Anger and annoyance are surely thick in the air from the dark side of humanity. It has drained all of the emotional energy and patience I have with everyone around me - or is this the downside of doing law that no one warned me of? Is this the final torture before the light at the end of the tunnel? Where I’d feel so much indescribable pain that I just want to be left alone to wallow in them and seek solace in the darkness?
If it is true, then it makes sense why I’m pushing people away - but it’s about time I prioritize myself first. I know what I’m capable of when I’m pushed into the corner and the last it happened, it sent my friends cowering in fear. It also didn’t help that I dreamt of a religious institution. Although it is not the specific Church that I attend my weekly Masses in, there was a sense of familiarity about it. I’m not sure about the thematic feel, but it sure is indicative of me questioning everything that I once believed in.
Exams and assignments are done for me; I’m not supposed to feel like I am exasperated with everything and everyone around me. I should be relaxed instead.
Oh well, guess I need to ‘make that trip’* and confront whatever is hiding in the dark abyss of my heart. It’s about time that I listen to its demands and either work around it or resolve it.
*I was trying to make the reference to the scene in Yu Yu Hakusho where Yusuke pays his last respect to Raizen before making his return to the human world, but I can’t seem to remember Raizen’s exact words.