Saturday, September 28, 2013

Nothing but stress and emoness is twirling in my eyes

It has been so long ago that I experienced what they call an emotional depression and yet, it was on Thursday that I felt it again - but with an even greater intensity.

One minute, I hysterically laughed while watching the repeat of a Taiwanese variety show while at the other minute, I bawled to a sad song. Not to mention, I couldn't call it a night early, not because I was dating heavy assignments but because I was dangerously high on hyperactivity and emoness. My eyes were tired but my mind was wide awake.

As if to tease me, Cookie played a prank on me that left me palpitating and frightened.

"You look like you're going to cry," he consoled with a smirk. "Aww, don't cry..."

I'm not that claustrophobic but combine that with my great fear of the darkness, I could have died from a heart attack there and then. And that's pretty much the reason why I have the fear of riding the elevator with him. I swear, he will repeat history if and when the opportunity rises. >.<

Coffee mania kicked in; while Faustina delivered coffee to her friend nearby, I bought myself an iced cappuccino from San Francisco and one matcha tea latte from Coffee Bean - both were consumed before we made it back to campus. It was not satisfying enough, actually; Teochew Mama and I gulped on cappuccino and sampled on plain pretzels earlier this morning.

I really hope that the emoness will taper down by Monday, because I don't want course mates, especially Dexter and Faustina, asking if I am feeling alright. It's not easy to hide one's emotions, as I have learned. We may be able to remain stoic but our eyes are the mirror that will give our soul away - people will know when we are happy or sad, just by looking at the optic nerve.

And with that, while I embark on a studious affair with my History and World Issues test reviews, I shall leave you all with a video of Teochew Mama's new favorite song.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Tuesday's Story #5

Author's Note: This is a scheduled post, as Ciana's now knee-deep in whatever that she is now doing. 

The moment the Taiwanese band, SHE's new song, 心还是热的, began playing on the radio, Shelby was subconsciously reminded of her faded friendships with two people, people whom she thought were important in her life.
    As much as she wanted to deny it, there was another resident in her heart long before she met Matt. It was a brief relationship that left such a lasting impact on her, even though she had lost permanent touch with the man and berated herself for thinking about him after so long. She hadn't known if he led a happy life or where he now resided and didn't intend on reestablishing the friendship either.
    Neither could she for the life of her remember what had wedged her and Alice far beyond the point of no return in their friendship. All she could remember was that at one minute, they were close but on another minute, they swiveled in the opposite direction and walked off, throwing the friendship into the drain. News had recently reached her ears that Alice now showed interest in burying the hatchet and starting afresh but far too much time passed to change or repair anything.
    Stephie advised her from young that not all friends will remain in one's life forever and for those who sent themselves out the door, well, don't hold them responsible or blame them either. It is part of life, she had mentioned, but Shelby struggled to believe her.
    Not even once.
    To her, there were explanations behind people's actions and words.
    But now that she carried a heavy responsibility to raise a well-mannered Samantha in a loving, healthy and stable environment with a financial burden on her shoulders, the life experience that she earned finally drove her to believe Stephie's words. She willingly understood that not all explanations were the truth in certain situations; it being a way for the person to escape the blame.
    Like Shelby had joked once, "motherhood can really open your eyes to a whole new perspective." She knew that if she opened her arms, welcomed the reentry of the man and Alicia into her life, there was a strong possibility that it would jeopardize the balance that she had so cautiously weighed and executed. Maybe, if she was still a carefree singleton, if it was in their cards, she might consider the prospect of her love with the man being reignited with the strike of a match but one thing was for sure; had the Lord allowed Matt to stay, life would be on a much happier note and she? She'd be much more relieved, with someone to share about her worries for Samantha's future.
    Let's say if the man was willing to reconcile with her. Would he be able to accept Shelby's baby girl and treat and love her like she was his biological? Nope, Shelby decided, she'd not gamble with Samantha's well-being and future by not only taking the risk with the man but also to introduce the peculiar Alice into the youngster's life.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Crazy Monster Day

Thinking back on the past week, I'm not sure if it was a sign of an oncoming bipolar disorder... or just me adjusting to the hectic but fun assignment-packed schedule.

And yes, sarcasm was intended.

A description of a sudden personality change is an understatement; you had to be there to see the effects of it. Ask one of my friends; she'd tell you how crazy I was. It was so bad that the endorphins hovered around the high and insane levels - for two straight days!

Day One: I sneaked up to the quiet Student Lounge in transit between classes and threw myself into the variety of songs that my computer, Carrie has stored in a special folder. Trust me; I didn't know that all of the students there heard me belting out my vocals.

I ran into the performer that I interviewed for Monster Mic, and he told me about it - how everyone heard my screechy vocals and even sang the chorus of the song I hummed to back to me.

Oh, crap!

Day Two: While we waited for the production team to get Pie Day up and running, that same friend of mine and I froze in the lounge, literally yelled to random songs on my computer. Not only did we shatter the windows and fragile walls, we replaced the melodious tune with our imperfect voice.

I swear, the only people whom I am comfortable with to listen to my vocals are my close friends and the family members. If I've been blessed with angelic voice, I'd have already signed up as a choir member and contributed my part.

Ah, and there's the Pie Day. Well, to those who haven't heard of it, you might ask what it is all about. I'm not too sure about it, but from what I've heard and read, it is the day when students and teachers with the highest monetary votes will have plates of durian pie being thrown at their faces.

The excess money collected will be then channeled to the Council's charity of choice. Heh, I'm going to throw all the votes that I have on Dexter (and maybe, even Kyle) the next time around. It'd be lovely to see them pied again, but it'd even be lovelier if I'm the one throwing the pie at him. >=D

Here is some photographs of the event that I pulled out of my memory card.

I've heard beforehand that if you stand too close, you'd be coated with durian-infused cream instead. And we all know how smelly durian can be, right? That's why I chose to sit on the railing with Faustina, which gave us both an advantage in height and additional safety.

That amount of endorphins drove me way past my curfew to settle the draft of the Congress of Vienna report and sailed me through the entire day, but I almost crashed out during the Sunset Mass due to sleep deprivation. You know, like the saying goes, a little goes a long way, and even that took me until Monday night to print the finalized copy.

Okay, that's about it. I'm off to extract myself from the assignments!
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