Author's Note: This is a scheduled post, as Ciana's now knee-deep in whatever that she is now doing.
The moment the Taiwanese band, SHE's new song, 心还是热的, began playing on the radio, Shelby was subconsciously reminded of her faded friendships with two people, people whom she thought were important in her life.
As much as she wanted to deny it, there was another resident in her heart long before she met Matt. It was a brief relationship that left such a lasting impact on her, even though she had lost permanent touch with the man and berated herself for thinking about him after so long. She hadn't known if he led a happy life or where he now resided and didn't intend on reestablishing the friendship either.
Neither could she for the life of her remember what had wedged her and Alice far beyond the point of no return in their friendship. All she could remember was that at one minute, they were close but on another minute, they swiveled in the opposite direction and walked off, throwing the friendship into the drain. News had recently reached her ears that Alice now showed interest in burying the hatchet and starting afresh but far too much time passed to change or repair anything.
Stephie advised her from young that not all friends will remain in one's life forever and for those who sent themselves out the door, well, don't hold them responsible or blame them either. It is part of life, she had mentioned, but Shelby struggled to believe her.
Not even once.
To her, there were explanations behind people's actions and words.
But now that she carried a heavy responsibility to raise a well-mannered Samantha in a loving, healthy and stable environment with a financial burden on her shoulders, the life experience that she earned finally drove her to believe Stephie's words. She willingly understood that not all explanations were the truth in certain situations; it being a way for the person to escape the blame.
Like Shelby had joked once, "motherhood can really open your eyes to a whole new perspective." She knew that if she opened her arms, welcomed the reentry of the man and Alicia into her life, there was a strong possibility that it would jeopardize the balance that she had so cautiously weighed and executed. Maybe, if she was still a carefree singleton, if it was in their cards, she might consider the prospect of her love with the man being reignited with the strike of a match but one thing was for sure; had the Lord allowed Matt to stay, life would be on a much happier note and she? She'd be much more relieved, with someone to share about her worries for Samantha's future.
Let's say if the man was willing to reconcile with her. Would he be able to accept Shelby's baby girl and treat and love her like she was his biological? Nope, Shelby decided, she'd not gamble with Samantha's well-being and future by not only taking the risk with the man but also to introduce the peculiar Alice into the youngster's life.