Tuesday, November 6, 2012
On a cold, rainy day like this, the lyricist in me is resurfacing from its hiding place after so many months of hiatus. Sitting by the bay window with the blanket providing my paws with warmth and throwing my deepest emotions into a song and a hot drink within reach; ah, it's an intoxicating thought.
Why do I feel like the rain will carry my worries and fears away when it leaves? Like it will wash away the pain and the sadness away and return to me a clean, polished heart?
And with it comes a heart willing to love again but with caution.
Don't look at me; I'm not the one whose heart has been deeply hurt. Yes, I might have been hurt and betrayed but nothing related to love or relationships.
Perhaps I've thrown too much into writing the story of Casey and Marie.
Perhaps I feel that he has done nothing to deserve this.
There's however a third possibility.
Perhaps the rain has brought my mind back to a conversation with Bya years ago about "The First Cut is The Deepest" by Rod Stewart.
There's always a fear whenever the skies have chosen to open their dams and send buckets after buckets full of rain because the chances of flash floods are damn high. It'll knock out the innocent car engines yet I keep running into them; it's already the fifth time in two different places.
How long are we to bear with the heavy rain and flash floods?
The reason I'm not pleased at all is because the rain has temporarily suspended the electricity supply twice. I was attending Sunset Mass when it happened the first time and let me tell you, it caused such unnecessary stress - with us trying to open the automatic gate manually, the barking dog and the neighbor waiting to slam their door again.
(We are mere mortals, not saints. Please spare the action.)
What do you think of this scene?
"My face is soiled. Standing in the middle of the rain, everything that I’m living for and holding together is crumbling – brick by brick. My legs are jellified; it knocks me down. I’m kneeling on the wet pavement, yelling my wounded heart out in tears."