Monday, June 25, 2012

Childhood Regrets - The Abridged Post

There are many things from my childhood that have crept up to haunt me with immense regrets; those things had the power to change my future with the simple turn of events and yet I took it for granted that it will all fall into place, never once stopping to appreciate its importance and its value to me.

Credits to Quotes Pictures.org for the image

Look at me now, so far away from her original route with mistakes permanently erected in one’s memory. Okay, it was while we were having a chat in Pearl Point one evening with Mama Carrie in presence about the past, present and future that I was reminded of my own childhood.
“From what I can see, you are suited to live abroad (where you won’t feel so agonized)”
If I hadn’t been financially forced to leave that place full of memory laxatives, I’d have stayed on and joined the route to permanent residency half a year and lead a wholly different life, sacrificing my past for a better future today. It was much easier back then with fewer requirements but as more and more people are permanently flying out, the Immigration Department has tightened the rules and regulations, making it even harder to be a PR there.

Memory laxatives were the one that kept my spirits high, optimistic about the future, it just came with the change of environment but it has its price when it came to friendships (read on, scroll down). If I hadn’t been forced to study the subjects that I now hate with a vengeance, life would have been easier to comprehend with dreams of the future coming to reality. I can feel that I’ve changed into a different person, two split personalities: I’m the smiley face in the eyes of others but hidden from public view is the pessimist with a worried mind that runs like the ocean waves, not confident to fight for her dreams and locking away her deepest fears and worries.
"You don't have the never-say-die attitude that your late uncle possesses."
Friendships. What does it mean to you?

In continuation from this post, I’m more than glad to admit that it was of my negligence and ignorance for not keeping in constant touch with my childhood friends, but what do you want out of me? Back then, it was nothing but handwritten letters and emails, no such thing as the social networking sites that we have today.

Credits to Quotes Pictures.org for the image

The regret is that if I had kept everyone’s correspondence addresses, it would have made such an impact. The friendships with the boys (Jeremy, Ginaesan, Charles, Ryan, Adrian the well-built prefect, Darren the skinny prefect; the list goes on and on) and the girls (Sue Mae, Stephanie, Samantha the Sunday School mate, Hui Yee, Merlin, (Alicia) Anne; the list goes on and on) would have continued right up to this day, right up to our college/university years.

But still, I’m grateful that I’ve found a handful of them (Inez, Angeline, Kar Wyai, Chyrene, Michelle, Latha; the list goes on) who still remember me on Facebook and have learnt my lesson to keep in touch with them.

I shall leave you with this video; the lyrics really hit the core of this topic.

6 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to your post. I wish I had kept more in touch with my classmates too.

    Good friends are hard to find but some of my best ones are not from school.

    Wishing you all the best!

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    Replies
    1. Hey, Huai Bin!

      A handful of them whom I've mentioned above were actually my good friends; we clicked together like glue but that's part of the past now.

      I agree, it's really hard to find good friends nowadays whom you can trust. Who knows whether I'll have a close buddy from Church? =)

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  2. I miss those days of keeping in touch using snail mails. Steff and I used to send each other letters every month through mails. I really do miss the anticipation of waiting for a letter to come through the postbox and the excitement of opening the seal envelope. Technologies took over and those feelings of anticipation and excitement are now lost. Keeping in touch with old friends on Facebook is actually quite a struggle for me. It is an easier choice just to ignore those you once knew of. I only keep in touch now with old friends from Malaysia via Twitter or their blogs or through private messaging on Facebook, but that is only a handful of people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Izzy, I used to have that anticipation and excitement whenever I receive emails/letter from friends and associates, but it’s all gone now even before technology snatched our conventional methods of keeping in touch. I’m glad that they remember you as their friend, really.

      It was after writing the post that I’m learning that if my old friends don’t remember my existence, then I shall melt and burn the friendships that we once had. (Hence the embed song from JJ Lin.) Same, those whom I have been keeping in touch with now via text messages and Facebook messages are mostly my elementary school buddies.

      Delete
  3. 1 good friend is equivalent to 20 friends =) The one good friend can be your dog, mum, dad, bro, sis, cousin, husband, bf etc. =) Thanks for dropping by my blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Smitten, thank you for swinging by my blog! You’re most welcome on that. =D

      Now, I really wish I can pick someone from my circle and proudly announce to the world that [this] is my good friend, but I wonder if my dog treats me as one (since he knows all my worries and secrets!).

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