Saturday, December 21, 2013

Ranting Words

Okay, this doesn't look good at all.

I'm seated in front of the notebook and yelling my heart out to the obstreperous heavy metal songs that I am now listening to. The only time that I will do this is when there are negative emotions accumulating in me that I don't want to talk about, which is a really bad thing. I'll tell you why; it shows that the anger is building on the inside instead of being expelled from the system.

I'll have to warn you ahead of time that if this post sounds like I'm either crapping or ranting, it's because I indirectly am doing so. I'm not going to splatter my feelings all over the post, but I obviously need an outlet to vent my frustrations.

A part of me fears that whatever happened en-route to Taiwan may just repeat itself when we're heading off to the lovely refuge and I really want to avoid it. It doesn't help that it's an early morning flight we're catching. I don't want to be holding myself in the hotel room, scraping my heart with an imaginary spatula thus causing my loved ones anguish when I should be exploring the nearby retail (or food and beverage) outlets in happiness, sampling the wonderful cuisines that the place has to offer.

I'm just saying because whether it'll happen exactly in that manner remains to be seen.

Taipei Taoyuan International Airport

In reality, my eyes are burning hot as I pen this post. My emotions are being screwed as the departure date rolls nearer and nearer. It's like I'm unwilling to let go of something.

Wait, I think I know what it is.

I'm probably hesitant to leave my dear behind to venture into unexplored territories for a vacation without an unfathomable sense of concern. We're talking about a fortnight plus without any some form of communication and knowing me, I'm bound to grow worried - one way or another. The other side of me is aware that I should take this opportunity of flying out to clear the congested mind and breathe the fresh, unpolluted air of the lovely refuge before I'm thrown back into the second round of a hectic schedule, but the vacation resembles a leaking tap because of the amount of money being spent on it and I can see the wallet staring back at me with a gaping hole.

I'll tell you why now.

Between English, Law and Media Arts and my co-curriculum activities, there won't be much time left to spend on relaxation therapies and together with Bearie, I'll be downing loads of caffeine to cope with the stress and workload. It's pretty comical that I keep telling myself that I want a balanced scale of tough and easier subjects yet most of the ones I'm taking are leaning towards the harder side. Don't believe me? Pretty much all of my friends know that I took World History and World Issues together for the previous semester.

(There's however an annoying story behind it.)

Shamelessly copied from my personal Facebook page. It reads, "I seriously don't know what to expect anymore. Between this and that, I'm mentally exhausted and exasperated."

If I were to face the next semester in the current state that I am in, I think I'll collapse for the fourth time before I'm able to swim up to the surface to catch my breath. Trust me; I'm not as healthy as I should be.

On an unrelated note, the marks for my final papers have been announced.

Am I happy with the obtained scores? I won't say so. I'm instead relieved that the average is past the minimum required grade.


  1. I can't offer anything constructive, but just good wishes for your vacation, and hopefully there'll be lots of happy memories made ultimately =)


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