Friday, May 30, 2014

Dedication Post #2

Note: this is a scheduled post because Ciana's busy pulling her hair out while she is trying to complete the remaining bits of her Media Arts ISU.

Credits to for the image.

Kyle: Wow, how can I describe my appreciation? Meshed in my brain is the time we spent in and out of classes last semester, especially the part where would race against each other for the couch in the lounge, lol. Remember that? Remember how you would roll your eyes when I arrive first? Remember how I would throw slight tantrums if you arrived before me? But yeah, thank you so much for instilling the stress in me last semester. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be pushing myself to the core as a senior. Thank you for inadvertently reminding me, through your extremely high grades that I am capable of chasing the scores that I desire. Thank you for momentarily being my punch bag Bob, allowing me to rant my frustrations at the life and people outside of our campus.

Although our rare conversations are accentuated with a sense of awkwardness, I would like to wish you the best of luck in all that you choose to do in university and, certainly, hope that you'll be able to achieve your dreams of being a creative writer.

Chester: There's so much I am capable of writing about you, man, but due to the space constraint, I shall shorten it. If I have the opportunity to leave a farewell message on your Yearbook, I might continue writing it there, but we'll see about that.

Thank you for being my group mate (twice!). I still can remember the sparkle in your eyes when you learned that we were collaborating for both the Hamlet and Media Presentation units. Thank you for being such a caring friend during such a terribly hectic semester (especially our first Blended Learning Friday of the semester; I know I looked extremely pale) and bailing me out whenever necessary. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you've done for me in and out of class; I really appreciate it.

I am looking forward to maintaining in touch with you after my graduation, and who knows if I might join you in your chosen university? =P I'm still deciding between the three universities.

Sunday, May 25, 2014


Just as when I thought I can swim to the surface and catch five, I'm being drowned by the three major yet final assignments that need my utmost attention for completion. To be honest, I'm hesitant on looking at it because it'll make my head spin in circles faster. Balance the filming for two divergent assignments is of no joke; I was almost confused between the video clips for each one last Saturday. I've no idea if it's the exhaustion screwing with me or what, but it illustrates that I shouldn't be attempting to take on so much with such a tight deadline.

There are two things preventing my exhausted soul from collapsing once again: the desire to avoid worrying anyone (including my dear brothers) and the belief that this is the final obstacle to overcome. In a fortnight's time, I'll be as free as the bird in the sky. With that being said, however, time is a double-edged sword. On one hand, I am relieved that the stress is coming to an end but on the other, I am leaving with a heavy heart. There are too many buddies that I don't want to say goodbye to. There wasn't enough time for all of us to spend time together in one place during our mutual free periods because let's face it, the arrangement for our class times were pretty screwed up this time around. Some of us are only free at a time when the remainder of us is having classes and it's not often that I'm staying back on campus after Media Arts..

Even as I'm penning this post, my mind is bringing me back to that particular conversation my friend and I had on Whatsapp about photographs and memories. I still can remember the disappointment in his reply when he learned that this is my final semester.

Oh, don't get me wrong; it's just that he regretted not knowing me earlier.

You know who you are, my friends, and if you're reading this, we need to make prom the time of our lives because this is the last time that we will be seeing each other until God knows when since we are on deviating paths to the third phase of our future. Don't forget; the time difference and distance will separate us far and wide to the point that when we catch up again, we may not be able to recognize each other.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

CPU English & Drama Festival, Period 5 "Ghost Diggers": Injustice Served

While I am busy balancing the assignments, my social life and sleep, here's something from the recent festival that my campus organized for you to enjoy. ^^

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Dedication Post #1

Oh, man, time is definitely of the essence here. In a fortnight's time, we'll be on divergent paths, laying the foundations for the next chapters of our lives. Some of us are heading to prom and us seniors, definitely the graduation ceremony whereas the rest of us are not attending either one due to personal reasons. This is one of the couple of decisions behind my choice to pen this post. I want to let the people who have brought meaning into my life, be it the juniors or the seniors, know that although I rarely show it, their entrances are truthfully appreciated in such a hectic semester.

Without further ado, I shall begin the dedication.

- Oh, my dear sister, your courage and bravery is and has always been something that I have admired. Where you have found the tenacity, I don't know but I respect you for being able to fight back when you are threatened or bullied by some, well, nugget heads. Thank you for being there for me in my fragile state and taking time out to hear me rant away. Thank you for keeping an eye out for the people I love the most. Thank you for teaching me to be who I am, especially after experiencing two complications that shattered my heart to the core. I want to let it go in exchange for a memory catharsis, but it's tough, really tough to accomplish that.

Just wait and see what I'm going to do for your birthday. ^^

Guang Wei
- I could've taken up an entire page on your Yearbook but due to the time constraint since I was writing my message shortly before class and didn't want our English lecturer to see it, I'll pick up from where I left off and elaborate here.

Thank you for providing an honest and neutral opinion. It was really helpful to understand more about that matter (which still has the capability of making me weep) through the eyes of another. At least I am able to comprehend why it happened the way it did. Thank you for squeezing some time out of your busy schedule to lend a listening ear for the ridiculous and random rants. I'm really sorry about that night; it's just that I needed to talk to someone about it. I doubt you didn't know that behind the strong girl that I am now lies that complicated past until I actually spilled the beans about it, right? Well, it's a double-edged sword. Thank you for being my classmate and most importantly, a friend whom I can trust and seek advice from. Thank you for helping me out whenever possible. I really appreciate it. =)

I can't believe that I still don't know when your birthday is, man!!!

- I am glad that we met through Law class. Thank you for allowing me to rant on you whenever I was emotionally down and needed an outlet to vent my frustrations without any opinions needed or given; it was just me and my rants. The complicated past that still leaves the fractured heart incapable of permanent recovery is what hovers around me now and I'm sure it has been reflected in my eyes multiple times before. Thank you for keeping me on the straight path, never once allowing me to divert to the dark, crooked path. There were many times during the period of our course that I wanted to throw in the towel and bury myself in the little corner of my room, scraping my heart with a spatula and alleviating the pain that's growing by the day.

My first impression of you is of someone reticent who spends her time revising and studying but after knowing you, I've realized that you certainly don't spend every waking hour doing as such. Uniqueness shapes you and nothing can change that. Never succumb to peer pressure or to please someone; it'll backfire on you. I hope that as a senior, you'll succeed in the subjects that you'll be taking and with the same amount of determination, it will lead you far and wide to your dream university. Keep in touch throughout the ages and stay cool!

- Man, first and foremost, I must say, a huge thank you for having endured my emotional outburst last semester during our ISU. Thank you for understanding the state of mind that I was in at that point of time. It was of no joke having to balance four different heavy assignments at one go with unseen interferences. The more we hang out together in those rare occasions since our timetables clash to the core, the more I feel that the nickname I accidentally christened you with really suits you. Not only are you independent and loyal to your friends, dude, you have a voracious appetite like 'em Huskies! Haha, lol!

It was so much fun having known you through the World Issues class and the memories with the lounge gang last semester. Oh, man, words can't describe it. Please stay the Husky that you have always been; it's what makes you, well, you. Take care of yourself and the best wishes for your final semester and university days. If luck has it, I'll definitely swing by the lounge to say hello.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Stuck between two words: reality and dreams

My apologies if it is a wordy post. I am penning this post in a state of exhaustion and finding relevant images from my picture albums and public libraries will definitely leave me asleep on the keyboard.

What in the world? It's already the middle of May?

Okay, I really need to learn to balance the blog with the massive loads of assignments that I have on my plate now. It's 1:09am on a Tuesday but I don't feel like sleeping even though I have to wake up at 8am for the morning exercise in Bukit Kiara. Yes, I hate waking up early for exercising yet I still do it because of Mama Carrie and it's a form of stress reliever. Looking at the beautiful flowers and trees as we tread the tarred road always takes my mind off work, even if only temporary.

It's just that the ISUs have arrived one after another and I am minimizing on my sleeping hours, which will both infuriate and shock the hell out of my Law and English lecturers. The last thing they want for me is to drop dead in class again. My English lecturer hasn't seen it but seeing that my Law lecturer is the same chap who taught me World Issues last semester, he has some knowledge of it. I know that I may have promised myself that I would work really hard for the final semester after taking much time out last semester to the point that there were time management issues, which I am handling now.

The thing is it is coming at the expense of my social life. While my peers are out hanging about with their friends during the weekends or after college, I am either rushing home or throwing myself in nothing but work and revisions, making sure that all of the assignments are perfectly completed or at least drafted before calling it a night. Not that I am complaining, anyway. I am never the nerd that mi amigo or Joseph is; it's just that I am determined and being shoved to achieve a higher goal, leading me to explore territories foreign to me, such as staying up until 4 am for a Law debate and/or skipping meals when I should be nourishing myself with nutritious food.

Hmmm, no wonder my calves are cramping.

Last week's English & Drama Festival is the best example that I can relate. For the fortnight leading up to the festival, I was pulling 6- 7 hours of intermittent sleep. Throw into the mix is the Law ISU, which is the mock trial preparation and case analysis. Between acing that and planning the entire skit with Carol, have no idea how I survived without collapsing. Only those closest to me were aware that I was multitasking Law ISU with the creation of "Injustice Served" (an original skit that my group and I created, which has its relevance to William Shakespeare's Hamlet, for English).

I'll see if I can have the video uploaded on YouTube; it's a large 9 minute file, mind you.
With that being said, I lashed out at another classmate during the rehearsal in stress-infused anger because he kept distracting my group member. All of us wanted a perfect execution of the skit and to at least stick to the original meaning of our allocated lines. I was under so much pressure to score because it was my fault that our class performance was screwed and needed to make sure that my group members were able to boost their scores.

Guang Wei suspected that something was amiss after our class performance, which was an opportunity for Ms. Skura to grade us in the event that we couldn't bring our skit to the festival, and asked if I was alright. At first, I lied that I was but when I returned home from college that day, I blared the entire truth (and if you're wondering, yes, everything include Papa Carrie's retreat) through the use of Whatsapp, which led me to soil my phone screen with tears.

Meeting the batch of classmates/friends that I now have, including Guang Wei, Chester, Carol, Charmaine, Meyshna and the never-ending list continues, has definitely made the final semester a much more interesting one. I couldn't have asked for a better group. Over the course of the last 5 months or so, we have grown closer from classmates and mere acquaintances to friends who are there for each other in times of need.

Gosh, that reminds me of the times I ranted on him and Carol. If you two are reading this, I want to say thank you. Wait, I should probably pen a post dedicated to all of them before graduation and have them read it like what I did for Angeline's farewell.

I wouldn't mind taking memorable pictures with them at prom night and freezing the times we shared digitally, though. Imagine the notion of us all suited up in tuxedos and gowns in front of the camera.... man, that's already bringing a smile to my face after such an intense college day.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that last semester was a total pain in the butt because it wasn't but there are certain things I wished it never happened. One of which was my constant battle with sleep deprivation-induced headaches. It wasn't until I was reading the messages that my peers have written on my yearbook that I realized that the stress is leaking out on my face. The messages are all in the lines of advising me to take five and not to spend too much time glued on the assignments as well as to smell the roses, enjoying what life has to offer because, well, you only live once.

Yet, I have changed this semester. No longer am I the friendly, outgoing and carefree lass, I am slightly reserved (and always preferring to hide in one of my favorite haunts, if I may add) with my emotions, suppressing it to paint a smile. I am definitely concealing my innermost thoughts and fears/worries well because not many people have realized it. It's odd how I am worried of my friends when I don't want them to be worried of me not even the slightest bit, don't you think? However, only two people know the accumulation of events that turned a loquacious person into a reticent writer and that's because I was nudged to be clean about it through the films of tears when they noticed the gradual changes in me.

Sigh, it's time for me to hit the sack. *yawns* Even though I spent 5 hours completing the homework for English, I still need to revise for tomorrow's Unit 3 Law test and have my vision for Media Arts ISU recording drawn, typed or written out.
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