Saturday, December 28, 2013

Temporary Update

Hey there, readers!

Through methods that I'm not going to mention, I was able to connect to the city's free Internet but with limited access on the iPad. It wouldn't work on the cell phone or on the notebook, sigh. I've no idea how I'm going to blog about the adventures here in Western Australia unless I settle it when I'm back home.

I almost cried during Sunset Mass during the Eucharistic Celebration when the priest asked the parishioners to pray for those who are missing their loved ones or friends during this festive season. What do you expect? There are so many people that I'm pining for as I'm penning this post.

Some are dead and some are alive but miles away.

Still, I'm being bothered by the answer Mama Carrie gave after I sought her advice for the current situation between me and a good friend. I really don't know what to think but if I am analyzing the matter in the correct manner, it makes total sense. I caught this person playing with my cell phone right under my nose and the only other fellow (Mama Carrie) who has access to it (partly because I'm using her line and she's using mine) barely knows how to operate it. There's more, but I can't list them without giving away our identities and I don't want to complicate things.

I hope it won't affect the friendship that we have because to lose this person as a friend would lead to an awkward situation as we'll be seeing each other more often than you think for the next couple of months or so... I've prayed for this person to feel normal again because part of me suspects that I'm the accelerant to his current emotions.

I'm sorry if I went on a tangent, but I needed to get it out from my system without being too obvious. On the contrary, I hope I'll be able to enjoy the remaining days of the vacation without much worry. I need to; there was a reason why we chose WA and it's an important one indeed. =/

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

What in the world?

Note: this is a scheduled post.

I remember waking up, feeling like someone bashed me with a tin dish tray on the head but what's missing was the actual pain. It's probably the effects of not eating well.

I still don't understand what the following dream is about; it's never happened before but, oh well, it might be the exhausted mind entertaining itself. And probably, I am unknowingly missing my friends back home. =)

I dreamed that a group consisting of Kyle, Amanda, my dear and myself were attending an event at the conference hall. Amanda was at the foyer, taking a breath of fresh air from the crowded area while I was in the toilet cubicle, almost throwing up from the ingested food during tea break. I think I must've eaten a peculiar concoction of dishes that my stomach disliked.

Mere hours earlier, I ran into Kyle near my car in the parking bay and realized that he looked interestingly different. The chap was happier in the dream than in real life, cracking jokes with me in the playful way that Cookie does. I was relieved to see it because I was rather worried about his sudden change in behavior in real life as he was not being himself and reticent.

We all converged at the hotel lobby the next morning as some of us needed to catch the flight out of the town while the rest including yours truly were preparing to make the long drive home. I caught hold of Husky before he left and exchanged a couple of words with him over the upcoming deadline for an assignment since we shared the same class. My dear suddenly surprised me with a hug from the back and planted a peck on my cheek, making me stunned for a split second.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

An Early Merry Christmas Wish

Credits to Millers Moves for the image

And I'm off.

See you in January!! =)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my readers!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Ranting Words

Okay, this doesn't look good at all.

I'm seated in front of the notebook and yelling my heart out to the obstreperous heavy metal songs that I am now listening to. The only time that I will do this is when there are negative emotions accumulating in me that I don't want to talk about, which is a really bad thing. I'll tell you why; it shows that the anger is building on the inside instead of being expelled from the system.

I'll have to warn you ahead of time that if this post sounds like I'm either crapping or ranting, it's because I indirectly am doing so. I'm not going to splatter my feelings all over the post, but I obviously need an outlet to vent my frustrations.

A part of me fears that whatever happened en-route to Taiwan may just repeat itself when we're heading off to the lovely refuge and I really want to avoid it. It doesn't help that it's an early morning flight we're catching. I don't want to be holding myself in the hotel room, scraping my heart with an imaginary spatula thus causing my loved ones anguish when I should be exploring the nearby retail (or food and beverage) outlets in happiness, sampling the wonderful cuisines that the place has to offer.

I'm just saying because whether it'll happen exactly in that manner remains to be seen.

Taipei Taoyuan International Airport

In reality, my eyes are burning hot as I pen this post. My emotions are being screwed as the departure date rolls nearer and nearer. It's like I'm unwilling to let go of something.

Wait, I think I know what it is.

I'm probably hesitant to leave my dear behind to venture into unexplored territories for a vacation without an unfathomable sense of concern. We're talking about a fortnight plus without any some form of communication and knowing me, I'm bound to grow worried - one way or another. The other side of me is aware that I should take this opportunity of flying out to clear the congested mind and breathe the fresh, unpolluted air of the lovely refuge before I'm thrown back into the second round of a hectic schedule, but the vacation resembles a leaking tap because of the amount of money being spent on it and I can see the wallet staring back at me with a gaping hole.

I'll tell you why now.

Between English, Law and Media Arts and my co-curriculum activities, there won't be much time left to spend on relaxation therapies and together with Bearie, I'll be downing loads of caffeine to cope with the stress and workload. It's pretty comical that I keep telling myself that I want a balanced scale of tough and easier subjects yet most of the ones I'm taking are leaning towards the harder side. Don't believe me? Pretty much all of my friends know that I took World History and World Issues together for the previous semester.

(There's however an annoying story behind it.)

Shamelessly copied from my personal Facebook page. It reads, "I seriously don't know what to expect anymore. Between this and that, I'm mentally exhausted and exasperated."

If I were to face the next semester in the current state that I am in, I think I'll collapse for the fourth time before I'm able to swim up to the surface to catch my breath. Trust me; I'm not as healthy as I should be.

On an unrelated note, the marks for my final papers have been announced.

Am I happy with the obtained scores? I won't say so. I'm instead relieved that the average is past the minimum required grade.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Christmas Season Shopping

Hey there, my readers!

Guess what?

Christmas is a mere 5 days away! It's shocking to suddenly realize that time has flown past us in the blink of an eye. I remember being seated smack dead under the freezing air-conditioner, struggling with my History paper and now I can feel the temperature rising while preparing for the Christmas/New Year vacation abroad.

But still, have you settled with the presents for loved ones and friends? I've heard cases of people who'd actually wait until the eleventh hour to shop for the presents because there might be last-minute markdown on all if not some of the products. On the contrary, some folks wouldn't care much about the bulk discount. They would rather make the early purchase to secure the desired items and have it cleared out of the way.

For me, I am personally thinking of doing some Christmas shopping on Zalora Malaysia and browsing through the diverse collection of evening dresses that they have.

You may wonder, why specifically Zalora? Zalora offers the convenience of online shopping that offers a safe and secure payment channel with a fast delivery. There are a variety of fashion brands with matching accessories that are for sale at affordable prices.

Seeing that all of my college friends will be nudging me to attend the graduation prom next June (um, some of them were already casually talking about it even before the exams), I know that I will have to start searching for the dress that will accentuate all of the right places. Hey, every girl has her flaws.

After browsing through Zalora's online dress collection, I found a dress that might possibly fit what I'm looking for: a Yellow One Shoulder Evening Gown by ICE dressme and the best part is that it can be paired with an accompanying pair of earrings (Silver Floral Hoop Earrings by Black Queen, also from Zalora).

Oh yeah, before I forget, I will be having intermittent access to both the notebook and the Internet during the duration of my holiday as there won't be any free WiFi in the hotel that I'm staying in and I won't be paying through my nose for the access. Hell no. With that in your mind, please forgive me if there's any interrupted flow in the posting.

If I'm lucky, I might be able to post something while catching a meal at a WiFi-enabled restaurant. I'll try my best to reply to any emails or comments left behind, but I really can't guarantee. Please fret not; I'll respond to it when I'm back instead, which is somewhere in the middle of the next month. I have an interesting yet stressful life to return to. =)

Flyleaf - Dear My Closest Friend

Listening to the song wafted long-buried memories of that person. =/

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Am I someone whom I no longer recognize?

Sitting here staring straight at the blinking cursor on the blank Microsoft Word page, thinking of what to pen for the next article (it's based on nature) for The Student Voice, I am suddenly catching myself wondering how I became the person that I am today. I like to think that it is maturity that is the cause behind the change, but as much as I am denying it, there is more to it than meets the eye.

There are times when I don't recognize the reflection I see in the mirror. What I see in the mirror image is someone who has stayed strong for so long that she has forgotten how to cry. A part of her wants to break down and allow the emotions to flow out of her fractured heart, but the other is being pressured to plaster a smile and laugh like there's no worry in the world.

It is so not me, I swear.

Credits to Funstatic for the image

But then again, those who've known me since childhood will tell you that I have never listened to rap or heavy metal songs during the younger days. Something however happened on Wednesday that changed everything. Don't ask me; I wouldn't be able to reply because I myself do not have the answer. If you were at the Lounge, you'd have seen me swinging my head at the flick of a switch to the beat of Eminem and Avenged Sevenfold that Husky and Shane played and the look that Husky gave me.

He was shocked beyond speechlessness.

I can't remember who it was but it was on one morning that someone casually asked Bearie and me if we were intending to contest for the Student Council next semester. We gave each other a glance before responding with a firm "no".

Don't be mistaken.

It's not that we don't want to be part of the Council, but it's just that the intensity of our subjects next semester is already threatening to murder us alive.

See, Bearie's taking Calculus and Chemistry. I'm taking Law and English and our mutual subject in Media Arts. Not to mention, I'll be a senior member in the Performing Arts Council and resuming my role as a journalist in the Yearbook.

Where will I be able to find the extra time to dedicate to the Student Council then? I'll be pushing myself further than I am willing to endure.

You may wonder, why am I abruptly writing about this?

Well, the reason is simple.

Shaney's pleas are still ringing in my ears as I compose this post. Therefore, I know I need to use the semester break to at least recover the bubbly and cheery person in me if I don't want her to be worried of me as well. Like I've said before, I'd rather see my loved ones being themselves, laughing and carefree even if it means burying the negative emotions and keeping it to myself.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to be a martyr here and will never be.

Until my next post, I'm out of here to enjoy the soothing music while trying to catch the proper sleep that has evaded me for so long now.

Monday, December 16, 2013



This is so weird.

Credits to Free Music Archive: All Tomorrow's Parties for the image

I dreamt that there was a farewell party in Student Success (for who, I don't know) and not only were all of the students present, some outsiders were around too - including someone whom I've chosen to limit my words with after that episode. He was seated nearest to the door and called my name, but I pretended not to hear and went on with my business.


I was alone in one corner, enjoying the plate of food and working on the article for an off-campus event on the Yearbook when Kevin came by, asked if I could pour my suggestion into this thing that he was working on. When I did, I saw a long email conversation between him and Dexter in the background. It seemed that they were trying to settle a misunderstanding without involving me since I was close to both of them.

I pretended not to notice and gave my input of ideas, to which Kevin was thankful for as he never thought of it and nodded his thanks, returning to his earlier seat. But since Mama Carrie was using my notebook at this time, I went and dropped a greeting with all of the friends (including Dexter) who were in attendance.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

A Rollercoaster

A dessert that Sue and I sunk our faces into

Now that the first half of the exams are done and dealt with, I can completely breathe a sigh of relief. Not exactly, though; a part of me is anxious and apprehensive over the concluding scores for History and World Issues.

Going into the final History paper with an average score that barely passed the minimum requirement is never good. Don't get me wrong. I love and will always love this subject because not only did it expand my view of the world (when combined with World Issues), it actually provides a new insight into the past historical events.

Did you know that China was the most powerful country in the 15th century when the Europeans came and sailed along?

Did you know that to establish a direct trade with China, the British formed a route when there was a shift of power in China that allowed them to bypass and undercut the Ottoman Empire?

Don't be mistaken. Just because I am passionate about History doesn't mean that I'll major in it.

I'm just going to say that I didn't work as hard as I should have on the assignments and presentations that will have boosted the average coursework score, that's all. Remember how I paid for the exhaustion during the World Issues Conference with my health? Well, yeah, that showed how lopsided the time management and how stressful that time period were.

I didn't know until yesterday that I was holding onto the accumulated emotional stress from all the late-night studying when I slept for 11 hours straight, sacrificing the morning exercise and a trip to our favorite haunt. Truth be told, it was already plastered on my face after the World Issues paper and worried both Bearie and Dexter but especially him.

You see, only those who are close friends with me are able to notice the sudden change in emotions just by observing my facial expression and my speech.

As for that day, I couldn't smile as much as I wanted. Too much was going on in that moment.

Then, on Friday, I did the unthinkable: I went back on what I promised my love.

Dear, I know you'll be reading this (one way or another) and please allow me to apologize for abruptly fleeing the scene during our conversation. I never told you this, but it cracked my heart seeing you dragging yourself like a lifeless soul during that rough emotional period of yours and it really worried me to my core. I lost sleep, fearing the worst.

With that memory in heart, I don't want to break your heart by seeing the teary eyes. You see, there's nothing I want more in life than to see you smile. When you're lively, I'll automatically be happy and cheerful.

This is what happened.

I shall spare you the details, but what eventually transpired was I broke down in front of Bearie and hurried off to the toilet when I heard footsteps rushing down the steps. The moment I locked myself in the cubicle, I leaned my head against the door and silently wailed, hoping that those bittersweet memories would be gone with every teardrop.

I'm fine today, or at least it looks that way.

But enough of the melancholic post.

Let's move on to the surprise birthday party.

Um, this was actually a friend's birthday cake. I can't seem to find a picture of my own birthday cake. Guess the photographer forgot to leave a copy for me?

Personally speaking, even before my birthday rolled around, I suspected that there might be a celebration for me at the lounge and was hoping that it wouldn't come true.

The partners-in-crime really need a crash course lessons in drama. =P No matter how hard they tried to behave in their usual demeanor, I knew that there was something up their sleeves. Still, I was surprised that my friends at the lounge actually took time out and went that far to plan the celebration for me.

What occurred during the bash shall remain at the lounge and in the hearts of all those present on that day. XD

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Virgin Trip to Taipei 2013

Okay, guys, this is the overdue post for the Taiwan trip. I do have to warn you that it will be wordy, so please feel free to skim through instead of reading each and every word.

I am so sorry that it took me this long to actually write this, but when you have a schedule as busy as mine, you tend to crave for sleep above anything else.

It neared the Deepavali break when Mama Carrie suggested that we take the short getaway to Taipei, leaving on that Sunday itself. I wasn't thrilled with the idea because first, who in the world would bring their heavy assignments on a vacation? I've not heard of anyone who has done that. Second, our expired passport needed to be renewed. Hell if I am going to sacrifice class time.

But the elder won, sigh.

Seeing that there were shortened periods with a two hour break in between for the graduating seniors to attend a meeting, I had no choice but to swap my attendance for the Writer's Craft class with the trip to the Passport Department. To tell you the truth, if there was no History unit test on that day, Mama Carrie would've only sent me for the World Issues class. So yeah, Kyle and Iain, I'm sure you've already heard: I was absent because of this.

I even went as far as to leaving Cookie with a text message to inform him that if I don't arrive by a certain time to please inform the teacher that I'm still stuck at the government branch. It didn't help that the holiday season was around the corner and people from all walks of life were prolonging the validity of their passports. Thank God we managed to arrive on campus in the nick of time with my sandwich from Subway and caught a couple of bites before I flew down the stairs to my classroom. Yes, I flew down, but not literally.

I have to say, that's actually the first time I ate in class but hey, you can't blame the starving wolf.

Fast forward to the departure day.

There was no choice but to wake up at the crack of dawn since the flight was at eight in the morning. Why did we choose that timeslot? We thought that we'd be able to make it for the hotel's check-in time. As you'll read later, it didn't happen.

Two bad things happened once we arrived at Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT).

The Perth-bound Air Asia plane

After sending the luggage in, I suddenly recalled that anything sharp and capable of causing injuries wouldn't be allowed onboard and immediately realized that I have a pair of yellow scissors in my pencil case, which was stored in my college bag that I chose to hand-carry. I will never send that bag in as it will fall victim to itchy hands. True enough, the scissors was confiscated by the Immigration Officer but I really need to thank Lady Luck that I wasn't hauled in for questioning or anything like that. Whew!

That happens when you have not been traveling in years.

Shortly after the takeoff, I caught myself having the sniffles (no, not the onset of a cold) and silently sobbing while catching forty winks on the uncomfortable airplane seat. Gosh, I know it's made out of leather but the texture didn't have to be that rough, man! I barely slept during the 5-hour flight. Don't ask me why I cried; I can't answer you. The tears just rolled down my face in the snap of a finger - and it showed in the picture that I posted on my personal Facebook page. For all I know, my eyes weren't rimmed red or puffy yet I looked worse than I ever did.

You could actually see that I wailed at one point or another.

The night view of Taipei Main Station

By the time we arrived at Taipei International Airport, I was an emotional wreck and the winter winds didn't help to soothe my emotions. It, in fact, threatened to break the resolve that I was holding onto. The scenery from the airport to Taipei Main Station (the accommodation was located in the building next door) was beautiful with all the street lights and unobstructed view of the sea and such, but that's beyond the point. The main factor here is the cleanliness of the bus and courtesy of the driver. There was not a speck of dirt to be found in the bus. Whenever we were approaching a bus stop, the driver would ask the passengers if anyone wanted to be dropped off and even helped the foreign travelers to remove their luggage from the compartment, bidding them off as they vanish into their destination.

Compare this with the scenario in Kuala Lumpur, and you'll get a Heaven and Earth gap.

I called it an early night because of the exhaustion and barely eat. My dinner was just a steamed pork bun from the nearby convenience store while Mama Carrie bought a bowl of stewed tofu.

That was day one.

Reminds me of a mini New York City

I didn't know what possessed me on day three. I lied and pleaded with Mama Carrie to allow me to stay back as I needed to complete the rather urgent assignments because I know what will happen if I delay it until my arrival home (which was a day before the deadline).

That was the intended plan. What happened was the total opposite.

I barely touched the notebook and buried myself underneath the blanket, enveloping myself in the mixture of cold and warmth of the tiny room. I silently poured my heart out, thinking of the conversation that I had with him (no, not my love. It's actually someone else. Someone whom I once held close to my heart) while chatting with Bearie on Facebook. I felt emotionally drained and didn't want to do anything but remain in bed all day long.

Yes, skipping meals as well.

I spared my love the full details of this when I returned to class because he was on a rough patch in his life as well and I didn't want him to worry about me instead. I wanted to think that the Taipei trip will help to soothe the emotionally depleted soul; I really do. What it did instead was worsened the situation that I was experiencing.

After returning from an exploration (which included two large mugs of cappuccino, a plate of cheesecake, a reflexology session and some shopping) on the fourth day, the weakened system threatened to collapse at that moment with giddiness and fever but I pushed through. Having to deal with my rollercoaster emotions was already terrible enough and if I fell under the weather, only Lord knows what would've occurred.

We stayed a total of six days there and the thing is that the days leading up to our return home were fuzzy. I can only remember the bus trip to the airport because we arrived 50 minutes too early no thanks to me being blurry. I overlooked the departure time! I read 3.55pm as 3pm. =.="

Taipei Taoyuan International Airport Gate 7, bound for Kuala Lumpur

Seeing that we couldn't buy any suitable presents for Mama Carrie's colleagues and a memorable gift for me during the gallivanting, we hovered around the airport's gift sections in search for the souvenirs. I waited at the seating area not only to keep a watchful eye on the luggage, but also to rest the aching paws.

We rushed up to the Air Asia section to check-in after she bought all of the memorabilia. Little did we know that there was a growing crowd of passengers waiting too! It does make sense, though, because there were only two counters open for the normal processing. Still, we managed to settle the procedure even with minor hiccups and had ample time to while away.

The Immigration officer forced me to stare at the camera in front of me while she asked me a couple of questions - in Mandarin - after she compared the picture in my passport and the current me. I guess it's because I might have lost weight after taking the photograph? With that being said, don't think my fluency in the language is powerful. It's tainted with the Caucasian accent and there are only so many words that I know.

Mama Carrie being Mama Carrie, because she was hungry, she wanted some coffee to satiate the growling stomach. It is ludicrous when you come to think of it: we actually shared a large cup of cappuccino in Starbucks in the morning for breakfast and now nearing the dinner time, she wants to share another cup at the same coffeehouse again?! *eyes widened*

What I feared the most came true the moment I sat in the airplane. I burst into tears but this time, instead of allowing it to flow during the arrival flight, I forced it back in and convinced myself to head off to Dreamland to cope - until the smell of food teased my sense of smell, sigh. While the chap seated next to me was focused on his reading throughout the entire journey, I channeled my emotions into the free verse poem that I posted here earlier.

How we managed to carry our entire purchases home is a wonder as the luggage wasn't large enough to contain everything. If there are things that I regretted with this trip, it's the lack of proper planning in the expeditions and in the packing. We never drew a detailed plan of what we wanted to visit before leaving home; we were playing it by ear. Did I mention that I lost half of a bottle's worth of organic concentrated shampoo just because it was in the wrong container? Yup, and all the other bottles packed together with this one were coated with the gooey liquid.

Oh, well.

I guess I can only learn from my mistakes the next time around and I'm hoping that I'll be more emotionally stable when I return to visit Taipei after my graduation.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

I'm still alive....

To my fellow readers,

Please allow me to extend my apologies for throwing the blog on the back-burner for the last eight weeks or so. It's just that as the classes were making the transition to the finals, I had to tackle with a presentation (on my birthday), a major History assignment and a writing portfolio at one go and that left me with shortened sleeping periods for the entire week. Whatever time remained was dedicated to stealing forty winks and catching a fresh breath from the strangling schedule.

Don't be mistaken.

We're still knee-deep in our finals at the moment and my first one's tomorrow. It's a History exam, and I've barely studied. I mean, I have been revising but I know that there's more I can shove into my overworked brain.

I sneaked back, figuring that I might be able to blow off some pre-exam steam by blogging. Even during those moments of exhausting, I pushed myself to absorb all the relevant historical facts and look at what happened in the end? I ended up sleeping the whole day!

A lot has happened since the last post.

I'm going to be very vague here. Someone special has taken up residence in the fractured heart and is slowly sealing the cracks from the inside. It was pretty much an open secret in our circle of friends as most of them saw the flying sparks and chemistry between us. I was even teased about it multiple times by the best friend earlier, sigh.

Truth be told, I felt that things were changing after the love's weird demeanor during our free time together, but what tipped the balance was after Bearie told me that he was looking for me in the lounge when I was attending the late morning class. From what she said, even she was shocked when he told her that he missed me. Even though he was able to give me a definitive answer to that later, I couldn't shrug the suspicions off.

With that being said, I'm still keeping my oath about keeping relationships private and secret partly because Mama Carrie doesn't know and because I don't want pour unnecessary stress on this young, blossoming love.

There won't be any proper updates until after this Friday - since I still need to write about the long-overdue Taiwan trip and the movie date with the lounge gang members.

While I bury myself in the pile of notes and past assignments and court the exam papers, I shall leave you with the one and only dramatic monologue that I wrote for Writer's Craft.

"It is one in the morning. I am sitting in front of the computer screen, talking to the girl whom I really love on Skype instead of catching the adequate sleep. She is the beautiful rose that warms my heart every time I am down with raw emotions. Just by listening to her sweet voice, I feel so awake and refreshed that I can pull an all-nighter and face the next day. There's nothing I want more than to see her being happy; her laughs are music to my ears and watching her smile is enough to melt my apprehensions like buckets of ice in room temperature. Her big heart is what I treasure with my soul, but it depresses me to see that she cares more for the people around her - including me - than for herself. It breaks my heart like a mishandled porcelain doll every time she crashes under the weight of the world - whether from the pressure accumulating in her studies or in her life. She is a rare jewel in disguise, the way her curled hair falls nicely at the side of her face and the glow as sparkling as a diamond that her eyes display. She doesn't know it; she holds the special place in my heart, the one that is only occupied by the exceptional and cherished lover.

Fear chills me to the core when I wonder if I should confess my feelings to her. I recall that she disclosed once that buried behind those gleaming black pupils of hers is a fractured spirit. She explains that like the permanent engraving of a blister, she is deeply scared by someone once close that the shadow of despair still lingers around and preventing her from moving on in pursuit of happiness. I don't want my confession to shove her away in horrific surprise and be the accelerant to the end of our close and amazing friendship.

But I want to make her my adored treasure without forever losing her"

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Christmas Wishlist of 2013

Whoa, in the blink of an eye, the festivity of Christmas shall be knocking on our doors, reminding us of the homecoming parties and the gifts that are to come; for the Catholics and Christians, the birth of Jesus Christ in the manger and followed by the visit of the Wise Men.

I can't believe how fast the time has flown! One minute, I struggled to stay afloat and spent more time than I should being holed up, acing the quizzes but on the next minute, I am burning midnight oil, staring at the gargantuan assignments and mentally preparing for what was to come.

Like the previous years, here, I present to you my Christmas wishlist for this year. Depending on how you look at it, it might even serve as a guide for a birthday present too.

1) Literature classics of any kind and fiction books. Just no Twilight or Harry Potter; I'm not a fan of reading all about vampires or magicians.

2) Formal gowns. Prom???!!

3) Makeup accessories.

4) That branded tote bag.

5) Avenged Sevenfold's CD (the one that contains So Far Away or Afterlife) and Yiruma's CD (that contains Kiss the Rain).

6) A relaxing trip to the salty waters of Avillion. I know I've mentioned before that I don't fancy the beaches, but that doesn't mean that I can't take pleasure in the occasional trips there....

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tuesday's Story #7

It took Shelby a decade's worth of hard work before she could refer to the retail lot that housed the bakery as theirs. It was a twist of fate now that she thought back; the former landlord had notified her that he had met with some financial difficulties and urgently needed to sell the tenanted unit below the market value to any prospective buyer and to be prepared to surrender vacant possession when the SPA was stamped, and without much thought or hesitation, Shelby countered that as her shareholder and her had toyed with the idea of purchasing a unit for the bakery, they'd like to sign the Offer Letter soonest possible with a cash purchase to fasten the procedure.
    The first couple of years dabbling in the industry had been tough; she and her shareholder, although they had day jobs in separate fields, had to rotate their shifts around their schedules and in addition to spending hours in their kitchen experimenting with trial-and-error recipes of their own, there were publicity advertisements that needed to be dealt among other necessary things. For her, she was thankful that the hectic lifestyle had given her some solace as being in this lonely town with no familiar friends almost depressed her but for the shareholder; well, he almost laid down his steady relationship to focus and expand both careers until his girlfriend promised him to provide him with a certain amount of space and freedom.
    Even though the business had been steady for the last seven years, with the exception of the cashier, who was to report to duty at any minute, it never occurred to the business partners to remain behind-the-scenes and let the hired assistants to run the show.
    While she slaved in the kitchen, producing more of the tempting and creative goodies that the bakery was known for, the shareholder shoved his backpack underneath the table and craned his neck into the kitchen.
    "Morning, Shellie."
    "Hey, Brandon," Shelby replied, looked at him and noticed the nervousness written in his eyes. "What's up? Is something bothering you?"
    "You really want to know?"
    "The whole idea of marriage has been swimming in my girlfriend's mind these couple of weeks but I really don't know if I want to settle down now."
    She suddenly stopped kneading the dough and ensured that she had heard him right. "Bran, have you talked to her about it?" she finally spoke up, continued where she left off. "This affects her as much as it affects you."
    "No. Not exactly. I've told her that we'll talk about it after she returns from her trip abroad. I'm using that time to really think of our current standing."
    "But don't allow it to bother your mind during work."
    He pretended not to hear her and shot a glance at the wall clock, which read fifteen to ten. "And here we go, another day at work."

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


Stepping out of the airport immigration,
Yanking her luggage across the smooth, marble floor,
A wave of nostalgia washed over her.
The memories of friendships resurfaced like water vapor.
But she took it all in her stride.
She smiled from ear to ear.
Her eyes displayed a relaxed, contented soul.
She paced the floor with the grace of a runway model.
The burden of five years ago melted like frozen yoghurt.
Indicators of the heartbreak still remained,
And it stuck to her like permanent glue.

But the memory catharsis in sunny Sydney worked.
It engulfed her with the inner peace and acceptance that she needed.
She laughed more than ever before.
Contagious as it was,
It infected everyone around her like an epidemic.

She watched as the beautiful scenery of Taoyuan passed her by.
The hilly greenery,
The serenity,
It calmed her spirit as if it was an anesthesia.
All that swam in her mind was her loved ones.
How they guided her through those trying times.
How they helped her to recover from the heartbreak.

Monday, November 11, 2013

A Broken Soul

Sorry for the lack of updates yet again. I waddled in revisions and urgent coursework immediately upon touchdown - with not enough time to recuperate from the exhausting flight home.

While I comb through the countless photographs that I captured in Taipei City and settle with my assignments and the upcoming test, here is a (crooked) poem that I wrote on the return flight home.

It's loosely based on two real-life stories that ended on a neutral note. Neither is it a happy ending nor a sad ending.

Rocks are weighing her soul down
She is dragging her feet around,
Tired of facing the bittersweet life.
Her lips are curving downwards.
Her eyes are mirroring a defeated spirit.
Her heart is being burned by fear.
Wary is clinging to her like a frightened child.
Indescribable emotions are surrounding her.
A heartbreak is sending her into sadness,
One that she is struggling to pull herself out from.

She is staring at the skyscraper opposite her.
A sad smile is leaking out onto her face,
As the bittersweet memory is wafting in her mind.
It was a cool spring night.
They were sprawled on the smooth grass,
Next to each other,
Observing the moonlight above them.
They were discussing about their dreams,
Their future together.

He said, I will always love you, my dear.
I will never let you know the meaning of hurt.
I will treasure you like a fragile doll.
He made a promise he couldn't keep.
No, he didn't betray her.
He coated their love with lies.
She is left on the pavement,
Pouring her crushed heart onto the road.

Friday, October 25, 2013

I'm tired, and I'm lonely, and I'm missing you again...

Lord, you could've sheltered me from that scene.

We both know that I didn't need to see that. We both know that when I see it, it's going to crack my heart and leave me wallowing in the particular memory again. On a given day, I can deal with it but it's not something that I want to tackle at a time when I'm not exactly in the best mood.

I have a thousand and one things stacked up against me.

It's not something that I want to share either. It's not that I want to keep the emotions bottled up; it's just that I can't afford to allow them to worry about me after the consecutive health scares. The only way that I can shield them from any worries is to hide and be alone in my favorite haunt. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it leads to a dangerous path.

If it happens often enough, I shudder to think what the consequences might lead me to.

Even as I'm sprawled on the comfortable couch in my hiding place, I can envision myself leaning against the balcony railing of Canary Palm Villa and pouring my heart out on the ocean floor.

Gosh, it's really too much for me to handle. I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep a brave front and plastering a natural-looking smile on my face.

I'm supposed to complete all of the assignments (due on Tuesday), but just as I'm staring at the blank Word document and the blinking cursor, Mr. Creativity and Mr. Idea are packing their bags at the same time, leaving for a vacation that I was never aware of.

Sigh, when emotions and assignments are thrown into the mix, the result is not beneficial.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

A Brief Update

Sorry for the sudden disappearance from the blogging world, my dear readers. Planning the Hear Us Out 11 Conference while waddling through the back-to-back assignments was of no joke.

It was 3 weeks into the planning and preparation of HUO 11 that the ugly side of stress roared its head. I'm not the perfectionist that Teochew Mama is (hell if I am!), but I am unwillingly admitting that I can be found stressing myself too much over my assignments and such. As much as I hate slogging in front of the computer screen and struggling to finish everything at the last minute, that exactly happened. It became so bad that an extension to the deadline was necessary; I was about to crash under the weight while my teammates were going through some issues of their own.

I suddenly fell under the weather in class two Fridays ago: while my vision turned blurry and my eyes ached at the bright ceiling lights, I could feel my legs becoming numb. It became so severe that I skipped World Issues and pleaded with my classmate to pass on the message to the lecturer that I'm not feeling too well. Not only was my head dizzy, but my stomach was churning to the point where I almost threw up.

I thought that taking the weekend off to recuperate would do the trick but boy, was I so wrong. The headache returned to taunt me while we were planning to head out to lunch. I didn't want to stay back and rest because what I needed was food and 100Plus (because of electrolytes) and I felt bad for asking Faustina to buy for me.

My Facebook status, written shortly after the second recovery
Gosh, Lord knows how hard I tried to hide it but she and Dexter saw through the invisible protective shield, becoming really worried for me.

And as I later found out, it was the combination of a lack of adequate, quality sleep and strong turmeric that landed me with two episodes of intense headaches. Sigh, what in the world was she thinking?

I'll only be able to blog about HUO 11 once I'm able to lay my hands on the pictures taken during the conference. As I was one of the many presenters, I couldn't slide into the photographer mode.

And I didn't bring the digital camera with me. =.=

On the overall, I can feel the stress level dissipating to a much more controllable level now.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tuesday's Story #6

Slumped against the custom-designed leather chair that sat in her bedroom was Rose, who refused to believe the one-eighty change in her subordinate's behavior. The Magenta that she knew from university was someone gentle with no temper but the person who confronted Rose in front of the entire department certainly had a fiery temper, which was so not like her.
    Whether she was blinded by her ambition for the coveted seat or something else, Rose failed to see that the cause of the team's failure boiled down to her inexperience and she had taken the easy way up the ladder, instead of the skills and knowledge required. She still believed that it was of no fault of hers that the big boss promoted her and not Magenta, which made a little sense come to think of it. The big boss should've immediately shot down her request after their "little time together" and followed his conscience to promote the most deserving candidate.
    She rose to her full height and stared out the window, sighed as she folded her arms. As deep as their differences ran, she wanted to convince Magenta to remain in the department but it was too late; the news had arrived on the doorstep at the eleventh hour, leaving her with the only choice of acceptance and bound to lose the one of the best employees that their workplace ever had to a rival company.
    She just couldn't deny the fact that Magenta was much more capable than herself.

There was only one word to describe Magenta's feelings as she departed the workplace, but with her personal belongings this time around.
    The tension that she never knew had weighed her down after Rose's promotion suddenly disappeared when she realized that she hadn't need to face Rose any longer. To have her as a friend was a blessing but to have Rose as her boss? Oh, that was a disaster in the making. And a disaster it was. Instead of the mutual respect they had for each other, it degraded into something shy of animosity.
    She had to admit that she never considered the possibility of working in another company and caught herself being in a dilemma, unsure of her next move and certainly anxious about starting over in a new environment. Still, she never regretted leaving, only regretted for not leaving earlier. She'd glance through the classified advertisements and job sites for vacancies in suitable and related fields and submit her application with the CV and attend the necessary interviews - all while utilizing the time for a much-needed break.
    She had never taken a proper rest ever since after her graduation. The days of old were a haze, something she could barely remember.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I dreamt that it was compulsory for us to attend a movie screening that our lecturer organized as part of our attendance. I was under the weather and nursing a sore throat but not wanting to be counted as absent, I dragged my feet there.

I was momentarily frightened when I exited the lecture theatre after the screening as my close friend snuck up behind me with a grin. Lord, I almost wanted to slice him there and then for his prank. Anyhow, he asked whether he could car pool with me, and I replied that sure, since we're heading in the same direction, why not?

There was a minor parking issue when we arrived at my Prius, which was parked at a numbered bay in front of Starbucks. A Focus blocked my way, and no matter how hard and loud I slammed my honk, the driver of that car was nowhere to be seen.


Saturday, September 28, 2013

Nothing but stress and emoness is twirling in my eyes

It has been so long ago that I experienced what they call an emotional depression and yet, it was on Thursday that I felt it again - but with an even greater intensity.

One minute, I hysterically laughed while watching the repeat of a Taiwanese variety show while at the other minute, I bawled to a sad song. Not to mention, I couldn't call it a night early, not because I was dating heavy assignments but because I was dangerously high on hyperactivity and emoness. My eyes were tired but my mind was wide awake.

As if to tease me, Cookie played a prank on me that left me palpitating and frightened.

"You look like you're going to cry," he consoled with a smirk. "Aww, don't cry..."

I'm not that claustrophobic but combine that with my great fear of the darkness, I could have died from a heart attack there and then. And that's pretty much the reason why I have the fear of riding the elevator with him. I swear, he will repeat history if and when the opportunity rises. >.<

Coffee mania kicked in; while Faustina delivered coffee to her friend nearby, I bought myself an iced cappuccino from San Francisco and one matcha tea latte from Coffee Bean - both were consumed before we made it back to campus. It was not satisfying enough, actually; Teochew Mama and I gulped on cappuccino and sampled on plain pretzels earlier this morning.

I really hope that the emoness will taper down by Monday, because I don't want course mates, especially Dexter and Faustina, asking if I am feeling alright. It's not easy to hide one's emotions, as I have learned. We may be able to remain stoic but our eyes are the mirror that will give our soul away - people will know when we are happy or sad, just by looking at the optic nerve.

And with that, while I embark on a studious affair with my History and World Issues test reviews, I shall leave you all with a video of Teochew Mama's new favorite song.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Tuesday's Story #5

Author's Note: This is a scheduled post, as Ciana's now knee-deep in whatever that she is now doing. 

The moment the Taiwanese band, SHE's new song, 心还是热的, began playing on the radio, Shelby was subconsciously reminded of her faded friendships with two people, people whom she thought were important in her life.
    As much as she wanted to deny it, there was another resident in her heart long before she met Matt. It was a brief relationship that left such a lasting impact on her, even though she had lost permanent touch with the man and berated herself for thinking about him after so long. She hadn't known if he led a happy life or where he now resided and didn't intend on reestablishing the friendship either.
    Neither could she for the life of her remember what had wedged her and Alice far beyond the point of no return in their friendship. All she could remember was that at one minute, they were close but on another minute, they swiveled in the opposite direction and walked off, throwing the friendship into the drain. News had recently reached her ears that Alice now showed interest in burying the hatchet and starting afresh but far too much time passed to change or repair anything.
    Stephie advised her from young that not all friends will remain in one's life forever and for those who sent themselves out the door, well, don't hold them responsible or blame them either. It is part of life, she had mentioned, but Shelby struggled to believe her.
    Not even once.
    To her, there were explanations behind people's actions and words.
    But now that she carried a heavy responsibility to raise a well-mannered Samantha in a loving, healthy and stable environment with a financial burden on her shoulders, the life experience that she earned finally drove her to believe Stephie's words. She willingly understood that not all explanations were the truth in certain situations; it being a way for the person to escape the blame.
    Like Shelby had joked once, "motherhood can really open your eyes to a whole new perspective." She knew that if she opened her arms, welcomed the reentry of the man and Alicia into her life, there was a strong possibility that it would jeopardize the balance that she had so cautiously weighed and executed. Maybe, if she was still a carefree singleton, if it was in their cards, she might consider the prospect of her love with the man being reignited with the strike of a match but one thing was for sure; had the Lord allowed Matt to stay, life would be on a much happier note and she? She'd be much more relieved, with someone to share about her worries for Samantha's future.
    Let's say if the man was willing to reconcile with her. Would he be able to accept Shelby's baby girl and treat and love her like she was his biological? Nope, Shelby decided, she'd not gamble with Samantha's well-being and future by not only taking the risk with the man but also to introduce the peculiar Alice into the youngster's life.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Crazy Monster Day

Thinking back on the past week, I'm not sure if it was a sign of an oncoming bipolar disorder... or just me adjusting to the hectic but fun assignment-packed schedule.

And yes, sarcasm was intended.

A description of a sudden personality change is an understatement; you had to be there to see the effects of it. Ask one of my friends; she'd tell you how crazy I was. It was so bad that the endorphins hovered around the high and insane levels - for two straight days!

Day One: I sneaked up to the quiet Student Lounge in transit between classes and threw myself into the variety of songs that my computer, Carrie has stored in a special folder. Trust me; I didn't know that all of the students there heard me belting out my vocals.

I ran into the performer that I interviewed for Monster Mic, and he told me about it - how everyone heard my screechy vocals and even sang the chorus of the song I hummed to back to me.

Oh, crap!

Day Two: While we waited for the production team to get Pie Day up and running, that same friend of mine and I froze in the lounge, literally yelled to random songs on my computer. Not only did we shatter the windows and fragile walls, we replaced the melodious tune with our imperfect voice.

I swear, the only people whom I am comfortable with to listen to my vocals are my close friends and the family members. If I've been blessed with angelic voice, I'd have already signed up as a choir member and contributed my part.

Ah, and there's the Pie Day. Well, to those who haven't heard of it, you might ask what it is all about. I'm not too sure about it, but from what I've heard and read, it is the day when students and teachers with the highest monetary votes will have plates of durian pie being thrown at their faces.

The excess money collected will be then channeled to the Council's charity of choice. Heh, I'm going to throw all the votes that I have on Dexter (and maybe, even Kyle) the next time around. It'd be lovely to see them pied again, but it'd even be lovelier if I'm the one throwing the pie at him. >=D

Here is some photographs of the event that I pulled out of my memory card.

I've heard beforehand that if you stand too close, you'd be coated with durian-infused cream instead. And we all know how smelly durian can be, right? That's why I chose to sit on the railing with Faustina, which gave us both an advantage in height and additional safety.

That amount of endorphins drove me way past my curfew to settle the draft of the Congress of Vienna report and sailed me through the entire day, but I almost crashed out during the Sunset Mass due to sleep deprivation. You know, like the saying goes, a little goes a long way, and even that took me until Monday night to print the finalized copy.

Okay, that's about it. I'm off to extract myself from the assignments!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Tuesday's Story #4

It had been a rough six months.
     In that course, she finally gained the courage to come clean with the wandering boyfriend but struggled to break free and away from him; she battled the trauma of the death of two close friends, a span of four weeks between each to car accidents; she had been given a miss in the company's yearly promotion when she had worked harder than the receivers, spending more time after office hours in the workplace than them; she had been asked to vacate her previous residence through no fault of hers and although she eventually found a home somewhere, she still struggled to adapt to the smoke-infused and fragrance-infused air of the neighborhood; and it was just last weekend that she lost control of herself, with the excess of endorphins lasting on an emotional high for two days and one night.
     When a memorable song from her childhood aired on a particular English radio station, Magenta felt her soul crumbled and broke into tears, clouding her vision on the congested Federal Highway. She thought that she had moved on and buried those issues deep enough to paint a smiley face daily but as the tears ruined her makeup and rolled down her cheeks, she realized that she never fully recovered from the relationship and the multiple rejections.

A double degree that she was, it didn't protect her from the trials and tribulations of working under a brainless moron for a superior; in fact, it aggravated the problem of being treated unfairly as the other subordinates all held a single degree.
     The superior was behind her, yelling her head off about the whole team not being able to achieve the deadline when the truth of the matter was that they had been thrown a gazillion ton's worth of work, which made meeting deadline a near impossibility.
     Did the superior honestly think that the team was instead robots living in human bodies with its own inner workings?
    When she however started attacking them personally with words like "stupid" and "selfish", Magenta slammed the table and swiveled to her direction, fury in her eyes.
     "What is your problem, Rose?!"
     "I don't have any problem," the superior offered. "I'm reprimanding you all for your inability to meet deadlines!"
     "How are we going to meet every deadline when you keep throwing work at us? Stop yelling at us! We've no choice but to cover for your messes and issues."
     "Being your superior allows me the authority to do so!"
     "Enough!" Magenta growled. "You rose to this position not through your skills and capabilities but through flirtatious acts and contacts with the head office people!"
     All the other subordinates drew a sharp breath, shocked at the revelation.
     "That's enough crap I've received from you!" the superior furrowed her brows. "You are fired."
     Magenta heard gasps around her.  "Fired?"
    She rolled her eyes. "You don't know me, Rose. I've tendered my resignation letter last month and come this evening, I'm officially no longer an employee here. You can't fire me when I've resigned."
     "How dare you!"
     "What? An employee has the right to leave a company that she has grown uncomfortable with."

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Monster's Mic

Since I have managed to squeeze some space out of the busy schedule in a frazzled state, I figured that I'll blow some steam to free the congested mind and report my attendance. Trust me; you wouldn't want to know the intensity of the workload I'm having now.

I knew that these two assignments would drain me because they are the toughest to complete. In fact, it is bleeding me of my energy as I write this post. Having to write about the 100-year conflict of Israel and Palestine and suggesting ways to solve the conflict using the 4 ways of hierarchy, dissolution, comparison and the TOC (Theory of Constrict) with Monday being the deadline is of no joke; up until now, I'm not sure where to start, but I guess I'll make it.

And there's the Salon coming up. No, not the hair salon I meant. Salon, when explained historically, means a discussion among invited friends of the wealthy to their residence over tea. Since I've chosen Rousseau (yes, the man who incorporated the ideas of Locke and Hobbes and wrote the famous Social Contract; I've had the opportunity to read that book before), I'm supposed to spend some time researching for his historical contributions online for the debate, like all of my classmates who have chosen their separate figures (like John Locke and Voltaire), but I haven't been able to compile it into notes just yet. >.<

I really want to excel in this one, and am hoping that I won't screw it in the same way that I did with the Scientific Presentation of Rene Descartes. For that one, my nerves had the better hold of me and I barely kept eye contact with those present, fearing that my head will blank out.

The organizer and the co-host engaged in a last-minute discussion.

And in the midst of all the chaotic assignments thrown onto my table for completion, I dabbled in the little presentation that the campus had, hence the title name - as a creative performer and a journalist. It's not exactly singing because number one, my vocals will crack the windows and two, I don't play any musical instruments (even if I did, I don't have the extra time to practice); it was more of a presentation of any type of creative works (I chose short story) and certainly, what I meant was a campus magazine writer.

Not a newspaper journalist, for sure.

The setting up of musical equipments.

Seeing that this is my virgin attempt at both, nervousness completely enveloped me as I watched the audience members flowing in and taking their seats, but hell am I allowing it to be shown on my face, especially when the poems that I was to present belonged to Dexter, who couldn't make it at the last minute.

Too bad he missed out on all the fun, especially the expressions on the audience's faces (especially Ida's!) when his poems were being read out. Some members in attendance (most likely his friends, since one of them whipped out an iPad to take a picture of yours truly) were wowed away and I certainly saw a couple of teachers smiling away, like a long-buried sweet memory being invoked at that moment in time.

Oh, God, please save my soul.

The audience members who turned up earlier.

By the way, sorry for the lack of pictures. I'm not as skilled as the campus magazine photographers (like Sophia, Emily and the one in the above photograph) and having to take on three duties was more than challenging.

I'm not going to write much more about it, because I'm saving all of it for the campus magazine. Like with the History presentations - past and upcoming, I sure hope that the experiences and knowledge gained will take me to new, unexplored horizons.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to complete the remaining assignments with some extra time to do my own things - maybe, like permeating the entire house with an aromatic coconut bun or shopping for sneakers.

And with that, I'm off to crash and enter the soothing world of Dreamland.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Torn between two places

It doesn't feel like a semester break when I have another two (more like four, if you count in the History presentations on Scientific Revolution and French Revolution) heavy assignments to complete by the week's end. No, I went straight to business after the last day of class; we started our break with at around six separate assignments.

Yes, you heard that right. My classmate's absolutely correct when he said that those two subjects would involve a gargantuan amount of assignments being thrown at us.


There was such a plan to spend the break at Taipei but it won't be a relaxing vacation with the assignments, right? Trust me; even as I'm drafting this post, half of my mind is concentrating on the remaining assignments. My idea of a holiday would be the temporary freedom from the worldly worries and suffused my soul with the fresh, welcoming air of Taichung.

Still, in the wake of the workload, I ensured that I had cocooned myself at home between the four walls and the idiot box.

I baked.

I lolled in my favorite haunt.

I had my locks trimmed shorter.

I slept until ten in the morning.

I caught up on past episodes of NCIS.

I yelled my heart to this song until my vocal cords cracked.

I gobbled my way around the kitchen.

Nothing could beat that, not by a million miles. Okay, I admit, the last one is definitely an exaggeration. I'm no longer ransacking the fridge for food every couple of hours.

And lastly, I dreamed of That Latte Plate some weeks ago.

I'll survive unscathed, and until my next post, I'm off to sink my face into the tub of green tea ice-cream while the assignments are being done at my own pace.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Dream, dream, dream

Personally, it's pathetic to have such a dream when I don't want it to happen in the next year, or at least in the next 3 years to come. It'll just throw the balance way off the weighing scale. I won't be surprised if I am being asked over this when I next see them.

Anyway, I dreamed that this fellow classmate had showered me with love that both surprised and shocked everyone present. He yanked me over the table and patted my head like I was his pet (more like how I love to touch Big Fat's fur).

As if that wasn't annoying enough, I was dragged to a show-house and the real estate negotiator in charge kept disturbing me, describing to me how grand the neighborhood was and how it was not bordered by lower-cost residence and such. People were seated here and there, enjoying a cup of two of coffee or a glass or two of Merlot/Shiraz.

I rolled my eyes and departed the scene, borrowing the toilet.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

That's why

First thing is first.

I have to warn you that until I have successfully rotated the assignments and extra-curricular activities (hey, I'm a member for four various clubs) around the limited hours of the schedule, I won't be updating the blog as frequently as I'd like to in the coming months but by no means is that a sign of the blog abandonment.

It's just that life has forced me to prioritize.

With that being said, I'll still float around to pay my fellow bloggers some much-needed visits whenever I can sneak online.

That's how messy my table is, after a day's worth of assignments.

As much as I am slowly being comfortable around the fellow course mates and with the new environment, I'm not counting out the possibility that to succeed as a high scorer on all the subjects (including the ones I can't handle with ease), I will, without any qualms, definitely spend the free time using all the extra help that I have access to and if it arrives at such a point, I'll swap it with the sleeping hours be a walking zombie.

It's not something I'd like to be again (after Teochew Mama's bout with food poisoning), as the last experience tore the perfect memory into little sea sponges.

Papers after papers...

How I wish I could write a detailed post but with the deadline barely 24 hours away, an urgent but perfect completion of the History and Geography/World Issues assignments is necessary.

Saturday, July 27, 2013


Trust me; it stinks when your worries of not being able to complete all the assignments on time and be armed with the ideas and arguments for the next class affects the sleep, which explains why the flow of the dream isn't as smooth as satin.

I dreamt that I saw advertisements for the sale and rent of properties being glued to the wall while waiting for the elevator to arrive at the Ground Floor. A week later, while I was at B1, walking towards the elevator, I had heard through the loudspeaker that the elevator went haywire, causing someone to be stuck in the inaccessible floor of B3.

I felt my heart collapsing to my stomach when I saw that someone emerging from the locked doors; kept thinking that it was a spiritual resident that I saw and only exhaled when I saw his hands and legs, fingers and toes.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I fear that if I sleep, I will lose all memories of you

"Shima uta yo kaze ni nori todokete okure watashi no ai wo"

If the melody does sound familiar, it is the original song for "Don't Want to Sleep" (不想睡) by Mandopop singer, Fish Leong (梁静茹).

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tuesday's Story #3

Author's Note: The following story is based purely on fiction, nothing of reality. 

After tucking her little one into bed, Shelby watched as the little one fell into a peaceful rhythm of breaths, knowing that if it hadn't been for her, life would've ended on a different note altogether. She remembered her reaction when the doctor confirmed her suspicions; a wave of mixed emotions flooded her heart. It had been a mere three months after Matt's accident and never mind about the pregnancy; she wasn't even sure if she, a full-time working single mother, could provide a quality life for the baby.
     Six long years.
     That was how long Matt had left. As worried as she had been about handling the loss of another loved one and raising their child alone, life had somehow turned alright although she regretted that little Samantha would only know her father through pictures and never stood the chances of hearing his voice and that Matt will never be able to bond with his little girl.
     She sighed, hoped that in a better world, life won't reveal its mean streak and replaced the empty hole in their lives with eternal happiness. If only she could turn the time back. If only Matt was around to be the best father she'd knew he was capable of being to their daughter.
     When it came to naming the little one, she chose the name Samantha as it was Matt's favorite name, a name that he wanted to christen on their first daughter. It was something that they briefly discussed after deciding to seal their relationship in matrimony that was never to become.
     "If I have a daughter?" he repeated the question. "Wow, I'll treat her like a princess but will remain parental whenever necessary. I'll make it known to her that she'll never be ashamed of having us as her parents and you." He squeezed Shelby's hands. "You'll be the best mother that Samantha could ask for."
      Standing outside the nursery days after the delivery, his words had ringed in Shelby's mind. It was like he had the slightest inkling that he knew he was living on borrowed time but didn't want to worry her. Spying for Samantha, her eyes burned when she saw her; the little one was the molten image of Matt, inherited his blue eyes, his celestial nose, high cheekbones and his facial shape. 
    The ten months of pregnancy had been tough on her emotionally-weakened soul but credit had to be given to her understanding and thoughtful bosses. If it hadn't been for them, Samantha's arrival would pose additional issues at the workplace, especially when Shelby needed to crash more hours into her working schedule to meet an urgent deadline.
    "My sweet girl," she whispered. "Mommy's so sorry that you had a cruel start to life instead of the happy beginnings that everyone your age has."
     With the time no longer early, she rose from the chair and climbed into her bed a room away, but ended up staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, only the sound of her breath around. Samantha hadn't posed any question about Matt's absence but it was a matter of time before it happened, before she had to come clean with the truth.

Friday, July 12, 2013


The explanation's pretty simple: I have been watching too many crime drama episodes again, between CSI: NY and NCIS Season 8.

I dreamt that we were off to investigate a lead on a case and when we knocked on an apartment door, we were met instead with a gun-wielding suspect who threatened to open fire on us. Even though I had the least experience, I immediately jumped in to save the day. Since I had a mental knowledge of the house, I reached out for a side table made out of solid wood that held the table lamp while my colleague distracted the suspect's attention and reached out for a well-oiled and well-cleaned pistol plastered underneath the table and accurately fired, momentarily maiming the man at his legs.

As the day ended, the colleagues and I were finally able to relax after cracking the case while I sipped hot chocolate, a smile at the corners of my mouth at secret thoughts.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


As always, yesterday night was laborious on the weakened soul when the mosquito kept waking me up, and it wasn't until 3.15am that I really feel asleep for the night, which explained the reason why my dream scenes are here and there.

Eyes were rimmed with red veins and ached.

I dreamt that our friend bolted with not much of a clue to her current whereabouts. I had found her outside a carpentry shop with paperwork but by the time I returned with our clique, she was gone but she had left behind those papers; something that ran in the lines of financial statements from Citibank.

Armed with the determination to find her safe and alive, I went under the rain twice to Citibank's building and spoke to the security guard, who kindly put me through to this employee, whom I presented my case and waited for the response.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Arrrrh, the crawling cockroaches!

The motzies (mosquitoes) don't quite bother me as much as the spine-chilling cockroaches, but both can be quite a nuisance. 

It is tough to sleep when the motzie is flying around you, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting you and drinking your blood. However, when compared to the both residences that I have lived in, the first one didn't have much motzies around but the second one definitely had more of them, especially during their feeding hours (of 7am and 7pm?).

I have no idea why, but cockroaches had infested both houses, emerging in places where you won't expect to find them. Nobody said that cockroaches will appear in the wardrobe, nibbling on clothes or even in the bedroom, feeling like they own the place....

Not exactly the image I wanted, but you do get the drift, right?

It'd always use me as a bridge to get across the room in the wee of the hours of the night, never hesitating to crawl on me and leaving me wide awake for at least an hour after that. Teochew Mama and Papa Carrie seemed to have been spared.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Vegetable + Meat Noodles

Seeing that I lolled around the house and was more than unwilling to head out to pack the 云吞麵 (Chinese wantan mee), I slaved behind the cooker hob, slicing and chopping and boiling all the ingredients into what I hope is a somewhat-nutritious and sumptuous lunch for the both of us.

For today's lunch, you will need the following:-

1 Tbsp sesame oil
1 Tbsp light soy sauce
A dash of pepper
Alfafa sprouts
6 pieces of pre-cooked meat
2 boiled eggs each
1 carrot
4 mushroom, sliced
Some seaweed

Slice the carrot in a pot of water, boil for 1 minute or when it turns a bright orange and set aside to cool.

Boil the mushrooms in the same pot of water for 1 minute, or until soft and strain.

Steam the meat and eggs in a container. (You don't necessarily need to use 茶叶蛋 - Pinyin: cha ye dan, English: tea egg; the normal ones are just as fine.)

Toss the boiled noodles together with the sauce and oil to allow the seasoning to coat it.

Serve the cooked carrot, mushrooms, meat and eggs on top of the noodles, and sprinkle the sprouts and seaweed on top.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Something random, something totally random


I'd always revert to freehand drawing whenever my mood's screwed, even though the end-result may not be perfect.

Monday, July 1, 2013


The following dream must be related to the discovery that happened last Saturday; after being suddenly reminded of Jeremy, I went to Sunset Mass, really hoping to seek some answers and some solace from the whirling mind but ended up running into Stephanie (or so I thought. I still remember her face, but I'm not 100% sure if it was her). 

Bleh, I returned home in a deeper wonder than ever.

Charlie will attest to that.

Back to business.

I dreamed that he had called me out for a drink and while I was in my room getting ready, my Mom had allowed him in and asked him to be comfortable and wait for a second.

He brought me to this drinking place, which resembles something like the revolving restaurant at KL Tower in real life. There were benches of three in each area (more to encourage socialization, methinks) and a long list of alcoholic drinks.

Socialize, I did. He was rather uncomfortable but kept a close eye in case that I'm being pounced on by some suspicious crook.

Shortly before heading down to an acquaintance's hair salon, I had a field time being surrounded by friendly puppies (yet again!) One of 'em knocked down an empty waste paper basket and curled up inside it, comfortably slept.

While my Mom spoke to the acquaintance over some final decisions, I collapsed on the couch at the seating area, waited patiently in silence.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Whisk Espresso, Empire Shopping Gallery

Note: I know that this is no longer hot news, but I am relieved that the rain has finally shooed the haze out from Klang Valley, returning to us the air that we're used to. As long as it's still the open burning season, I won't jump to the conclusion that the haze has left the building.

My stomach growled for food almost immediately after I had paid for the weekly's grocery purchase and remembering Crystal's penchant for Whisk's coffee, I threw the bags of groceries into the car and headed straight there.

I was lucky that it was after the lunch hour crowd that I entered the F&B outlet and paid for my order, waited for it to be personally delivered by the employee (or barista, didn't quite catch a glimpse as my concentration was glued to Facebook and the email and whispered my thanks aloud.

Between the limited choices of lesser-sweetened cakes and its sweeter siblings, I briefly hesitated before I chose this cake in view of its nutritional benefit. If I can remember correctly, one bar of dark chocolate daily will boost the endorphins and prevent an emotional blue.

I like chocolate not because of that, but because it also soothes the cravings easily.

Chocolate Cake Slice (RM 8.90)

The first bite was lovely; it easily blended well with the taste buds and smoothly coated the mouth. The frosting, however, revealed the actual sweetness; it hit my taste buds with such a bang that it numbed the pancreas momentarily.

The cake itself was moist with endless amounts of chocolate inside.

Cappuccino (RM 10)

It was in that faint moment shortly after the first sip that it dawned on me that this could be the type of coffee that Teochew Mama would love: just the right amount of coffee beans and very little froth has been used in the production of Whisk's cappuccino.

On a fairer note, it didn't contain the oomph that I wanted and a strong but balanced taste of milk and coffee.

Maybe I should've ordered latte instead.

Address: Whisk Espresso Bar and Bake Shop,
LG 03A, Empire Shopping Gallery,
Jln SS 16/1,
47500 Subang Jaya

Tel: 03-5022 2060


Landmarks: Tong Pak Fu, GNC and Jaya Grocer

Monday, June 24, 2013

Interested in auction items?

After reading Hayley's post on auction items, what better way than to follow suit? Not only will it be of good use to its new owner, this shared wardrobe will no longer be cluttered. (Some of Teochew Mama's fashionable clothes from the 80s have eaten a good 25% of the wardrobe space.)

Item #1: This dress, Teochew Mama had bought for my birthday some years ago and I'm selling it off now as I've gained a bigger bottom since then. Not only will the chubby thighs ruin the beauty, my hunching won't bring the best out of it and radiate the elegance that is worthy of the dress.

As you can see, it has a V-shaped neckline with side pockets; there is simple embroidery around the bust line.

Front view

Back view

Size: M.

Selling at RM 40 (postage included).

Item #2: Likewise with this Korean 4-inch high heeled shoe, she paid quite some money for it as the boss refused to slash the price even further.

I'm selling it off as I've realized this footwear is never meant for me. Whenever I'm wearing this, I'd constantly sprain my ankle; the last time around, I missed a step and tripped, landing face first onto the grassy ground on a broad Sunday daylight.

Side view

Side view #1

Top view

Top, diagonal view

Side view # 2

Front view

Size: Euro 38 (which, when converted, will mean a size 7 US).

Selling at RM 50 (postage included).

It's only for serious buyers. If you are interested, feel free to drop a comment and for those who don't have a Blogger or Wordpress account, please leave behind your name and email address as well so that we can arrange with the payment.

Once sold, any request for a refund or an exchange won't be entertained.

P.S. Thank you very much for browsing through. =)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The long-forgotten route to Subang Parade

With the cloudy and hazy air leaving me glued indoors with resentment and boredom, I'll have to momentarily break away from today's post and vent my frustrations at the lack of rain. The only relief now is rain, be it natural or artificial.

If this situation were to continue, there's only one road: the PSI in Klang Valley will worsen, sending almost everyone crawling to the hospital with respiratory illnesses.

And the haze is expected to last until August!

As sad as it sounds, we had grazed past this subject before, and seeing that since the flight departure to the lovely refuge neared, this was the right time to remain true to our word and meet up again for the one final time - at Subang Parade.

Oh, guess what I had found in Jaya Grocer?

A variety of plum named after my friend! Coolies! =O

I had arrived earlier to deal with the groceries and some other errands and with the extra time that I had, I browsed through Parkson and finally hovered towards Dome when I was bored, waited until Kar Wyai arrived.

She hadn't known that I was already there until I whispered her name aloud when she passed me by. After the usual hugs and words, it was time to satiate the cravings.

When she whined that I had presented her with far too many presents, I confessed that I can't afford to screw up my chances again, especially with what I went through with our mutual friend.

Her: "I can't believe that he has forgotten you."
Me: "If a photograph of your birthday party can't shake his memory up, then I'm afraid the whole friendship thing is as good as dead."
Her: "And you two were neighbors, right?"
Me (scowling at the mutual friend): "Yes."

I wouldn't blame her for that; it's been embedded in me. =/

After lunch, we walked around the mall like a herd of lost sheep, unsure of our next plan and saw the following: J&Co Donuts had taken the retail lot that Delifrance had once occupied for a decade and now that they have moved somewhere else, Big Apple Donuts filled up the space; Chatime occupied a comfortable kiosk behind; and Desserts Bar was replaced by another F&B outlet, whose name have since slipped away from the mind.

MPH was ahead of us, and we headed inside. A quick browse through the aisles of literary classics and romance novel led me to purchase the books that I have longed for a while now: Dante's Inferno and Nicholas Sparks's The Choice.

Plus Jane Green's Family Pictures, and just for these three books, I was RM 110 poorer.

The hobby of reading would be best pursued in the States or some other Western countries, where reading as a past time is encouraged by the school.

Dessert was next; and without much hesitation, Coffee Bean was the mutual choice.

As the day approached and with Teochew Mama needed to see the Chinese physician, we broke off and bid each other adieu and wished each other luck in whatever decisions that we'd make in the near future.

On our drive home, we had to battle the traffic congestion everywhere. =/ Pfft!
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