Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dumb Ways to Die

Thank you, Leigh, for sharing this video with me.

As it turns out, it's an ad created by The Melbourne Metro Trains on transport safety.

Read more here

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

First Sandwich Day

She may still be a lady who’s never been the best cook in the Carrie household but she knows just about enough around the kitchen to survive one too many lonely meals.

The most I can do is pan-fried omelets that sometimes resemble more like an egg-rible (taken from the word 'terrible') disaster, in addition to boiled rice and noodles and steamed vegetables. The last I attempted stir-fry vegetables, I struggled to clean the burnt pan.

With the leftovers however impregnating the fridge yet once again (inside joke), I figured that I should take the time out and probably whip up some simple sandwiches.

Egg, Ham and Big Onion with Cucumber Sandwich

Egg and Ham with Cucumber Sandwich

I won't upload the recipe just yet but if you want it now, I can email it to you.

Just let me know which recipe you want.

I've never really had to cook a meal for myself as most of the family  meals are taken care of Mama Carrie but since an extended trip to Napa Valley (I'm not exactly heading in that direction and I'd like to keep the exact location a secret for now) will be coming soon, there's no choice but to experiment with recipes while I can find cheaper ingredients.

I might be taking the weekend off since it's my birthday that's rolling around the corner.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Friendly Days

taken on my sunset drive home from somewhere

Something made me pull out "The Best of Me" by Nicholas Sparks from the bookshelf next to the bedside table to read it again today. It was however towards the ending of the book that a conversation between the two characters on reminiscence invoked something familiar.

“Earlier, when the ashes were floating away, do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about the night we were on the dock watching the meteor shower. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden it was like I was there again. I could see us lying on the blanket, whispering to each other and listening to the crickets, that perfect, musical echo. And above us, the sky was just so … alive.” – Amanda Collier speaking to Dawson Cole

I was drawn back to her words and read it again - this time, more carefully - and there it was, the long-forgotten past memory.

We had been exchanging text messages while I was accompanying Mama Carrie for our grocery shopping at Jusco Mid Valley. We rarely shop there, only when its other branches do not a carry a specific item. My sensitive antennas were raised when another text message from mi amigo arrived in my inbox that ran along the lines of watching the stars together and exchanging conversations with banters.

I swear to God, I had forgotten all about it until I read the book. How could I have possibly been thinking about that memory when our friendship has been left hanging on the clothes line for a while now? I’m not saying that this is for the best but what I’m trying to say here is that it’s no fun being left in the headlights, confused and stunned at the way things turned out.

part of last year's Christmas decorations in Curve

If I have to make a guess, it’d have to be time and distance that ruined it all. Honestly, I miss those days when we would drop emails or instant messages for a change at each other’s inbox.

Inasmuch as I’m left the confused one (hey, it’d make a great title for another short story!), I won’t jump the gun and drop a simple Hello. In all my twenty-plus years of existence, I’ve learned to leave friends alone until they come a-looking for me or when I go a-looking for them.

Please don't be mistaken. I'm not sad or emotional, just rather nostalgic.

Monday, November 26, 2012

The volume is up, me and my CD player

I found myself seated next to the music player singing my frustrations away to a diverse collection of songs on the quiet night of Sunday. I had to do it aloud; I felt the annoyance rising to a threatening level. I didn’t care if it sounded screechy or like I was wailing away.

Neither did I care if it annoyed anyone else.

For all I knew, I needed to melt it away before it turned inward into anger and certainly before the fragile doors are injured. I have done it before and am capable of doing it again if I wanted to. It will send shockwaves down people’s spines. (But that was for a different reason, more like telling the former back neighbor that she shouldn’t talk on the phone with her loud voice. Nobody’s interested in the contents of her conversation.)

Then again, I kind of miss my former immediate neighbors. They were a much more understanding lot who left me alone to mind my own business.

Ah, welcome to my life!

Sunday, November 25, 2012


The following story would always be loosely based on his health issue and how it almost mentally broke his wife.

The familiar smell of the hospital slammed into her face as she entered the old wing and could remember how it had offended her stomach on her every visit; how she had bravely went through an ingrown toenail surgery alone; how she enjoyed her three nights’ stay in the ward; how the OT nurses tried their best to soothe her young nerves and more.
    She knew where she headed and slipped into the first elevator that opened.
    There was a pang of familiarity which she tried hard to suppress as she exited, made her way to the Critical Care Unit. Her heart instantly cracked when she saw her friend on the hospital bed with the wires surrounding his weak body. He looked like he had been dragged through purgatory and back with his color faded into a pale grey.
    Tears burnt her eyes as she sat beside him, pressed his limp hands against her forehead with a silent prayer. It had only been yesterday morning that they were together and shared the lovely but expensive breakfast before she left for her business trip out of town.
    When the news arrived at her doorstep, it numbed her to her core and she refused to believe it, denied that it had happened. But now that she was here seated beside him, it was all true.
    His admittance.
    His touch-and-go condition.
    She shook her head, allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks. She knew that she had to be strong and could not tumble in this time of trial and pain but there was a part of her that wanted to scream her lungs out and question God for His actions.
    "Please," she finally croaked. "Please, God, there's only so much I can take but losing him, I cannot take. I'm begging you; please don't take him home with You now. Guide him and us to successfully overcome this obstacle..." 

Three hours later.
    After the discussion with the doctor attending to her love's case, she exited the hospital in a dazed state. The doctor had warned her that if her love does regain consciousness, there was a chance that he would be a vegetable and would no longer be a normal person.
    "And what if he doesn't regain consciousness?" she asked, feared the worst.
    "Then, you might want to consider taking him off life support."

Saturday, November 24, 2012


Imagine, I was so exasperated with the way things had turned out that I literally dreamt of it.

So yeah, mister, if you ever read this, just know that the reason why things aren’t exactly turning out in your direction is because I’ve been praying and praying for my angry soul to be soothed and calmed.

Obvious enough?

I dreamt that when I heard that the real estate agent handling the old house had organized and called for an open house, I saw my chance and went over with a motive in mind. I had nothing to lose; the woman didn’t know of my existence.

I had gone there at night – to be on the safe side because most of the neighbors know me by sight. A lot of interested prospects had turned up and browsed through the house, checking for defects and such.

With nobody in the kitchen, I yanked open the second drawer and threw all of my - it’s mine – kitchen utensils inside the tote bag that I had carried with me. Shooting oblique glances here and there, I pushed it close and resumed the part of just another interested client. >=D

Friday, November 23, 2012

Food Review: Simple Life, Sunway Pyramid

Mama Carrie almost picked up the packet of sushi from Jusco when I spotted the restaurant called Simple Life and told her about Fish’s food review of it.

We were thrown into a dilemma between Simple Life and the next door Garden. But seeing that our stomachs were growling for food, we settled on this restaurant and were given the menus after we choose our table and some time to pick our choice.

I went undercover because I wasn't sure if the management would agree to the sudden food reviews. Certain restaurants have a policy that the food reviewer has to email his/her intentions to them and seek their permission beforehand.

To cut a long story short, I had settled for this:

Bitter Gourd Brown Rice Mee Hoon Soup, RM9.90

The natural colors of the vegetables had been retained after being perfectly cooked to liven up the dish with the goji berries - kei chi in Cantonese - providing the faint hints of red. It unfortunately didn't do much to balance the salty soup.

Mama Carrie had a sip of it and cringed at the taste. I barely tasted the soup as I was more focused on finishing up the vegetables. Which I did, although I couldn't finish the noodles. The portion was a little too big for the starving me, left me craving for sleep after the meal.

I suddenly started sweating profusely, craved for the mall's air-con and looked around. None of the diners having the similar dishes was having the same problem. Oh, boy, it was at that moment that I regretted for not ordering something that was on the cooler side like that plate of spaghetti.

While Mama Carrie settled for that:

Brown Rice Nasi Lemak, RM13.90

When it first arrived, I was envious that she had ordered this dish but as we started eating, her face started to droop downwards. She didn't fancy the dish at all, commented that the rice wasn't properly cooked and the sambal was tad too sweet for her liking.

I reckon she prefers BMS Organic Cafe's version instead.

I'm not sure if I'll return to this restaurant for a second time. Unless I'm spending the day out with friends, I'm rarely at Sunway Pyramid and most of these trips are always at the spur of the moment. Like today.

Hmm, this should be one that Jason Yeoh (from Taste of Jason) introduced on his new program many Sundays ago. I thought I saw the preview... the dishes sure looked similar.

Address: Simple Life,
LG2-12GA, Blue Atrium,
Sunway Pyramid Shopping Mall,
3, Jln PJS 11/15,
Bandar Sunway,
46150 Petaling Jaya,

Landmarks: J&Co Donuts, Garden Restaurant and the entrance to Sunway Lagoon.

Telephone: 03-5611 8596

Website: Simple Life

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Lovey Dovey

Credits to | Nice Houses for the image

It was one hell of a confusing dream that left the mind lopsided for day but I'm not sharing it either. .

The second dream went like this. I dreamt that we had a nice, delicious dinner that was cooked by him before we cuddled next to each other on the couch in the cold, night air as we caught some TV episodes.

I'm not sure what to make out of it because it's not even supposed to happen now. Bleh, as Steff said, it's the tired, overworked mind wanting some entertainment of its own. Maybe it's time for yet another fictional short story then. =D

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


I was thrown awake by someone’s – who else – sharp voice in the early morning and my brain’s too tired to even try to force itself to remember the full contents of the dream.

But here it goes. The remnants of the dream.

I dreamt that we – identities known in real life – had arranged to meet at one of those fancy restaurants in a place that resembled Sri Hartamas or Bangsar, couldn’t make out.

Who would have thought that I’ll be the one who picked up the tab? I did, anyway, and it pinched my wallet to the point of strangulation. As if that wasn’t enough, I almost got lost with the confusing traffic signs on the drive home.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

羅嘉良/吳鎮宇/張可頤/宣萱 - 難兄難弟 [100]

This is the theme song for the 1997 TVB series, "Old Time Buddy".

It wasn't until yesterday during TVB's 45th Anniversary Gala that I was reminded of this song again.

I think this is the only TVB theme song that I can remember after all these years.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Food Review: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Subang Parade

CBTL merchandises - from cups to stirrer to the coffee machines -  up for sale


With an aching paw, I limped towards the barista and placed my order with her, enquired about the member card but there’s no rush to it. I’ll get that done with at another time.

After I collected my order from another barista and placed them on the table where we sat at, I literally dumped my weight on the couch and immediately changed into flats, leading Leigh along too. Thank God there were no blisters. Whew.

Now, before I bore you with my words, let's look at the pictures instead.

L to R: Iced Blended Berry'D Treasure at RM13.00 (S); Chicago Cheesecake at RM9.50 per slice

Berry’d Treasure froze my teeth at the first sip at that split second and left me speechless while I figured it all out. It carried to it a sweet and sour taste but more towards sour.

Chicago Cheesecake, as Leigh commented, had the lemony tang to it.

I don’t usually have this variation of the iced blended; more of a chocolate or vanilla fan but the last drink had given me a bad sore throat to deal with. I love their cappuccino too but it’s just that I was craving for a cold drink at that time.

I would always go for Chicago Cheesecake whenever I have the chance to stop by the nearest café; I have loved the taste all these years. And if it’s sold out, only then will I ask for another type.... and it will most likely be the Berry Cheesecake – the sweeter one.

The F&B section

Blame Papa Carrie for it. Who asked him to introduce the Iced Blended on the cold, winter's night at aged 7 at the same cafe?

The barista area (and that'd be Leigh's fingers. xD)

Another angle of the seating area

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf,
Ground Floor,
Subang Parade

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Emotional Endorphines


With what had happened that morning, I shall openly admit that I'm not the best driver in town but I'm not the worst driver in town either! I've seen drivers who are far, far worse than me.

I was more than exasperated when the lady in black refused to budge and break the traffic congestion even after the Myvi - driven by a young lad, mind you - showed his color at her but she instead chose to dump the weight smack dead in the middle of the road and wait ... but wait for who? But what pushed me over the edge was her insistence on blocking the way for the cars coming from the opposite direction and literally stole my parking. Of all people, mine!

It's never in me to do what I actually did for the fear of my own safety but I guess it leaked out. I gave the lady a lioness's stare, which frightened her because she sat waiting in her car for me to disappear far, far away before she was even willing to step out.

As for the man who kept slamming his honks in annoyance for my actions, geez, I never even gave the lady the finger or yelled my head off at her. I'm not my parents. Live and let live, man. It's not like you've not stolen other people's parking spot before.

And it's not like my actions have meant the death of something or someone. The only downside is that you have to spend more time searching for another vacant parking bay which might be further away than the intended one. But trust me, I had to drive back down the hill and up again when I couldn't find a vacant parking bay.

So, swallow it with a pinch of salt.

I won’t splash any more annoyance and exasperation here as I was under the weather.

The original plan had been to meet up at Empire followed by the Deepavali out together but Mama Carrie suddenly stepped in with another suggestion, which we both agreed upon and executed since it was on the way back. I guess I’m unfamiliar with the place because I actually missed the entrance to the meeting place.

Heh, told you I'm not the best driver in town.

I never could understand the hype over bubble tea. It’s just red tea with fresh milk and black pearls. And sweet. Guess the person who bought me that cup forgot to ask the barista for extra less sugar.

With that behind in the past memory, I bought a cup and sampled it for myself. The cashier had asked me for the topping but I eventually decided that I’ll scratch on it and have it plain as it is. Ciana just doesn’t fancy those QQ (chewy) pearls.

Kiwi and Strawberry Fruit Jelly (or Tea, I can't remember; never had the chance to keep the receipt), RM 5.90

The verdict?

It didn’t taste special; it tasted surprisingly normal with the taste of the strawberry overpowering the kiwi. Perhaps it’s supposed to be the sweet-and-sour type of a drink. It’s common sense; strawberry can be both sweet and sour and the kiwi, well, it’s sour.

If I’m ever having bubble tea again, I need to go for the ones that allow me to request for a 70% sugar reduction. No wonder my molar tooth felt like it’s falling off…

Sigh, I would have wished if Toys ‘R Us had sold the Blue’s Clues-related merchandise. I really missed the show in its original language and wouldn’t mind buying “Blue” or “Magenta” as an early birthday present. Almost wanted to buy a present for someone’s birthday, but suddenly realized that there’s an ample time for me to search for that perfect present. No, no, not Leigh’s birthday.

Leigh suddenly suggested out of the blue to browse through Popular and we were both elated when we learnt that the clearance sale wasn’t just limited to the members. I had intended on buying home a book even without the sale, but since it’s open for all, why not? She didn’t buy anything but a Japanese anime DVD, but I bought two books on impulse instead.

1. “The Best of Me” by Nicholas Sparks
2. “Late Night Talking” by Leslie Schnur

And these, in addition to the rest of the items I have, will follow me when I’m packing up for the departure to Napa Valley.

Spent the whole afternoon yesterday reading "The Best of Me" but being me, I like to skip all the way to the epilogue to learn of the ending before I read the book from scratch again.

You want to know the spoiler? Nay, but what I'll mention is that the secret that Katie had tried her best to keep eventually revealed itself and confronted her. 

Again, I managed to squeeze a bit of time to read the book but it didn't leave me enthusiastic. Mind you, if you're going to buy this book, just be aware that there are the dreaded four-letter word inside.

I observed that the character didn't live the life that she had planned for herself and instead landed a job that was far, far from her expectations.

[Screams out loud, "Oh my goodness, I forgot to save the draft copy! Allow me to yell out loud for my carelessness, thank you."]

Ah, that's better.

Sorry about it, let's continue...

Because we couldn’t find any more interesting shops to browse, we crossed the street and landed in Subang Parade. If you’ve not known about it, Empire is the smaller but upscale neighborhood mall whereas Parade is the oldest mall in the district with lots of history to boot – good and bad.

I wasn’t sure if Leigh’s feet hurt from the heels but mine certainly hurt. And I eventually gave up, allowed the pain to show in my walking. If you were there, I walked as if I was limping. I really thought that I was earning myself blisters – and we would have had it if it weren’t for the timely footwear change at Coffee Bean. Not that we were starving. (I’ll have more on that in another post.)

With full stomachs and in comfortable footwear, we headed off to the first fashion store we could find and I happened to notice Blook. It had caught my attention the last time I was in the upscale neighborhood of Bangsar for some work-related stuff but never really took a good look at the items they carried.

Seeing that there was a sale going on inside, we ventured inside and browsed through their racks. I figured that I would window shop and shortlist the list of pieces that I like before I return again with Mama Carrie to pick up the tab but who knew that instead of that happening, I fell in love with two pieces of shirt and had a tough time choosing it due to its price and maintenance? In the end, I decided that I’d take the one with less maintenance but I felt the pinch when I paid RM69 for it.

So many days later, I’m still not sure if it was worth the splurge. Books and magazines are alright, because I can have it claimed. Don’t ask me why and how, I won’t tell, but if you do a bit of researching, you can find the answer. >=D

I’m still wondering how to explain it to Mama Carrie when I take it back from Leigh on our next outing together. Mama Carrie doesn’t like me splurging on clothes without her there because she feels that my fashion sense has always been out of the roof. Trust me; I have gone out far too many times in attires that were a failed attempt on mix-and-match.

She’s somewhat like my fashion adviser.

I took after Papa Carrie, all right. We both don’t know how to mix and match the right pieces together.

But then again, it can be considered as an early birthday present.

Heh, I’ll figure that out when the time comes. And yes, Ciana's birthday is on the way.

As if that wasn’t enough, while Leigh was at Dorothy Perkins trying on some pieces, I slid to Seed where I found two pieces of clothing that I like: a cardigan and a white shirt with black decorations but I settled for the shirt because I can’t afford to splash another 70 bucks on clothing again.

As surprising as it was, the outing had temporarily settled the nerves that had built up from the neighborhood stress.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Teenager's Rebellion

I was inspired by Huai Bin's post on being a brat and instantly thought I should spill a little secret that not many people are aware of.

A lot of relatives and adult friends have always been under the impression that Ciana's the forever obedient daughter who listens to every word without fail but please, please take a seat and allow me to explain myself with the truth.

Sure, I was obedient to my parents. More obedient than obedient. I even followed in whatever direction they told me to go. Like the Chinese sentence, if they told me to go east, I won't dare to go west.

That was the case until I hit puberty.

It was hell for my parents, not so much for me.

I would scream and argue with my parents over the pettiest things as loud as I could and even threatened Papa Carrie - my own father - that I no longer wanted to be associated with him because I was fed up of living in a family like this. He threatened back that fine, go ahead and live up to your word. And I said, you wait and see. I will do it! But it was all said in a fit of anger. I however can't remember what triggered my words.

There was even that one time when I wondered if I was really the biological daughter or if my biological parents were somewhere else because their behaviors didn't resemble loving parents.

Things have improved now, really. Even though the temper that had flared into life is still there, we'd usually throw our tempers on the table and uncover the reason(s) behind our displeasure. Whenever adult friends or acquaintances compliment that Mama Carrie has done a good job in raising this brat, we'll both roll our eyes and she'll say that don't be fool, (I) can be a lioness at home.

Which is somewhat true.

I know there are times when my parents have wished that they had a gentle, well-mannered daughter instead of a brat for a daughter. We're still however a close-knit family.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Eyes of Faith?

You see, I had caught wind of the supposed apparition of Mother Mary many days ago (hence this tweet of mine) and even passed by SJMC - now known as SDMC - yesterday on the way back, but didn't intend on paying a visit because I wasn't even sure if it was really real.

Mama Carrie literally dragged me there.

"On this day, O Beautiful Mother...."

The huge crowd that turned up in curiosity and humility to observe the apparition. Surprisingly, a couple of non-Catholics turned up too.

Here's the actual picture. You'll have to zoom in real close to see it.

The image will be on the third window on your right.

I'm not sure if you can see it but if you look closely, you can see the long queue of cars, waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

The amount of parked cars. There are not so many cars parked at the roadside on a normal, given day. I know this because I still have friends living there and visit them on a frequent basis.

And did I mention that I'm from here too?

Anyway, I'm patiently waiting for the Church's official comment on this. Until the window glass arrives in Church of Our Lady of Lourdes, Klang, you can swing by SDMC if you want to see it with your own eyes. A word of note, though. If you're going, bring along the best binoculars you can find and the best camera you have.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sinking - faster than you can call my name

Imagine the neighbors' fury and horror if and when I blast these songs on the stereo at a loud volume.

"Angel Eyes" was the first ABBA song that I fell in love with.

The warehouse store that we had patronized was playing this on their player and naturally, Mama Carrie inquired, found the The Definitive Collection album (which unfortunately cracked on its flight here).

For an innocent 11-year-old, to fall in love with "Knowing Me, Knowing You" and "The Winner Takes It All" is weird when it talks about the demise of a relationship. But I did.

And still love these two songs until today. 

Listening to this song again many years down the line has associated itself with someone in the past memory.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Frustrated Shelby

Shelby was deep asleep, enjoyed yet another trip to Dreamland when she was jolted awake by the conversations that the neighbors were involved in. She forced herself up and shot a glance at the bedside clock, rolled her eyes at their inconsideration. Instead of returning to sleep, she however stayed on the bed instead and figured that the neighbors will come to their senses and head off for the night, thus allowing her some peace.
    When the conversations however grew louder and accompanied by wailings, she could no longer hold it together and rose, yanked open her window. She couldn’t care less; she had been controlling herself from blaring at the neighbor ever since ear-deafening noises came from their house day and night.
    She wanted to vent her frustrations and smack some sense into their brains once and for all.
    She craned her neck out. “Eh,” she yelled at the top of her voice. “Who the hell do you think you are, making so much noise at this ungodly hour? It’s three-thirty, not six-fifteen!”
    The neighbor looked up at her, expression blank.
    “Why, you lack common sense! People want their sleep. Silence up now or I’m calling the cops.”
    It was merely a threat; it wasn’t like they wouldn’t believe her but it worked.
    “Okay,” the neighbor finally spoke, “okay.”
    “And one more thing, ask the children to behave themselves. Hearing them scream – no, yell – their lungs out is exasperating all of us! If you don’t, I’ll put you through the same… torture, which I’m capable of doing.”
    The neighbor nodded. “Okay.”
    Shelby yanked close the window with such force that the grille rattled with fear and sent a shock down that neighbor’s spine.
    It was never in her character to vent at someone in this way or even yell in their faces but desperate times called for desperate measures.
    It was not long after the vents that it became peaceful again. The neighbor, probably out of fear, finally called it a night and silenced his children.

Sigh, only if the venting will happen in real life.

Thursday, November 8, 2012


Previous: The Damage That Never Could Be Undone

The highly-awaited finale to Casey and Marie.

Now that Casey sat at his dressing table after the day’s events with only the table lamp to illuminate the room, his thoughts drifted to Marie yet once again in after so long, unaware that she was thinking of him at the same time.
    It was in the third year of the relationship that the feeling of wanting to settle down arrived at his door. And with Marie’s birthday just around the corner, he had planned an elaborate surprise. He had treated it like any other year and gave nothing away, instead whisked her away for a stay in one of the expensive water resorts and treated her to a spa package, which raised her suspicions but she said nothing.
    They took an evening walk under the sunset around the resort, capturing their moments together and of the beautiful water scenery on pictures.
    “It’s one of those rare days that we’re able to take time off from our hectic schedule and stop to breathe and relax.”
   To her surprise, Casey pulled her close and kissed her cheek.
   “It’s your birthday, Marie.” He smiled. “The birthday girl deserves her well-needed break from her work.”
   “Thank you, Case. I really appreciate it.”
   The conversation faded off into the distance when Marie stopped, took a shot of the sea ahead of her. She loved this place too much that she wanted to return here for their wedding or their honeymoon but wasn’t sure if Casey was on the same page, brought it up.
   She looked up at him. “Case, can I ask something?”
   “Sure,” he replied, his eyes on his camera lens and ready to snap a picture. “Go ahead.”
   “Do you love this place?”
   “I won’t say I love, but I like it. Why?”
   “Would it bleed us to the core if we hold our wedding here? Or return here for our honeymoon?”
   He stopped short in his actions. “We’ll have to inquire with the event manager first, my dear.”
   “But are you open to the idea?”
   “Sure, why not? It’d be lovely!”
   Seeing his moment, he kept the camera in his pocket and unearthed the little red box that contained it and hid it behind his back when Marie wasn’t looking.
   “Marie, there’s something I want to ask you,” he began.
   She turned to face her boyfriend. “What’s that, Case?”
   “I’m sorry I didn’t prepare a bouquet of rose flowers and even though you don’t fancy flowers, I hope you don’t mind.” With that being said, he suddenly knelt on one knee with the cover of the little box opened.
   Her free hand flew to her mouth as a wave of shock engulfed her while she tried to digest the sudden surprise.
   And as luck would have it, a crowd suddenly gathered around them for that romantic moment.
   “Marie Winters, would you marry me?”
   Those words sent tears rolling down her face and she could only nod her head, agreed. A big grin broke out on his face as Casey rose to his full height, inserted the ring into her left ring finger before the couple exchanged a kiss and a hug.

As the execution of the wedding proposal played in his mind, he sighed, wondered where he had went wrong in the relationship to deserve such a treatment. A sudden ringing of his cell phone however broke through into his thoughts at that moment and he picked up the call, suspected nothing.
    "It's me," the caller replied.
    The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Neither did he expect her to keep his number nor ring him up after all these months when she could enjoyed a night out with her beau instead.
    “Can we meet up?”
    "Why don't we talk on the phone instead?"
    He heard a sigh. "It's about us.... and I have to repent for my wrongs."
    He sighed, considered the suggestion. She sounded genuine in her request but he wasn't sure if he was ready to forgive and forget.
    "All right," he spoke and gave the time and place to meet.
    Once he was sure she had the time and place agreed upon, he killed the call.

It was never in his character to play anyone out but he thought exactly that at the last minute, leaning against his car opposite the park. Facing her would mean sweeping up the ache that had traumatized the last six months of his life.   
    But Marie was ten minutes behind schedule and was nowhere to be seen.
    Stella's words surfaced in his mind as he waited, debated on staying or leaving.
    You'll have to face the matter between you and Marie eventually and straighten things out. If you two come out of it as friends, it's good but if it turns south, it's just as fine. At least you've given it a shot.
   He suddenly caught a glimpse of Marie pacing towards the park and caught up with her.

He realized that his friend had been right all along. Making the decision to meet his former fiance after the disengagement had proved beneficial for both parties. The remaining ache and burden in his heart had slowly melted away, allowed him to genuinely wish her the future that awaited her and him to move on in search of the happiness that he truly deserved.
    It also allowed Marie to rid herself of the guilt that had haunted her.
    "I don't know if I'm able to forgive you now, Marie." He sadly smiled. "Only time with tell."
    "I'm so sorry, Casey." Marie caressed his face. She had, by now, already lost count on the amount of times she had apologized. "I don't know what got onto me. I won't dare to seek your forgiveness since the betrayal I caused was so deep. But promise me one thing, Case, appreciate what you have with Stella and make it work though."
    "There's something you should know. Stella and I were never together, merely good friends to start with."
    "Don't blame her; it was my idea that we hooked up to turn the table on you."
    "Oh, man." She reached out and embraced her in a hug, surprised him. "Well, then. I hope you'll meet your lady of your dreams and have eternal happiness with her."
    She looked at the sky above them and burst into silent, buried tears, fully knowing that this was the last time that she will see Casey.

The End.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


On a cold, rainy day like this, the lyricist in me is resurfacing from its hiding place after so many months of hiatus. Sitting by the bay window with the blanket providing my paws with warmth and throwing my deepest emotions into a song and a hot drink within reach; ah, it's an intoxicating thought.

Why do I feel like the rain will carry my worries and fears away when it leaves? Like it will wash away the pain and the sadness away and return to me a clean, polished heart?

And with it comes a heart willing to love again but with caution.

Don't look at me; I'm not the one whose heart has been deeply hurt. Yes, I might have been hurt and betrayed but nothing related to love or relationships.

Perhaps I've thrown too much into writing the story of Casey and Marie.

Perhaps I feel that he has done nothing to deserve this.

There's however a third possibility.

Perhaps the rain has brought my mind back to a conversation with Bya years ago about "The First Cut is The Deepest" by Rod Stewart.


There's always a fear whenever the skies have chosen to open their dams and send buckets after buckets full of rain because the chances of flash floods are damn high. It'll knock out the innocent car engines yet I keep running into them; it's already the fifth time in two different places. 

How long are we to bear with the heavy rain and flash floods?

The reason I'm not pleased at all is because the rain has temporarily suspended the electricity supply twice. I was attending Sunset Mass when it happened the first time and let me tell you, it caused such unnecessary stress - with us trying to open the automatic gate manually, the barking dog and the neighbor waiting to slam their door again.

(We are mere mortals, not saints. Please spare the action.)

What do you think of this scene?

"My face is soiled. Standing in the middle of the rain, everything that I’m living for and holding together is crumbling – brick by brick. My legs are jellified; it knocks me down. I’m kneeling on the wet pavement, yelling my wounded heart out in tears."

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Friday, November 2, 2012

Come, now is the time to worship

I don’t know if I should be writing this post at all seeing that it will hit a couple of folks straight to their cores. But on another hand, I probably should jump at the risk and take it from there.

As most Catholics know, today is All Souls Day (or The Commemoration of The Faithful Departed, depending on which you’re accustomed to), another day of obligation for grieving families.

When the video on abortion was shown in substitute of the Homily, it left the parishioners aghast at the graphic images. Some couldn’t bear the thought and turned their heads away; some gasped in horror while others like me watched in silence with red, teary eyes. If you had shot a glance at my hands, you’d noticed that I had pressed my hands together until it almost went white.

Yeah, that bad.

For someone who has already learned a little on abortion and its post-operation trauma/consequences from those PCS-related articles, it was still tough watching it. It completely messed up with my mind that it was tough concentrating on Mass after that; almost missed the response for the Agnus Dei.

I think what the Celebrant meant is that we should appreciate life, even at conception. (Oh, boy, I hope Father doesn't come across this post. I don't want to be quoted. >.<)

But then again, with the events that transpired after Mass, it’s relieving to know that my mind was still with me. You see, those closest to me know how my mind can zone out in the snap of a finger. It also reminds me that I’ll have to brush up on my rustic rusty Cantonese. I'm a banana gang member, all right.
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