Sunday, December 8, 2013

I'm still alive....

To my fellow readers,

Please allow me to extend my apologies for throwing the blog on the back-burner for the last eight weeks or so. It's just that as the classes were making the transition to the finals, I had to tackle with a presentation (on my birthday), a major History assignment and a writing portfolio at one go and that left me with shortened sleeping periods for the entire week. Whatever time remained was dedicated to stealing forty winks and catching a fresh breath from the strangling schedule.

Don't be mistaken.

We're still knee-deep in our finals at the moment and my first one's tomorrow. It's a History exam, and I've barely studied. I mean, I have been revising but I know that there's more I can shove into my overworked brain.

I sneaked back, figuring that I might be able to blow off some pre-exam steam by blogging. Even during those moments of exhausting, I pushed myself to absorb all the relevant historical facts and look at what happened in the end? I ended up sleeping the whole day!

A lot has happened since the last post.

I'm going to be very vague here. Someone special has taken up residence in the fractured heart and is slowly sealing the cracks from the inside. It was pretty much an open secret in our circle of friends as most of them saw the flying sparks and chemistry between us. I was even teased about it multiple times by the best friend earlier, sigh.

Truth be told, I felt that things were changing after the love's weird demeanor during our free time together, but what tipped the balance was after Bearie told me that he was looking for me in the lounge when I was attending the late morning class. From what she said, even she was shocked when he told her that he missed me. Even though he was able to give me a definitive answer to that later, I couldn't shrug the suspicions off.

With that being said, I'm still keeping my oath about keeping relationships private and secret partly because Mama Carrie doesn't know and because I don't want pour unnecessary stress on this young, blossoming love.

There won't be any proper updates until after this Friday - since I still need to write about the long-overdue Taiwan trip and the movie date with the lounge gang members.

While I bury myself in the pile of notes and past assignments and court the exam papers, I shall leave you with the one and only dramatic monologue that I wrote for Writer's Craft.

"It is one in the morning. I am sitting in front of the computer screen, talking to the girl whom I really love on Skype instead of catching the adequate sleep. She is the beautiful rose that warms my heart every time I am down with raw emotions. Just by listening to her sweet voice, I feel so awake and refreshed that I can pull an all-nighter and face the next day. There's nothing I want more than to see her being happy; her laughs are music to my ears and watching her smile is enough to melt my apprehensions like buckets of ice in room temperature. Her big heart is what I treasure with my soul, but it depresses me to see that she cares more for the people around her - including me - than for herself. It breaks my heart like a mishandled porcelain doll every time she crashes under the weight of the world - whether from the pressure accumulating in her studies or in her life. She is a rare jewel in disguise, the way her curled hair falls nicely at the side of her face and the glow as sparkling as a diamond that her eyes display. She doesn't know it; she holds the special place in my heart, the one that is only occupied by the exceptional and cherished lover.

Fear chills me to the core when I wonder if I should confess my feelings to her. I recall that she disclosed once that buried behind those gleaming black pupils of hers is a fractured spirit. She explains that like the permanent engraving of a blister, she is deeply scared by someone once close that the shadow of despair still lingers around and preventing her from moving on in pursuit of happiness. I don't want my confession to shove her away in horrific surprise and be the accelerant to the end of our close and amazing friendship.

But I want to make her my adored treasure without forever losing her"


  1. I know what you mean when trying to prioritize your time and still get in "forty winks". Seems harder and harder to do these days.

    1. Yum List, thank you for understanding.

      It's especially tough when you're trying to cram every information about the topics taught in class into the brain. There's only so much space available. =( I'm so going to catch up on my sleep after tomorrow....

  2. Take care, my dear! Hope you don't get too stress; holidays are coming. Time to relax & enjoy! xoxo

    1. Thanks, Shirley, but I am already stressed out. ='(

      I just can't wait for the last paper to be done and dealt with.... to catch up on the lost hours of sleep. Ah, the holidays will allow me the opportunity to relax without worrying about assignments or exams. =D


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