Sunday, December 3, 2017

Crying all alone under the stars

Note: the title post is part of the lyrics of 'Travelin' Soldier' by Dixie Chicks.

After a torturous semester, I now have updates - let’s make that two - for you guys.

#1: Now that I’m reflecting on the semester, there were some moments that I loved and disliked. The course that I wanted to enroll in was finally offered. I knew that it would be hectic, but I went for it with full confidence that it won’t get any worse than that. I mean, having three rest days to catch up on the backdated work and take a breather could have easily compensated me for the bullet train speed.

And worse, it did.

The first half of the semester drained me so much that I struggled to convince myself to attend the Corporate tutorials. The expression on his face was similar to the one that I saw in someone’s eyes before college graduation: a masked annoyance at the coincidence. I’m always able to suppress the fears or worries whenever I’m in class, but this safety blanket barely worked for Corporate. Let’s just say that my emotions and the lack of adequate diversion suddenly got in the way of the academic goals. I looked at the formative assessment with such confusion that I told myself not to hope for much for the overall grade. It was better to work for the best that I can get while expecting the unexpected.

I definitely pushed myself a little over the breaking point - until the ADR presentation took a beating. Although I survived the battle (in short, I passed everything), I didn’t emerge unscathed. My psyche feels such weighed down that I’m in need for any type of vacation that allows me a quiet environment to crash for 12 - 14+ hours. I’m also in need for some cardio exercise that will clear the congested brain in preparation for the final year’s crazy schedule.

#2: I’m sure you’d have seen snippets of it splashed on the blog and Twitter account, but let’s make this the official announcement, shall we? What took me 5 - 6 years of writing and two plot changes has finally arrived to this. What saw me swimming in memories and left me with an aching heart has also finally arrived to this.

Remember how I mentioned in a couple of posts ago that I’m tying up the loose ends for my e-book? Here’s the link: . Some elements of my time in college has been woven into certain parts of the plot, but in a fictional way. The plot involves a slight twinge of heartbreak, a dash of betrayal, and a splash of the unexpected.

I’m not going to reveal anything more than that, so if you’d like to read more (i.e. the blurb, short summary and a sample of the manuscript) or purchase the e-book in its entirety, head on over to the link - and let me know what you think about it.

Depending on how things go, I might continue moonlighting as a writer.


  1. Congrats! What a feeling to have it completed. I'll check it out later this evening when I have a little more time to spare.

    1. Thanks! There's no hurry at all. Hope you like it - and feedbacks are welcome =)

    2. I just think it's so cool that you've finally done it! Published! Congratulations. Even though I've never met you in person, I feel so proud. ;-)

    3. Thank you, thank you! I know right... it was a pain to juggle the manuscript and the penultimate year's course workload, but I guess it's all worth it. =)

  2. It did sound like such a hectic semester for you and the Corporate tutorials weren't easy at all. When you get to the feeling that you want a vacation where you can just crash or lie down or go to bed for most of the day, you know that you pushed yourself quite far or experienced some kind of stress. That's how I feel these days with life: I go to work, come home, do things on the homefront, blog or write, catch up websites I want to check out etc. and then go to bed...each day is long and when the weekend or days off roll around, I just want to lie in my bed and maybe watch some YouTube if I can open my eyes for longer than a few minutes. I've also heard some people say that if you are keen on lying around for that long, it's a sign of depression.

    Congrats on your book. It comes out at time when you are busy and trying to manage your course and living abroad. Hoping to check it out when time permits. You should be very proud of yourself, a creative breakthrough and milestone :)

    1. I guess it was my own fault, Mabel. ADR was on a Tuesday morning and Corporate was a couple of hours after that. With the workload before me, I'm still wondering how I gave myself a surprise for Corporate.

      'When you get to the feeling that you want a vacation where you can just crash or lie down or go to bed for most of the day, you know that you pushed yourself quite far or experienced some kind of stress.' - Academic stress is still manageable for me, but it's the emotional stress that makes everything worse. I don't think I've depression... maybe I'm just drained from everything that has happened in the past year or so.

      Thanks once again! I think I'll be prouder if I'm able to get one published through a publisher, lol. XP

    2. Really hate it when someone has to say it's their own fault. I've been there before, taking on too much and crashing and burning later on. But I still think there is always room for time management... With your law degree, it comes across as quite technical and so I'm guessing it can be hard to digest.

      I read somewhere that almost everyone in their lives will experience some kind of depression. Certainly it's different from stress, and maybe it really is just emotional stress you have. In between all you got going on school-wise, it's amazing you still got to blog (the book is amazing on another whole level!) and really am very glad to have connected with you this year :)

    3. It is true, though. It takes the careful balance between time and other matters. If there is not enough time to catch one's breath, then the dangers of ill-health would be significantly increased. As for the law degree, it actually depends on the courses. Some can be quite technical whereas some aren't.

      Really? I'd love to have a read of the article, if you happen to keep a copy/link of it. I'd like to believe that it's emotional stress more than anything else, though. Oh, the blog's an outlet for me. =) I tend to do some crazy stuff when the stress goes inward.

    4. Health is wealth, as cheesy at it sounds. Now that I'm older and have been working for a bit, I find late nights are catching up wit me :/

      There isn't a particular study that says all of us will get depression. More like what I've read says we experience different kinds of it:

    5. I guess people have experienced the brutal side of health that led them to say that health is wealth. :) I guess that's a sign that we're all growing older by the year.

      Thanks for the links, Mabel! =)


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