Saturday, June 1, 2013

Scream it out loud

Never in my life have been I angered this deep! Never!

I hate to carp and spill bloody goo all over the post; there has to be an outlet to vent the exasperation before curses are written up on the stained walls, and those words are not suitable for public viewing.

It's a hellish place; not only is the area forever tainted with fragrance-infused air and chemical-infused air, I still have to deal with the over-the-top Bossy Queen and its inhabitants on a daily basis without any improvement on their side.

If she's thinking that just because she's lived here her entire life that she won't give a slight attempt of being mannered, she'll regret the day she crossed me! By then, I won't give any face to her and ensure that she will pay up for her errors!

My mood is badly screwed now and as if dealing with a rude neighbor isn't exasperating enough, the decision that I had made 4 years ago is hinting at me to do the same thing now.

I'm not a 3-year-old toddler who will believe that St. Nicholas (he's Santa Claus, if you didn't know) will leave a present at everyone's fireplace on Christmas Eve yearly. So, if the explanation you have given has weight in it, where's the rock-solid evidence? The moment I heard you presenting your case, I knew it was accentuated with more crap than ever.

I still can remember what you told me in the beginning and unless you're willing to repent your sins, leave me alone. Unless you want to sacrifice the relationship that we always have had, stay away from me; I'm in no mood to maintain any forms of communication with you while I'm loaded with fury!

Don't think that you're smarter than me when you can't offer your assistance silently. Since you chose to close the door, you should just seal your lips and remain silent, allow me to handle the matter on my own with my capabilities and bare hands instead of breathing down my neck!

I'm not all ears about receiving lectures, and I don't have to answer to it when it is not coming from my parents or grandparents! Sorry if I sound ill-mannered, but the truth of the matter is that it's my life we're talking about, not yours!

I really hate it with a vengeance when nosy people come up and question my choices and decisions like a crime detective grilling a murder suspect. Always remember, you're not my parent or grandparent, and that doesn't give you the absolute right to suddenly intervene to demand an answer to every question!

I've seen the first-hand effects of accumulated stress and am unwilling to be yanked down that path. My shoulders are aching with terrible resentment and exasperation and if I'm not left alone with solidarity and peace, a permanent diagnosis of high blood pressure will arrive at my door in no time as there is a history of the disease in my family background. Need not I remind you that I'll have to spend more on medical bills and be on lifelong medications, all through no fault of mine then?!

Being harassed by you on a frequent basis has really left me with a deep annoyance. Don't speak to me until such time when I have fully recovered and am better prepared to face you again.

Only then will I reach out to speak to you again, understand?

*sees a reluctant nod*

Thank you very much, then.

"Save me, I'm losing my only dream
I can use some guiding light, some place to go
If you hear me let me know"

- Save Me by Avenged Sevenfold

I never knew that waiting for a confirmation reply would leave me so anxious and worried that I don't want to be in the holiday mood but no matter what, I'll have to plan a long escapade to places I've never been, to places where I can't be found with ease around a tight budget and a fidgety heart if I want to save the soul.

Not to mention, I'm feeling weird. Like there's something wrong with me.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I know how it feels and I felt the need to chance certain aspects of myself to be more Zen too.

    I don't have any one sentence inspirational words to say, coz that just isn't real life.

    I hope whatever decision you choose, everything turns out well and you're happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry, Huai Bin. Nobody said that life was perfect and free of anger-inducing matters.

      That's what I'm looking forward to and am hoping that it will turn out for the best. =)

      Delete
  2. Yes, try to create some distance. How sad she is making you feel so bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yum List, I'm afraid I won't be able to be some distance away from the neighbor.

      But with the person mentioned in the second paragraph, I'm biting my tongue to prevent myself from a personal confrontation and am playing the silent treatment card... hope it'll work to soothe the annoyance that was created. =)

      Delete
  3. How are you feeling today?
    Hope you're better already!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Hayley, I'm feeling much better now although there are faint traces of the exasperation left behind. =/

      Delete

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