airway.

He envelopes her with a cloud of love,
Showering her with feelings of safety.
Her eyes softens into crinkles of happiness.
The anchor in her heart finally breaking free.

His patience and fondness work their magic,
Slowly chipping at her emotional walls
To reveal the true essence of her.
The girl she desperately hid from the world.

Buried beneath her facade,
A scarred girl fearful of giving her heart away.
Someone fleeing to protect herself,
Her fears hot at her heels.

She views everyone with an eye of suspicion.
She trusts no one but herself,
Keeping a distance from everyone
And those who come close to her.

He welcomes her into an embrace,
Soothing her anxieties.
Desiring to protect her from harm’s way,
He craves for her to be who she is.
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