Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sadness Piano Song - "Alone In The Dark" Music by Vadim Kiselev

Unable to cope with the growing negativity in her life, the brunette ran out of her house one fine day and sought solace at the quiet, peaceful beach that she had come to favor.

She had been smacked with nostalgia and buried memories the moment she had returned to her hometown; she had departed in the hopes that she’d be able to push it away and out of her mind to start anew, to have a fresh start at life but staying put there at the foreign place had no longer been an option.

Financial strains had pressured her to return. She had to face the music; she had to close that chapter to the cherished life that she once had and throw the key away, far away.

She knew she needed some time-out from this familiar but strange place; she wanted to return there to the place of hope and serenity. Badly. Her short time there had made her happier than she had ever been. But she knew deep in her heart that it was no longer possible unless a financial miracle happens.

I know that the truth can never be kept hidden forever; I know it will somehow leak out from the cans of worms but there are secrets that I wished were never revealed to me. Really. That’s my wish; I know that I had every right to know of it because it involved me, but what good did it bring anyway?

The revelation had smacked me with more questions instead of answering those that I already have; these are the current questions that only Grandfather Peter, Grandmother Madge and Uncle Perry can answer, all of whom are now “selling (or buying) duck eggs in Suzhou.”

I’ve made up my mind; when that wish of mine has been granted, I’ll ditch the familiarity here and take baby steps in a different environment – since nobody has the slightest inkling of what I am about to do. With that being said, I had arrived at this conclusion many years ago during a wake service: learn to appreciate someone while they are around, not while they are forever gone. Regrets will be strong in the air if you miss all the chances given.

Yeah, you got that right; there are those times when I don’t feel appreciated and question my life’s purpose. =(


  1. Spend time with ppl that appreciate you and leave those that doesn't. Life is too short to be wasted on unappreciative things/ppl. =)

    1. Hey Smitten, I have been staying away from unappreciative things and humans for quite a while now and truth be told, it feels lighter without them.

      Certain things have spiraled out of my control like the Suzhou part; I'm however waiting to embrace the happiness abroad when my time comes. =)

  2. True that, very wise words indeed.

    I agree with you, time wasted on "toxic people" is not worth it, however, as to your part about not being appreciated and the meaning of life...

    I think most people have thought and doubted themselves too at some time or other and will during times of stress do so again.

    I think the important bit is to remember the small things that makes you happy, enjoy doing them, and trust that things will get better.

    Hey, it certainly can't get any worse. :)

    All the best Charlotte! <3

    1. Hey Huai Bin,

      Which is why I said that when the right time comes, I'll ditch the familiarity and embrace a new happiness abroad. You're right; it's always the stress that makes one doubt themselves. I know I'm one of them.

      But yeah, I'm doing things that make me happy and spending time with friends who appreciate me for who I am. I sure hope that it won't get any worse and will instead improve for the better.

      Thanks, Huai Bin, for the encouragement. =)


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