The Official End

Issuance of the Death Certificate 

A funeral home would be able to assist with this as they would lodge an application at the nearest National Registration Department on your behalf. However, if you are in a rush, it's advisable to apply yourself as the next of kin. The department's more likely to issue the certificate earlier when the applicant is the deceased's next of kin—or that was what I heard. 

So, if you intend to apply personally, visit the NRD's website for the specific checklist before you head over with the documents. You could save the extra time of going back and forth repeatedly. 

For me, since I was paying the funeral home, I figured it would be better to let them handle everything as they are the experienced folks. It took quite a while, but it didn't matter as I was able to wait. (I honestly didn't want to run around, nor did I have the patience to do so.) 

That said, before you proceed to get the death certificate, ensure that you have copies of the deceased's IC. The NRD would destroy the original IC once the death certificate is issued (to prevent fraud, I'm sure.). 

And yes, it's always better to have extra copies lying around. 

Once you have the original death certificate, the first port of call is to have copies of this document before storing it in a safe place. You'd need it virtually for everything bearing the deceased's name—cancellation of accounts, cancellation of prepayments, and the grant of probate/letter of administration for properties, among others. (As for the grant of probate/letter of administration, you're better off dealing with the lawyer on this. Even better, do it when the deceased is still alive and has legal capacity to make uninfluenced decisions.) 

Any supplementary documents bearing the deceased's name shouldn't be destroyed as long as they used to own properties while alive. It'd be safer to prove their identity and ownership that way, too. 

Final Thoughts 

It'd be much better to deal with matters of death while the deceased is still alive. Trust me, a lot of unnecessary headaches can be avoided.

The Hospital Dream

I dreamt that I worked in an environment similar to a hospital, but my colleagues and I were in different departments. Then, as we were heading in from the entrance, we saw that there was a crowd surrounding a certain area of the hospital. Someone shared that when they walked past one of the rooms, they overheard a man and a woman arguing at the top of their lungs due to personal matters.

Photo by Freguesia de Estrela on Unsplash
That was why we weren't exactly surprised when we heard that the deceased committed suicide, as we connected the dots. Though we were sad, we were not close to the deceased.

The camera then panned to the next scene.

I thought I had lost my keys in the locker when I was clocking out. Someone—I don't know who—clad in a bath towel and hair towel reminded me that I might have misplaced it when I had a shower and a change of clothes. She even offered to help me locate the keys.

Photo by Ray Sison on Unsplash

At the end of the workday, I was dragged by someone—let's call him Guy A—as we ran toward the train station. It felt very much like the NYC subway, but we ended up detouring to the bus station for reasons unknown to me. We found another passenger—let's call him Guy B—in his trenchcoat, seated below a board indicating the station name hammered into the brick wall.

Then, the scene panned to someone's home where we were seated around a round table, deep in a discussion as we planned a hangout after work or during our mutual off-days. However, I had to collect parcels on the day that they had in mind.

Guy A even suggested to lose the contact lenses and wear my glasses more often.

So, here we go for the dream interpretation.

For the scene where I was entering the hospital grounds, it's possible that I'm assisting others to recover from whatever hell they are going through at this point in time. The dream website proceeded to elaborate that "each scenario holds a mirror to your inner world, challenging you to reflect on whether you're in need of healing or offering it to others".

This actually is in line with what I have read about astrology and dates of birth. 

Oh, about the scene where I lost my keys, I wouldn't be surprised if this is the main theme of the dream. The dream website indicated that "losing your keys in a dream can symbolize feelings of frustration and anxiety. You may feel like you are losing control or that you are not able to find your way. This dream may also be a warning from your subconscious to pay attention to your surroundings and be more careful with your belongings".

The same website also clarified that "losing a key means that an informal dispute with someone will upset you. This will hurt deeply and you will not be able to find understanding among your loved ones. The same dream can portend the loss of an important opportunity..."

Bull's eye, I must say.

Not only do I feel like I am lost in life, but I am starting to misplace the very exact thing - keys. Yes, keys. It also never helped that, thanks to a misunderstanding/dispute, I have severed ties with one side of the family's relatives, too.

As for the kind soul—the one clad in a bath towel and hair towel—who asked what happened, ChatGPT mentioned that this could symbolize vulnerability, cleansing, or transition when read together with the loss of keys, yet it might also mean that my unknown side has been projected in terms of matters of the heart.

For the scene with the subway passenger sitting against the brick wall beneath the signboard, I think what ChatGPT meant is that this figure represents a passive observer—or a part of me that feels helpless—trying to reach out, but held back by obstacles and limitations.

From Where Do We Move Forward

Issuance of the Death Certificate

Let's say that you decide to engage the services of the funeral home for the burial or cremation. There would be a chance that the funeral director would ask whether you'd like them to handle the paperwork or if you'd want to liaise with the National Registration Department.

I guess it depends on how soon you need the death certificate. It's advisable to do it yourself if you are in a rush to get the document, although be prepared with the list of required documents (head to the NRD's website for the updated checklist) and the time needed to travel to the department. Getting the mortician to do it works just as fine, but it would take some time to file the application instead.

Regardless of which option you select, ensure that you have copies of the deceased's IC, especially since the NRD would require you to hand in the original IC with the application for the death certificate.

I can't fully remember how long it would take for the certificate to be issued, but I'm sure you'd be notified once it's ready for collection.

Use of the Death Certificate

With the original death certificate in hand, ensure that you have copies of this, as it is evidence that the person's already… well, deceased. As long as you are dealing with anything that is under the deceased's name (yes, even if there is a will), this is the required proof.

It also enables the wills & probate lawyer to proceed with the application for the issuance of the grant of probate (if a will has been drafted and registered when the deceased was still a fit and proper person) or letter of administration (when a will is absent). I won't delve much into these two, as a lawyer would be in a better position to advise you.

On another note, if the deceased has a living spouse (or ex-spouse), ensure that the death certificate has been safely kept along with the marriage/divorce certificate. Should you need to deal with the government department, it would come in handy to ascertain your connection to the deceased.

Dreams of Emotions

Here we go.

Photo by Ajin K S on Unsplash
I dreamt that I was seated on the balcony attached to a room, enjoying the silence provided by the day. Yet, instead of being able to see my environment, I ended up staring at a concrete slab (a brick wall) painted white.

At the end was a deep, murky floodwater as high as the wall itself. Just a bit more, and the water would gush forth into the room and ruin everything in its wake.

Yet, I was indifferent, choosing to calmly return to the room, shutting the sliding door close behind me. The room was also in white and lacked furniture, looking more like a living room rather than a bedroom.

Since I can only remember this segment of the dream, it will be difficult to pen my thoughts on this, as there's only so much to work with..

If I must venture a guess, the murky waters are a representation of my feelings. I won't deny it; my feelings are all over the place right now-between the work stress and the negative news that have been piling up, there's only so much I can stomach at one go.

Maybe it's also an indication that I'm close to my limit, and just a tad bit more will send me into a nervous/emotional breakdown. In an attempt to prevent the collapse, my subconscious is nudging me to address those issues while there's still time.

The indifference? It might also be a representation of my current emotions. There's a good amount of detachment and apathy towards certain matters, to the point where I'm questioning if I'm emotionally blunted or en route to depression. Heh, I should listen to my subconscious and express those emotions through exercise instead of swimming with it.

Better yet, take a well-earned vacation interstate or abroad.

Bodies of Water

If I'm being honest, this could be in direct correlation with the previous post. Or maybe my brain is so stressed from work that it's protesting, craving some time out, leading to such a dream.

I dreamt that we were in a super bright place (read: and I mean, really bright. The kind where you'll be blinded by it). It wasn't a huge place, but rather, it was a brick-and-mortar store with a welcome counter that could be seen as soon as you set foot inside.

It was after the rain, so it made things a tad bit messier. Near the entrance was an Ikea bag full of towels, indicative that the place is a hotel or deals with accommodation. We were all huddled around the place while I leaned against the concrete structure, aptly painted white.

Not only was the atmosphere full of petrichor, but some of us were drenched, having been surprised by the sudden downpour.

Then, the camera panned to the upper floors of the place where the rooms were. Much to my surprise, two resident Shih Tzus came running over, greeting me and roaming freely. They were definitely welcoming me in their own special way. (Ngaw! So kwute!)

Even as I walked ahead, one of the Tzus clung to me. I spotted an open kitchen available for the guests to use. The way it was designed gave off a warm vibe, as if encouraging people to gather around for small chats or homemade meals.

The housekeeping team also busied itself with ensuring that everything was available and accessible. Looking down at the furry four-legged, I noticed that one of them clung to me while the other one remained near the housekeeping team and continuously barked at me.

After that, we found ourselves driving past this lush greenery with a lake.

Not too far away was a graveyard, giving off a peaceful feeling to all visitors and passersby alike. A bridge connected one part of the area to the headstones, and a building sat behind the greenery.

Okay, I'll be candor. The Shih Tzus in the dream? They are the extra replicas of the ones I had in real life when I was younger. I have no idea whether it is my subconscious reflecting its true feelings through them—or them visiting me in spirit.

The one clinging to me? That's Big Fat for you. He never exactly glued himself to me in real life, preferring his actual owners over me. Yet, he would look for me to satiate his cravings… for milk. A specific Kiwi brand, at that.

The one barking at me? That's Gangster Girl. She might have behaved like a hyper-independent child who knew how to play her cards, but that didn't mean she disliked me, though.

The lush greenery?

This might be universe's way of telling me that I've slowly recovering from the hurt that has weighed me down over the years, thus allowing me the emotional peace that my subconscious desperately needs. However, on the flip side, it could also mean that I'm craving for a break.

The lake itself? Well, it's water, and water is usually associated with peace. I'll presume that this could be a revelation that I'm about to gain balance in my waking hours. I mean, I'm not someone who intentionally seeks bodies of water, though I've been reminiscent about a specific memory of the past.

Could this lake be referring to that? The happier times?

Oh, the graveyard. Yeah, a part of me suspects that it might be me undergoing a period of transformation or letting go of something. If you ask me, it has to be that specific memory. I've wondered, on and off over the years, whether things would have changed had the variables been different.

Now that I know the other party's happy and stable, I have been toying with the idea of a silent departure. Not the literal meaning of the word, but rather fading into the background.

That said, there's another reason why I'd dream of a graveyard, but it's one that I'd rather not discuss publicly. It would bring in its wake a lot of unnecessary questions.

From Where Do We Leave

Although this isn't my first rodeo, it still packed enough of a punch to knock me off my feet into a state of confusion. Basically, today's post will touch on the topic of the death and burial of a loved one.

Adelaide Fringe, 2018

Death in the Hospital

In all honesty, it is easier on the loved ones if the deceased takes their final breath in the hospital. The necessary paperwork would be conducted with their assistance, including the issuance of an official death certificate.

That's when the postmortem comes into play.

At this stage, the next of kin (usually the spouse or registered emergency contact) would be notified. That way, they can arrange for a mortician to schedule a wake service and/or a direct cremation.

The body is usually released once the postmortem has been completed (provided the cause of death isn't suspicious), but is subjected to the signing of the release forms and the identification of the deceased.

(P.S. My memory of the process of claiming the body from the hospital is rather fuzzy. It's been years since I last dealt with this.)

The mortician would then bring the body back to the funeral home for cosmetic preparation before the wake service.

This is why one should always be prepared for their last rites. If it is expressed in a legal document, it's even better because no one can question it... and the next of kin wouldn't need to run around like a headless chicken.

The moment the services of the funeral home is engaged, the funeral director would ask for instructions on how the deceased's remains are to be handled—whether there would be a wake service or not, and if the deceased would be laid to rest or cremated. If the family is unsure of how to approach the matter, the mortician would also advise on the best course forward, taking into consideration their financial, moral, and religious situation.

Death Out of the Hospital

Depending on where the deceased was found, the process could differ slightly. It'd be best to err on the side of caution and do your own due diligence.

For the purposes of this post, I'll be discussing this from the context of them dying at home.

The next of kin's first port of call would be to call the emergency responders (your country's equivalent of 911), informing them of the death. They would then dispatch the EMTs to the said location to further assist with the situation. At the same time, the first responder would guide you on the use of the AED defibrillator or perform CPR over the phone.

The EMTs have a duty to ask whether the family would want to continue the resuscitation and inform them of the consequences spanning from that—including the possibility of blood bleeding from the eyes, nose, and mouth. The pooling of blood, you would say.

Once the mobile electrocardiogram machine confirms that the deceased no longer has a heartbeat, a representative would have to head to the nearest police station to apply for a burial permit and engage the services of a funeral home. (The body would need to be handled soonest possible due to rigor mortis, hence the urgency.)

Because the investigating officer would need to verify the death (as required by law), the scene where the body was found would need to be secured. That is, until the police issue the burial permit.

The police in charge would then receive the oral report and draft it into an official one for you to verify and sign. After that, the report would be given to the sergeant in charge to sign off (after they have been satisfied with the details) before it is forwarded to the headquarters.

Once the headquarters okays the report, the burial permit is then issued and given to the informant, giving them permission to move the body.

For this, expect to spend hours waiting at the precinct.

(P.S.S. Depending on the nature of death and age of the deceased, the police might also request that a postmortem be conducted. The sergeant in charge would contact the informant directly with the updates if further documents/procedures are needed.)

The permit allows the funeral home to transport the body for the cosmetic procedure, getting ready for the wake service, or the cremation (as per the family's wishes).

When it comes to death, there's so much paperwork to be dealt with, so this is actually not the end of it.

Food Exploration

On the bright side, because stepping out of the house has been a draining activity for me, I've just decided to order everything - yes, including meals - online and have them delivered to me.

Paying that nominal amount for the delivery fees would be much better than having to deal with crowds of humans and risking a full-blown meltdown.

That in turn has led me to discovering more food and beverage outlets in and around my neighborhood.

The Calm in Chaos

I'm running around like a headless chicken as of late. Between work, the constant need to research the websites for specific medical items that I need, and the imbalance of life, there's not much downtime again. Ugh, what kind of life do I even have?

In short, I found myself in the hospital decades later, not as a patient but more of a next-of-kin. I was supposed to be concerned in my panic for the patient's well-being, but my behavior resembled more like someone who was disconnected from the situation.

Lol, no wonder the emergency physicians were caught aback by my reaction. I think they were used to dealing with frantic next-of-kins instead. I mean, this wasn't my first rodeo. The last time I was in the hospital, it was for the afterlife matters - and I had the same barely-there reaction.

Who knows if I had disassociated without even being aware of it both times?

But if there are some things that I've picked up from this experience, it's the importance of medical insurance. Even if you aren't open to purchasing an insurance policy, it is still pertinent to have a medical one. You wouldn't know what tomorrow would bring, so it's best to be safer than sorry. At least you wouldn't have to pay the medical bills out-of-pocket. I got mine in the end because of this reason (and am thinking of buying a second one to cover my soul too).

That said, for a future reference, I shall list the items needed in the event that someone I know or I myself end up being warded. At least I wouldn't get into a state again. First thing's first—your medical card. Or at least a copy of your medical policy in the event that your attending physician needs to liaise with the insurance company. It also works as a proof of your medical/health insurance—as long as it is still within the valid period.

Next would be your next-of-kin or someone to deal with the medical matters. Your next-of-kins are usually the close family members (parents, siblings, and children or relatives). Apparently, the definition is not legally fixed, so you can have anyone of your choice by way of a Power of Attorney to execute your standing instructions. (You're better off speaking with a lawyer for further details, though.)

Third, be prepared with the level of care needed after discharge. Depending on the seriousness of the condition, the person's competence, and their mobility, be prepared for the round-the-clock care and their stubbornness. The latter part will be a challenge as it will chip away at your emotions and wear down your patience.

Them patients are extremely—and I emphasize, extremely—capable of uttering the meanest and most demeaning words possible… and deny ever doing so. Not all, but some of them—so just be prepared for this.

And now, the list of items

-Adult diapers (especially if there is limited to no mobility whatsoever)

90cm x 90 cm underpads

-Underpads (mattress-sized [if possible] or the largest size [90 cm x 90 cm]) to avoid the risk of spillage/leakage (with adult diapers comes the use of this)
-Reusable absorbent bed pad (this works like the underpads, but it's washable)
-Wedge pillow sponge cushions (this helps when the person needs to be turned every few hours or so without breaking the caregiver's back)

Baby wipes

Antibacterial wipes

-Loads of wet issues/baby wipes and antibacterial wipes (for those days when it is necessary to wipe down the body and the bathroom's just a no-go)
-Medical gloves and masks (if you're dealing with soiled diapers)
-Comfortable clothes

Antibacterial Spray

-Air fresheners or sprays (so that the place won't start reeking)

Una Breve Bienvenida a la Blogosfera

(Translation: A Short Welcome to the Blogosphere)

Oh, look at what we have here.

It's been almost a year since I dropped from the face of the blogosphere. I mean, my last post was in May 2024, and it wasn't a complete one.

 

Taken from one of Sunway Pyramid's parking floors

Anyway, you might wonder, what could have pulled me from the blog for such a long time. Well, the answer could come as a surprise (or not, depending on who's reading). It's work; I've been so focused on work and fulfilling the hours that I forgot about this little project of mine.

Nothing much changed, except for the increase in hours, but it has taught me one thing: why folks always stressed the skills of time management and boundaries. If one isn't careful, the fragile scale tips over to the side where they spend more hours, which results in a dangerous domino effect.

(Trust me! I've lived through this twice!)

Yet, it is arduous for me to stop thinking about work. Whenever I catch a breath, I keep having the sneaking suspicion that something will happen or I will just commit a vanishing act for hours.

Workaholic, much?

Self-isolation, much?

At some poke bowl shop

Perhaps, but I do have moments when the mere existence of humans ruffles my feathers.

On the side, I have discovered a lot of F&B outlets mushrooming in locations within driving distance from my neighborhood. While a couple are my new haunts, I haven't given the rest of them a try, considering how I am unable to get myself out of the house and can only rely on Grab/FoodPanda to make the delivery. (My temper tends to rise whenever I am in a crowded area, so it's best to remove myself from the equation to prevent any blowout.)

But really, 2024 has sailed past with such speed that 1) I barely remember living the year or 2) I've lived through in a dissociative state. Now that we're in a new year - the year of a snake, let's see if I am able to carve enough time out of a busy schedule on a weekly basis to juggle this blog and my work moving forward.

I'd need the appropriate content to work with as well. I can't be plucking something out of the sky, right?

Consider this a brief post, while I crack my head to brainstorm a proper one.