Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I need to stop holding back on my emotions, really....

Thank God no one was with me when I rode the elevator down to the ground floor and ran to the waiting family car. I was more than prepared to break down there and then but can you believe that I actually expected it? That I predicted that things will turn out this way where the atmosphere between us will be strained and awkward - all because of some, for a lack of better word, human? That I suspected the second semester will contain more drama than my first?

Yup, I foresaw it during my 2.5 weeks' vacation in Western Australia.

Gosh, trying to balance a Law assignment, a pending Student Voice article about the SC Board of Committees and reading through the Historical and Social Criticism presentation slides in preparation for tomorrow's lesson while listening to an obstreperous music at an ear-deafening tone is no fun but I have to do it because my temper is flaring again - at the recollection of what transpired today. Not only did I crap for both tests (which were back to back, mind you), I lost my appetite during lunch and could only stomach a small plate of croissant and cocoa cappuccino from Starbucks (that let me with a bout of intense hunger during Media Arts) and oh, I used a colorful language for the first time on campus.

The word I swore I'll never say in Kyle's face, crap!

"I am so cheesed off that I want to take my Converse off and throw it at him - in his direction."

The English classmates whom I'm close with are growing petrified at the way the subject is getting on my nerves. San San saw the way I was trembling and rushing to finish the pack of snack that I bought from the vending machine before returning to the class to complete the remaining parts of the test.

Sigh, I guess I shall return to the dinner date with Thoreau. It's been too long since I excused myself on the pretext of heading to the washroom. Not to mention, I need to sort out some other things tonight too.


  1. Hello there! How's life? It's been a while ya?

    1. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for not coming to visit your blog, Hayley! =O

      Life's okay, I think.... it's been a rather busy time, that's all...

  2. Hey, you know something interesting (e.g. wonderful) about the Australian system?

    There's a thing called "Special Consideration" which you can apply for if you think you're going to fail something or you want to get better marks. You can usually see the campus doctor and cite stress and other psychological issues, and submit his report for special consideration. It usually means an automatic pass even if you knew you failed e.g. assignments are 60% or 70% but you have to submit before final exam.

    Hope that helps, it has helped a great many people throughout the years from slackers to people in real need. Best thing of all, it doesn't go on your academic record.

    1. I hope it applies to Australian universities as well, Huai Bin. I really do. =)

      At the college where I'm studying in now, I doubt there's such a thing, but thanks for letting me know. =) At least I know there's a way out if I'm ever overstressed in university. Yeah, I'm most likely heading to Australia for my undergraduate degree. =D

  3. Are you taking on too much? It sounds as though your life is so busy. Are you allowing enough 'you' time?

    1. I'm afraid so, YL. Not only do I have assignments from heavy subjects to complete, I'm actually and actively participating in the college newspaper and part of the yearbook committee. So yeah, my schedule's always packed. =/

      Well, that's a good question and to answer your question, YL, I don't think I am allowing enough 'me' time but it is in exchange for better grades. I won't push myself over the edge again, though....


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