Sunday, December 15, 2013

A Rollercoaster


A dessert that Sue and I sunk our faces into

Now that the first half of the exams are done and dealt with, I can completely breathe a sigh of relief. Not exactly, though; a part of me is anxious and apprehensive over the concluding scores for History and World Issues.

Going into the final History paper with an average score that barely passed the minimum requirement is never good. Don't get me wrong. I love and will always love this subject because not only did it expand my view of the world (when combined with World Issues), it actually provides a new insight into the past historical events.

Did you know that China was the most powerful country in the 15th century when the Europeans came and sailed along?

Did you know that to establish a direct trade with China, the British formed a route when there was a shift of power in China that allowed them to bypass and undercut the Ottoman Empire?

Don't be mistaken. Just because I am passionate about History doesn't mean that I'll major in it.

I'm just going to say that I didn't work as hard as I should have on the assignments and presentations that will have boosted the average coursework score, that's all. Remember how I paid for the exhaustion during the World Issues Conference with my health? Well, yeah, that showed how lopsided the time management and how stressful that time period were.

I didn't know until yesterday that I was holding onto the accumulated emotional stress from all the late-night studying when I slept for 11 hours straight, sacrificing the morning exercise and a trip to our favorite haunt. Truth be told, it was already plastered on my face after the World Issues paper and worried both Bearie and Dexter but especially him.

You see, only those who are close friends with me are able to notice the sudden change in emotions just by observing my facial expression and my speech.

As for that day, I couldn't smile as much as I wanted. Too much was going on in that moment.

Then, on Friday, I did the unthinkable: I went back on what I promised my love.

Dear, I know you'll be reading this (one way or another) and please allow me to apologize for abruptly fleeing the scene during our conversation. I never told you this, but it cracked my heart seeing you dragging yourself like a lifeless soul during that rough emotional period of yours and it really worried me to my core. I lost sleep, fearing the worst.

With that memory in heart, I don't want to break your heart by seeing the teary eyes. You see, there's nothing I want more in life than to see you smile. When you're lively, I'll automatically be happy and cheerful.

This is what happened.

I shall spare you the details, but what eventually transpired was I broke down in front of Bearie and hurried off to the toilet when I heard footsteps rushing down the steps. The moment I locked myself in the cubicle, I leaned my head against the door and silently wailed, hoping that those bittersweet memories would be gone with every teardrop.

I'm fine today, or at least it looks that way.

But enough of the melancholic post.

Let's move on to the surprise birthday party.


Um, this was actually a friend's birthday cake. I can't seem to find a picture of my own birthday cake. Guess the photographer forgot to leave a copy for me?

Personally speaking, even before my birthday rolled around, I suspected that there might be a celebration for me at the lounge and was hoping that it wouldn't come true.

The partners-in-crime really need a crash course lessons in drama. =P No matter how hard they tried to behave in their usual demeanor, I knew that there was something up their sleeves. Still, I was surprised that my friends at the lounge actually took time out and went that far to plan the celebration for me.

What occurred during the bash shall remain at the lounge and in the hearts of all those present on that day. XD

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Virgin Trip to Taipei 2013

Okay, guys, this is the overdue post for the Taiwan trip. I do have to warn you that it will be wordy, so please feel free to skim through instead of reading each and every word.

I am so sorry that it took me this long to actually write this, but when you have a schedule as busy as mine, you tend to crave for sleep above anything else.

It neared the Deepavali break when Mama Carrie suggested that we take the short getaway to Taipei, leaving on that Sunday itself. I wasn't thrilled with the idea because first, who in the world would bring their heavy assignments on a vacation? I've not heard of anyone who has done that. Second, our expired passport needed to be renewed. Hell if I am going to sacrifice class time.

But the elder won, sigh.

Seeing that there were shortened periods with a two hour break in between for the graduating seniors to attend a meeting, I had no choice but to swap my attendance for the Writer's Craft class with the trip to the Passport Department. To tell you the truth, if there was no History unit test on that day, Mama Carrie would've only sent me for the World Issues class. So yeah, Kyle and Iain, I'm sure you've already heard: I was absent because of this.

I even went as far as to leaving Cookie with a text message to inform him that if I don't arrive by a certain time to please inform the teacher that I'm still stuck at the government branch. It didn't help that the holiday season was around the corner and people from all walks of life were prolonging the validity of their passports. Thank God we managed to arrive on campus in the nick of time with my sandwich from Subway and caught a couple of bites before I flew down the stairs to my classroom. Yes, I flew down, but not literally.

I have to say, that's actually the first time I ate in class but hey, you can't blame the starving wolf.

Fast forward to the departure day.

There was no choice but to wake up at the crack of dawn since the flight was at eight in the morning. Why did we choose that timeslot? We thought that we'd be able to make it for the hotel's check-in time. As you'll read later, it didn't happen.

Two bad things happened once we arrived at Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT).


The Perth-bound Air Asia plane

After sending the luggage in, I suddenly recalled that anything sharp and capable of causing injuries wouldn't be allowed onboard and immediately realized that I have a pair of yellow scissors in my pencil case, which was stored in my college bag that I chose to hand-carry. I will never send that bag in as it will fall victim to itchy hands. True enough, the scissors was confiscated by the Immigration Officer but I really need to thank Lady Luck that I wasn't hauled in for questioning or anything like that. Whew!

That happens when you have not been traveling in years.

Shortly after the takeoff, I caught myself having the sniffles (no, not the onset of a cold) and silently sobbing while catching forty winks on the uncomfortable airplane seat. Gosh, I know it's made out of leather but the texture didn't have to be that rough, man! I barely slept during the 5-hour flight. Don't ask me why I cried; I can't answer you. The tears just rolled down my face in the snap of a finger - and it showed in the picture that I posted on my personal Facebook page. For all I know, my eyes weren't rimmed red or puffy yet I looked worse than I ever did.

You could actually see that I wailed at one point or another.


The night view of Taipei Main Station

By the time we arrived at Taipei International Airport, I was an emotional wreck and the winter winds didn't help to soothe my emotions. It, in fact, threatened to break the resolve that I was holding onto. The scenery from the airport to Taipei Main Station (the accommodation was located in the building next door) was beautiful with all the street lights and unobstructed view of the sea and such, but that's beyond the point. The main factor here is the cleanliness of the bus and courtesy of the driver. There was not a speck of dirt to be found in the bus. Whenever we were approaching a bus stop, the driver would ask the passengers if anyone wanted to be dropped off and even helped the foreign travelers to remove their luggage from the compartment, bidding them off as they vanish into their destination.

Compare this with the scenario in Kuala Lumpur, and you'll get a Heaven and Earth gap.

I called it an early night because of the exhaustion and barely eat. My dinner was just a steamed pork bun from the nearby convenience store while Mama Carrie bought a bowl of stewed tofu.

That was day one.


Reminds me of a mini New York City

I didn't know what possessed me on day three. I lied and pleaded with Mama Carrie to allow me to stay back as I needed to complete the rather urgent assignments because I know what will happen if I delay it until my arrival home (which was a day before the deadline).

That was the intended plan. What happened was the total opposite.

I barely touched the notebook and buried myself underneath the blanket, enveloping myself in the mixture of cold and warmth of the tiny room. I silently poured my heart out, thinking of the conversation that I had with him (no, not my love. It's actually someone else. Someone whom I once held close to my heart) while chatting with Bearie on Facebook. I felt emotionally drained and didn't want to do anything but remain in bed all day long.

Yes, skipping meals as well.

I spared my love the full details of this when I returned to class because he was on a rough patch in his life as well and I didn't want him to worry about me instead. I wanted to think that the Taipei trip will help to soothe the emotionally depleted soul; I really do. What it did instead was worsened the situation that I was experiencing.

After returning from an exploration (which included two large mugs of cappuccino, a plate of cheesecake, a reflexology session and some shopping) on the fourth day, the weakened system threatened to collapse at that moment with giddiness and fever but I pushed through. Having to deal with my rollercoaster emotions was already terrible enough and if I fell under the weather, only Lord knows what would've occurred.

We stayed a total of six days there and the thing is that the days leading up to our return home were fuzzy. I can only remember the bus trip to the airport because we arrived 50 minutes too early no thanks to me being blurry. I overlooked the departure time! I read 3.55pm as 3pm. =.="


Taipei Taoyuan International Airport Gate 7, bound for Kuala Lumpur

Seeing that we couldn't buy any suitable presents for Mama Carrie's colleagues and a memorable gift for me during the gallivanting, we hovered around the airport's gift sections in search for the souvenirs. I waited at the seating area not only to keep a watchful eye on the luggage, but also to rest the aching paws.

We rushed up to the Air Asia section to check-in after she bought all of the memorabilia. Little did we know that there was a growing crowd of passengers waiting too! It does make sense, though, because there were only two counters open for the normal processing. Still, we managed to settle the procedure even with minor hiccups and had ample time to while away.

The Immigration officer forced me to stare at the camera in front of me while she asked me a couple of questions - in Mandarin - after she compared the picture in my passport and the current me. I guess it's because I might have lost weight after taking the photograph? With that being said, don't think my fluency in the language is powerful. It's tainted with the Caucasian accent and there are only so many words that I know.

Mama Carrie being Mama Carrie, because she was hungry, she wanted some coffee to satiate the growling stomach. It is ludicrous when you come to think of it: we actually shared a large cup of cappuccino in Starbucks in the morning for breakfast and now nearing the dinner time, she wants to share another cup at the same coffeehouse again?! *eyes widened*

What I feared the most came true the moment I sat in the airplane. I burst into tears but this time, instead of allowing it to flow during the arrival flight, I forced it back in and convinced myself to head off to Dreamland to cope - until the smell of food teased my sense of smell, sigh. While the chap seated next to me was focused on his reading throughout the entire journey, I channeled my emotions into the free verse poem that I posted here earlier.

How we managed to carry our entire purchases home is a wonder as the luggage wasn't large enough to contain everything. If there are things that I regretted with this trip, it's the lack of proper planning in the expeditions and in the packing. We never drew a detailed plan of what we wanted to visit before leaving home; we were playing it by ear. Did I mention that I lost half of a bottle's worth of organic concentrated shampoo just because it was in the wrong container? Yup, and all the other bottles packed together with this one were coated with the gooey liquid.

Oh, well.

I guess I can only learn from my mistakes the next time around and I'm hoping that I'll be more emotionally stable when I return to visit Taipei after my graduation.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

I'm still alive....

To my fellow readers,

Please allow me to extend my apologies for throwing the blog on the back-burner for the last eight weeks or so. It's just that as the classes were making the transition to the finals, I had to tackle with a presentation (on my birthday), a major History assignment and a writing portfolio at one go and that left me with shortened sleeping periods for the entire week. Whatever time remained was dedicated to stealing forty winks and catching a fresh breath from the strangling schedule.

Don't be mistaken.

We're still knee-deep in our finals at the moment and my first one's tomorrow. It's a History exam, and I've barely studied. I mean, I have been revising but I know that there's more I can shove into my overworked brain.

I sneaked back, figuring that I might be able to blow off some pre-exam steam by blogging. Even during those moments of exhausting, I pushed myself to absorb all the relevant historical facts and look at what happened in the end? I ended up sleeping the whole day!

A lot has happened since the last post.

I'm going to be very vague here. Someone special has taken up residence in the fractured heart and is slowly sealing the cracks from the inside. It was pretty much an open secret in our circle of friends as most of them saw the flying sparks and chemistry between us. I was even teased about it multiple times by the best friend earlier, sigh.

Truth be told, I felt that things were changing after the love's weird demeanor during our free time together, but what tipped the balance was after Bearie told me that he was looking for me in the lounge when I was attending the late morning class. From what she said, even she was shocked when he told her that he missed me. Even though he was able to give me a definitive answer to that later, I couldn't shrug the suspicions off.

With that being said, I'm still keeping my oath about keeping relationships private and secret partly because Mama Carrie doesn't know and because I don't want pour unnecessary stress on this young, blossoming love.

There won't be any proper updates until after this Friday - since I still need to write about the long-overdue Taiwan trip and the movie date with the lounge gang members.

While I bury myself in the pile of notes and past assignments and court the exam papers, I shall leave you with the one and only dramatic monologue that I wrote for Writer's Craft.

"It is one in the morning. I am sitting in front of the computer screen, talking to the girl whom I really love on Skype instead of catching the adequate sleep. She is the beautiful rose that warms my heart every time I am down with raw emotions. Just by listening to her sweet voice, I feel so awake and refreshed that I can pull an all-nighter and face the next day. There's nothing I want more than to see her being happy; her laughs are music to my ears and watching her smile is enough to melt my apprehensions like buckets of ice in room temperature. Her big heart is what I treasure with my soul, but it depresses me to see that she cares more for the people around her - including me - than for herself. It breaks my heart like a mishandled porcelain doll every time she crashes under the weight of the world - whether from the pressure accumulating in her studies or in her life. She is a rare jewel in disguise, the way her curled hair falls nicely at the side of her face and the glow as sparkling as a diamond that her eyes display. She doesn't know it; she holds the special place in my heart, the one that is only occupied by the exceptional and cherished lover.

Fear chills me to the core when I wonder if I should confess my feelings to her. I recall that she disclosed once that buried behind those gleaming black pupils of hers is a fractured spirit. She explains that like the permanent engraving of a blister, she is deeply scared by someone once close that the shadow of despair still lingers around and preventing her from moving on in pursuit of happiness. I don't want my confession to shove her away in horrific surprise and be the accelerant to the end of our close and amazing friendship.

But I want to make her my adored treasure without forever losing her"

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Christmas Wishlist of 2013

Whoa, in the blink of an eye, the festivity of Christmas shall be knocking on our doors, reminding us of the homecoming parties and the gifts that are to come; for the Catholics and Christians, the birth of Jesus Christ in the manger and followed by the visit of the Wise Men.

I can't believe how fast the time has flown! One minute, I struggled to stay afloat and spent more time than I should being holed up, acing the quizzes but on the next minute, I am burning midnight oil, staring at the gargantuan assignments and mentally preparing for what was to come.



Like the previous years, here, I present to you my Christmas wishlist for this year. Depending on how you look at it, it might even serve as a guide for a birthday present too.

1) Literature classics of any kind and fiction books. Just no Twilight or Harry Potter; I'm not a fan of reading all about vampires or magicians.

2) Formal gowns. Prom???!!

3) Makeup accessories.

4) That branded tote bag.

5) Avenged Sevenfold's CD (the one that contains So Far Away or Afterlife) and Yiruma's CD (that contains Kiss the Rain).

6) A relaxing trip to the salty waters of Avillion. I know I've mentioned before that I don't fancy the beaches, but that doesn't mean that I can't take pleasure in the occasional trips there....

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tuesday's Story #7


It took Shelby a decade's worth of hard work before she could refer to the retail lot that housed the bakery as theirs. It was a twist of fate now that she thought back; the former landlord had notified her that he had met with some financial difficulties and urgently needed to sell the tenanted unit below the market value to any prospective buyer and to be prepared to surrender vacant possession when the SPA was stamped, and without much thought or hesitation, Shelby countered that as her shareholder and her had toyed with the idea of purchasing a unit for the bakery, they'd like to sign the Offer Letter soonest possible with a cash purchase to fasten the procedure.
    The first couple of years dabbling in the industry had been tough; she and her shareholder, although they had day jobs in separate fields, had to rotate their shifts around their schedules and in addition to spending hours in their kitchen experimenting with trial-and-error recipes of their own, there were publicity advertisements that needed to be dealt among other necessary things. For her, she was thankful that the hectic lifestyle had given her some solace as being in this lonely town with no familiar friends almost depressed her but for the shareholder; well, he almost laid down his steady relationship to focus and expand both careers until his girlfriend promised him to provide him with a certain amount of space and freedom.
    Even though the business had been steady for the last seven years, with the exception of the cashier, who was to report to duty at any minute, it never occurred to the business partners to remain behind-the-scenes and let the hired assistants to run the show.
    While she slaved in the kitchen, producing more of the tempting and creative goodies that the bakery was known for, the shareholder shoved his backpack underneath the table and craned his neck into the kitchen.
    "Morning, Shellie."
    "Hey, Brandon," Shelby replied, looked at him and noticed the nervousness written in his eyes. "What's up? Is something bothering you?"
    "You really want to know?"
    "Yeah."
    "The whole idea of marriage has been swimming in my girlfriend's mind these couple of weeks but I really don't know if I want to settle down now."
    She suddenly stopped kneading the dough and ensured that she had heard him right. "Bran, have you talked to her about it?" she finally spoke up, continued where she left off. "This affects her as much as it affects you."
    "No. Not exactly. I've told her that we'll talk about it after she returns from her trip abroad. I'm using that time to really think of our current standing."
    "But don't allow it to bother your mind during work."
    He pretended not to hear her and shot a glance at the wall clock, which read fifteen to ten. "And here we go, another day at work."

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Hopefulness

Stepping out of the airport immigration,
Yanking her luggage across the smooth, marble floor,
A wave of nostalgia washed over her.
The memories of friendships resurfaced like water vapor.
But she took it all in her stride.
She smiled from ear to ear.
Her eyes displayed a relaxed, contented soul.
She paced the floor with the grace of a runway model.
The burden of five years ago melted like frozen yoghurt.
Indicators of the heartbreak still remained,
And it stuck to her like permanent glue.

But the memory catharsis in sunny Sydney worked.
It engulfed her with the inner peace and acceptance that she needed.
She laughed more than ever before.
Contagious as it was,
It infected everyone around her like an epidemic.

She watched as the beautiful scenery of Taoyuan passed her by.
The hilly greenery,
The serenity,
It calmed her spirit as if it was an anesthesia.
All that swam in her mind was her loved ones.
How they guided her through those trying times.
How they helped her to recover from the heartbreak.

Monday, November 11, 2013

A Broken Soul

Sorry for the lack of updates yet again. I waddled in revisions and urgent coursework immediately upon touchdown - with not enough time to recuperate from the exhausting flight home.

While I comb through the countless photographs that I captured in Taipei City and settle with my assignments and the upcoming test, here is a (crooked) poem that I wrote on the return flight home.

It's loosely based on two real-life stories that ended on a neutral note. Neither is it a happy ending nor a sad ending.

Rocks are weighing her soul down
She is dragging her feet around,
Tired of facing the bittersweet life.
Her lips are curving downwards.
Her eyes are mirroring a defeated spirit.
Her heart is being burned by fear.
Wary is clinging to her like a frightened child.
Indescribable emotions are surrounding her.
A heartbreak is sending her into sadness,
One that she is struggling to pull herself out from.

She is staring at the skyscraper opposite her.
A sad smile is leaking out onto her face,
As the bittersweet memory is wafting in her mind.
It was a cool spring night.
They were sprawled on the smooth grass,
Next to each other,
Observing the moonlight above them.
They were discussing about their dreams,
Their future together.

He said, I will always love you, my dear.
I will never let you know the meaning of hurt.
I will treasure you like a fragile doll.
He made a promise he couldn't keep.
No, he didn't betray her.
He coated their love with lies.
She is left on the pavement,
Pouring her crushed heart onto the road.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...