Have you ever taken the time out to reflect on your life's journey thus far? Or, have you wondered how things would be if you had/ hadn't taken the other path (also known as the plan B)?
The abovementioned questions resurfaced after the tele-conversation with the English classmate that I pondered on the past that shaped me into the person I am today. To be honest, it's been years since I've actually allowed myself to contemplate on the choices I've made because it's too miserable for me. Now, I'm however more than willing to admit that although there are faint traces of my gregariousness (to the point where the opposite gender may misinterpret it as flirtatious), I'm more reserved with my feelings and thoughts.
I filter the words that I choose to say.
I'd rather hold back on the topics of the conversation, remaining on safe grounds instead.
And practically not many people are able to decipher the inner workings of my mind, which is what I've always longed for. I don't want to be someone whose brain is as lucid as the clear, spring water... the time after graduation up until recently returned me the sanity to rethink the decisions I've concluded in the past year. Some were with no regrets (thankfully!); some with the deepest contrition that involved broken hearts and dashed hopes (yikes!)
A particularly striking one has been resting in the mental psyche. While I don't regret meeting the person, I am repentant for what transpired after that.
If I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was, why did I delve head-first into it?
It's all part of life; words shall no longer chip away at the shield I've build around me. What's best for me at the current moment is to strive hard for the major come February and excel in all of the classes, becoming the person that I am capable of turning into (something similar to what Ammar tweeted once or twice, I guess?)