Wednesday, September 24, 2014

A metamorphosis?

Dear readers,

Have you ever taken the time out to reflect on your life's journey thus far? Or, have you wondered how things would be if you had/ hadn't taken the other path (also known as the plan B)?

The abovementioned questions resurfaced after the tele-conversation with the English classmate that I pondered on the past that shaped me into the person I am today. To be honest, it's been years since I've actually allowed myself to contemplate on the choices I've made because it's too miserable for me. Now, I'm however more than willing to admit that although there are faint traces of my gregariousness (to the point where the opposite gender may misinterpret it as flirtatious), I'm more reserved with my feelings and thoughts.

I filter the words that I choose to say.

I'd rather hold back on the topics of the conversation, remaining on safe grounds instead.

And practically not many people are able to decipher the inner workings of my mind, which is what I've always longed for. I don't want to be someone whose brain is as lucid as the clear, spring water... the time after graduation up until recently returned me the sanity to rethink the decisions I've concluded in the past year. Some were with no regrets (thankfully!); some with the deepest contrition that involved broken hearts and dashed hopes (yikes!)

A particularly striking one has been resting in the mental psyche. While I don't regret meeting the person, I am repentant for what transpired after that.

If I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was, why did I delve head-first into it?

It's all part of life; words shall no longer chip away at the shield I've build around me. What's best for me at the current moment is to strive hard for the major come February and excel in all of the classes, becoming the person that I am capable of turning into (something similar to what Ammar tweeted once or twice, I guess?)

6 comments:

  1. yeah, the older we get, the more 'roads not travelled' we'll find in our lives. i believe in the wisdom of not dwelling on the past, but i do think if i suddenly was able to return to my twenties, i'd have done a lot of things differently. in the end though, the best thing might be to appreciate the blessings and happiness that we do have, whatever path we choose ...

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    1. I do concur on certain points, especially the part about not dwelling on the past. Then again, Sean, wouldn't the past act as a precedent for our future decisions? I do believe that no homo sapien will want to commit the same mistake twice; that's why there are always regrets suffusing in the air.

      I definitely appreciate the blessings that I've been given by God, but it's the contrary for happiness. There, it seems, is something always missing. =/

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  2. Yes!!! I wonder about this all the time! What would life be like if I had have chosen X, Y or Z instead?

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    1. Now that I am of this age, Yum List, I really wished that someone had at least warned me about the negative/positive aspects of each path in my life, so that I can choose the one that perfectly suits me or my requirements of that moment...

      Since it's almost impossible to turn the time back, I can only hope that when I'm an adult, I won't make the wrong decisions. =)

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  3. Studies must come first, so put aside anything negative & excel to fly high :D
    Happy weekend, dear! xoxo

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    1. Happy weekend to you too, Shirley! Hope everything went well! ^^

      Yes, studies is the most important and I'm trying to isolate myself from anything negative, aiming so high that I can touch the stars. =D

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