Monday, May 2, 2011

It's so normal ... and common

If you noticed there's a post missing, it's because I've deleted it. The reason? The post, I felt later, was redundant.

I know I'm not supposed to have dairy products for the time being, but I think I can find a way to bake cakes (for myself, obviously. I can't stand being criticized if the cakes aren't up to common taste).

Sigh, if only chocolate was allowed....

I have found vegan cupcake recipes online and am going to experiment with it, but there's no guarantee that it'll turn out right because I don't have the right pan (I can't find any stainless steel cupcake pans in town) and the texture is never right. (I envy the professional bakers as their cakes are all so .... perfect, as in texture wise. No bumps, just a smooth surface.)

I know I'm trying to be as optimistic as Mama Carrie, but there's a part of me that can't help but think (and feel) that I'll blow it up. There's always the fear of failing, but I was never intimidated by it from the beginning. It was part and parcel of life, but the question now is if it really blows up, what am I to do? Do everything from scratch? It sounds easier said than done. Plainly said, I'm 'caught in a crossroads'.

It feels like everyone is being selfish and not having any consideration for others. It makes me exasperated because I'm powerless to do anything about it. Grrrr.... >=(

There are some things that can make me lose my cool easily, and this matter is one of 'em. With everything that is going on, it wouldn't be a surprise if that realy happens, much to the Carries' chagrin.

I was watching an episode of a TV series and the character said something like, "God doesn't answer your prayers all the time.". I think Don Flack (played by Eddie Cahill) of CSI:NY said it, but I can't remember whether it was him or some other character. Yes, I know that the sentence may not go down well with some.

I want to take the digital camera along and take pictures with people that I know and of places that I have visited or have not visited before. I hate to say this, but I've been slowly forgotten and I'm forgetting people too. Some names and faces are familiar, but no longer recognizable.

I no longer look forward to birthdays because it's been years since mine was celerated. I will still wish friends a 'Happy Birthday' when their birthdays roll around the corner, but I don't expect to be greeted with a 'Happy Birthday' when mine arrives.

Please don't get me wrong. I don't hate birthdays, but I just find that there is no point in celebrating if no one is going to celebrate with you (or conveniently forgets it). Also, it's a reminder that you're a year older. Presents are fine, as long as the recipent is able to use it and in working condition.

Seriously, why can't I stay away from the computer for as long as necessary (or for as long as I want)? Why do I feel compelled to be online?

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